Hooked On a Feeling

My grandma was the queen of crafting. She could whip up a queen size Afghan quilt in a couple of days, or sew together scraps to make a rag rug in a heartbeat. She would often cross stitch several projects simultaneously, my least favorite being her fly swatters. They were made from metal hangers, with cross stitched sayings like "Don't Bug Me" stretched out across the top...and when I was misbehaving, flies were not the only things she swatted.

When I was very young, she taught me how to do latch hook kits of different animals. My little hands were clumsy, and I would work for months to complete the yarn portraits of Chocolate Labs or wild horses. Every time I completed a project, I would wait in anticipation for my grandma to come home with a new one. When I moved away to live with my dad, she continued to send me latch hooks at least once a year, and I was always grateful to have a piece of her with me.

Memory can be a funny thing. My grandmother died when I was 17, and at the time I tried to remember all I could about her. What she smelled like, her goofy smile, the way she was an absolute fire cracker in every aspect of her life. But for some reason, I hadn't thought about the latch hooks. That is, until years later when I was at a friend's house watching a movie and I noticed the pillow I held in my arms had a fuzzy front. I turned it over to see a latch hook butterfly sewn onto the pillow cushion. I leapt up in excitement saying, "I used to make these with my grandma!". My friend, who was equally excited, exclaimed "No way! I didn't think anyone knew what those were anymore!" We laughed and bonded over memories of our youth and other crafts we grew up with.

Months later my friend was newly pregnant; I was nervous for her as she had some rough pregnancies in the past. An idea formed in my head, how great would it be if her new baby had a latch hook pillow of his own? So I embarked on a mission: to find a whale latch hook for my friend's unborn son. I went to store after store, with sales clerks looking at me like I was crazy. "Latch hook kit?" they would say, bewildered, "Never heard of those." I almost gave up, until I remembered the one 'store' that had been my saving grace so many times before; Amazon.

Amazon had all the latch hook kits a girl could ask for, including a beautiful blue whale for my friend's new boy. The day the kit came, I felt the same glee little me felt when getting a package from my grandma all those years before. I began to work on the latch hook, this time my fingers moved the yarn more nimbly than when I was younger, and I was able to finish the project much faster than I anticipated. Now came the pillow part. The plastic grids on the latch hook kits are not sewing machine friendly, but with the help of my seamstress mother in law, we made it work. I was able to give the whale pillow as a gift for my friend's healthy new born baby boy.

I didn't decide to do another latch hook pillow until I found out a friend of mine contracted a serious Cancer that was rapidly spreading through out her body. Her diagnosis gave her only a few months to live. Increasing anxiety filled my thoughts as I began to think of what I could do for her to make her last moments joyful and comfortable. I knew she would be on bed rest, so I began my search of the perfect latch hook kit for her.

My friend loved all animals, but especially dogs. She had one Golden Lab in particular that she had claimed was her favorite. He had passed away a couple years prior to her diagnosis. I stalked Amazon until I found a beautiful Golden Lab latch hook kit that would be perfect for my dear friend, and got to work. As I began to wind and pull the yarn, I felt my anxiety melt away and take the form of a beautiful portrait of a yellow haired dog. I once again solicited the help of my mother in law, and together we prepared a comfortable pillow for my friend.

It took me a week to muster up the courage to deliver my hand-made gift to my friend. I think a part of me was afraid to see the strong, joyful woman I once knew reduced to a shell of a person. I waited too long. The day came where I finally decided to make the drive out to my friend's house. I was minutes away from leaving, when I received a call from my mother in law.

"Hey what's up?", I said, "I am just about to go see Denise."

"Oh honey," Came my mother in law's concerned voice, "did David not tell you? She passed away this morning."

My heart sunk down to my stomach. I collapsed into the seat next to me, the dog pillow still in my hands, as I began to sob. Moments passed before I could pull myself together enough to decide what to do with the pillow. In the end, I gave it to my friend's husband to remember her by. Weeks passed, when I got a text from him expressing appreciation for the thoughtful gift and how much it made him think of his wife.

I haven't started another latch hook kit yet, but whatever the circumstance, I'm sure it will bring me relief and peace of mind; something to do to escape the pressures of this world. I owe a lot to my grandmother, for all the lessons she taught me in life, to give to others was a major one, and one I will keep with me the rest of my days.