Hummingbird

Dear Grandma,

You left my life too soon. I never got a chance to show you the woman I became because of you. I wish I could have appreciated the gifts you gave me before we were parted.

I feel your presence every day in fleeting moments of beauty, love, and sorrow. Your voice echoes in the chitter of the birds you loved so dearly. Hummingbirds we're always our favourite. Their wings move in a constant infinity pattern as they flit this way and that, hovering in one place only long enough to suck sweet nectar from the garden. They remind me of you, always on the move yet making time to stop and enjoy the simple beauties of life. Your love for nature was contagious. I may have been the only child who enjoyed learning to name birds and flowers as a summer pass time. You taught me to see beauty in the world.

When my world was darkened by loss or pain you were a beacon of light. I carry that light with me now, guiding the way through tragedy and brightening moments of joy.

You taught me to sew as I watched you turn simple stacks of cloth into works of art. With a bit of time and tenacity, you could make anything you set your heart on. I admired your skill, but it was the confidence you had to try something unfamiliar that was truly inspiring. It gave me the courage to chase new ideas and persevere in the face of a challenge. Above all else, you encouraged me to create. You read my terrible poems and hung my gradually improving scribbles in the house. You bought me my first knitting loom, an item that helped save my mental health in the isolation of quarantine. You gave me the creative spirit that drives me forward. Without you, I would never have become the willful artist I am today.

I watched you dedicate your life to family and friends. You gave to your community and shared love freely with those who needed it. Growing up in a small city it seemed like everyone I met already knew and loved you. I was always amazed that one person could be so utterly beloved. You taught me that what we do to help others and what we put into this world is what truly matters. The lives you touched have never forgotten you, each of them better for having known you. That is the greatest legacy any one of us can hope to leave behind.

When cancer began to take you I saw the true strength and courage you possessed. Even in the face of illness, you showed love and not fear. While my spirit was breaking you continued to make the most of the time you had with your family.

I have a picture of you from our trip to Crows Nest Pass. We had just found a lovely new bird and you finally smiled for the camera and allowed me to take your photo. I know you hated having your photo taken but you did it for me anyway, and I'm so grateful for that. I treasure that photo. A single moment in time that captured the true essence of your life; smiling, exploring the world, and sharing time with the people you love. This is how I will always remember you.

I can never repay you for the gifts you bestowed on me, but I hope you can see that I now understand them. The strength I inherited from you lives within me. You live on, an eternal light guiding me through dark times. Although we are separated, the lessons you left ring in my ears. You taught me to care for myself, to love, and to see the beauty in the world around me. Most importantly, you gave me creativity and inspiration. You gave me strength.