How My Simple Return Turned Complex By A Money-Grabbing Deadbeat Ex-Husband

Two weeks ago, I sat down to do my taxes. I took the day off of writing to allow myself time to call the IRS if I had any questions about any new tax law. I expected my taxes to go like every year. It usually takes me about an hour. But this time, it took me four hours and I still haven’t filed my taxes yet.

It all started when I opened my mail. I received a letter from the Child Support Enforcement agency. A few years ago, my daughter lived with my ex-husband while I got my life together. I was having trouble after my narcissistic partner died suddenly. I needed some me time.

Well, at that time, I agreed to child support. I paid $161 to take care of my daughter. Little did I know, during that time, my ex applied for welfare and that triggered a child support case to open against me.

Child Support Issue

The child support letter said I was late on my payments and said I owed over $1,000. I thought we handled this last year. I sent paperwork to them, proving my daughter’s residence. They were supposed to close the child support case. But that’s not what happened.

According to the customer service rep, my ex applied for Medical and food assistance, with my daughter on his case three months ago. He hasn’t talked or seen my daughter since November 2019. This triggered the case to open again, which is why I received the letter. He doesn’t call her on holidays or her birthday. But he receives food stamps and medical based on the notion she lived in his house (which is a lie).

I told them she has lived with me since 2019 and I shouldn’t owe child support. If anything, that deadbeat should owe me money. She escalated the case to her supervisor for further review. She said I might have to go to court to fix this.

Because of him, I have to prove with school records, receipts, and medical records that she lives with me. At this point, I was fuming. After all the physical and emotional abuse, now he’s using his own daughter for financial gain!

Tax Time Is Stress Time

After a few hours of cooling down while I watched Golden Girls, I sat at my desk to do my taxes. Like I said above, I figured it would take me an hour or so. I didn’t expect any problems.

The actually taxes were easy. I didn’t make enough with Medium to file, and I only had unemployment income to claim. The process was only 30 minutes, and I felt good about everything. My return was small, but, hey, at least I didn’t owe money, right?

An hour later, I got a text message from IRS. It was an update about my return. They rejected my return because someone (my ex) filed a return with her on it.

What? How? Why?

I called IRS to find out how to fix it. They told me I had to paper file, and they would ask for proof she lives with me (again with the proof) and it could take four months to process. I will do this, only to rob him of the $3,600 he would have coming to him.

After my call with the IRS, I just sat and cried. This man has never contributed to help raise our children, and he robs me of any benefits to help his child. The tax money was going to go toward a car for my daughter. He will probably spend it to buy drugs.

I may have sent him a scathing text with details on how I will use the IRS to prove he is a liar. I know I should have let it go, and just handled it through the government, but sometimes that shell of a man, who I only ended up marrying after a drunken one-night stand, really gets under my skin.

So, here I am, hoping my anger will dissipate. Right now, it’s worse than it was two weeks ago. He’s never claimed my daughter on his taxes. I know they will settle it, but I shouldn’t have to go through all of this.

See, my ex is one of those people who has a college education but prefers to sponge off anyone who will take care of him. He did that to me for 14 years. He will never work for a living.

I am sure eventually it will work out for me. I am just a little irritated I must go through the wringer just to get the tax benefits I qualify for, only to have HIM steal it from me.

Perhaps I need to stop letting him get away with these kinds of things. Usually, I just let it go because it’s more drama than it’s worth. But this time, I need to step up and show him he can’t use my daughter for money.

And for the love of God, if you truly love your daughter, call her once in a while.

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Originally published on Medium.