How to Say I Love You.

My siblings and I have a very different look at our father and his love. He has never been a very emotional or sentimental person. He's never been the hug and kisses and saying "I love you" type of person. However, I never felt unloved by him. I still knew he loved his family. I was actually a daddy's girl and followed him around everywhere. My sisters weren't as attached to him as I was. Which leads to some heated discussions at times between us.

One of my sisters said at one point she loved our father, but she never saw him as a "daddy" like other fathers who are more doting and affectionate. She knew he loved us, but never felt like they had a relationship like a normal father and daughter. I'm also often told I was always his favorite. I don't see it that way at all, I see it as a different relationship with me than he had with them because I was more attached as a young child than they were to him. To be quite frank, they could be very mean to me and he was always happy to have me around. My mom worked later than him and had to drive further to get home so we had a window of time where if I didn't hang out with him I would be alone. I guess perception is reality.

My father did show his love in other ways. He would care for us while we were sick so my mom didn't have to miss work because he had more sick time and vacation time than she did. He could also bring us along with him to work if need be. He'd take a sleeping bag, pillow, and blanket and lay it out on the floor for us in the living room where he could keep an eye on us. If he couldn't miss work, he'd set that up in the back seat of his work vehicle and have a bag of food and a bag with coloring books, crayons and toys for us and just drive to the different work sites he had to go to that day. He made sure we had everything we needed, and we were taken care of. He worked hard to make sure he could provide for us. He would help us come up with halloween costumes and help us get ready to go trick or treating even if he didn't physically go with us, he was still involved in the process.

Once we hit the teenage years, he wasn't thrilled about us going out and doing the things that teenagers do, and as most teens we had a curfew. Once we became adults, he still asked that we get back at a certain time, not because he was trying to still control us or be overbearing, it was because he had to get up to go to work and he couldn't sleep until we were back at home safe. Once we made it back home safely he could go to sleep. I never pushed back on that, I respected that and realized it wasn't out of him still trying to set rules on me as an adult, it was just asking to respect him and understand that he worries about us. While most people would have scoffed and been annoyed by that, I looked at it as yet another way he was showing his love.

No, my dad doesn't throw around "I love you" or shower you with hugs, but there was never any question I was loved. There are so many other ways to say I love you, and they aren't always received by others for what they are. I don't know that I would have wanted him to be any other way. For all his flaws, he wasn't flawed in the places where it counted the most. He made sure we had food to eat, a roof over our heads, and that we were safe. It also made me realize that "I love you" are merely three words and without action they are meaningless. It may cause strained relationships with people at times, but if you can step back and look at the larger picture sometimes you will see things for what they are. Sometimes you can see someone may be using words to make you believe they love you while others are using actions to show you they love you.