Her Final Wish

“Hey you, she’s not doing well. You need to come in and say good-bye.”

It was a hot Friday in August when Liz got the phone call from her dad. Liz hung up the phone and called her mother-in-law to come watch her baby, Logan, while she went to the hospital to say her final good-byes to her 95 year old grandmother, Joy.

Joy fell in July and was in and out of the hospital after undergoing multiple surgeries. The doctors were exceptionally happy with her progress and decided to transfer her to a rehab facility before the weekend. That Friday morning, the nurse came in to do a few more tests before her transfer and found Joy unresponsive. The nurse called Liz’s dad, Robert, and uncle, Philip, immediately and they rushed to the hospital. After another round of tests were completed, Joy’s doctor suggested to have her transferred to hospice for her passing as there was nothing more they could do to stop the bleeding in her brain. The doctor predicted Joy would pass rather quickly and may even before being transferred to hospice on Monday.

“She will probably pass within the next several hours. You should have family and friends come say their good-byes and pay their respects just in case”, suggested the doctor.

“Dad, I know I can’t bring the baby in to the ICU due to hospital policy but I promised Nana I would bring him to visit the last time we saw each other. What do I do?” asked Liz.

“If she is still with us over the weekend, she’ll be transferred to hospice. Once she’s admitted, you can bring the baby to say good-bye. Even if she’s not awake, she’ll feel you were there with her,” said Robert.

The family took shifts staying at the hospital so Joy wouldn’t be alone if she passed over the weekend. Everyone reminisced of vacations, card games, and holiday picnics and even included Joy in the conversation. Joy mumbled a few more words before drifting into a coma to let her family know she was listening, at least that’s what they told each other. Joy’s doctor was extremely surprised she lasted throughout the whole weekend, commenting “she’s one tough cookie”.

That Monday, Liz received a text from her dad stating Nana was officially transferred over to hospice and Liz could bring the baby to say good-bye. Uncle Philip left early Monday morning to travel back home to Georgia and Robert wouldn’t be able to get into hospice until after 4 p.m. so she would be the only one to see her until then. Liz fed the baby, packed up the diaper bag and headed over.

Once Liz got there, she signed in and found Joy’s room. The staff had music playing for her and flowers in her window. They put had a plaque on her table thanking her for her service in the military with a red, white and blue crocheted blanket next to it. Liz noticed how peaceful she looked laying there under a children’s jungle blanket. She pulled up a chair and took the baby out of the stroller to give him a bottle.

“Hi Nana, I brought Logan to see you. See? I told you I would bring him so you could see how big he got. He’s eating a lot better and sleeping more through the night. I wish you could hold him one last time.”

Liz sat there crying softly as she fed Logan. She stayed a little over an hour and held Joy’s hand, squeezing it a little to let Joy know she was still sitting there even if she wasn’t talking. Once Logan started to get fussy, Liz knew it was time for her to final say good-bye.

“Tell Pop I miss him, I know he’s waiting for you with a cold Guinness. Thank you for everything. I love you Nana”, Liz said as she gave Joy a kiss on her forehead and said farewell.

Liz’s dad called a few hours later letting her know Joy officially passed.

“I guess she was waiting to see Logan one last time”, said Robert.

The next few weeks were a blur. Liz was taking an extended leave from her job so she volunteered to help box up and clean Joy’s house to get it ready to sell. Even with Joy being proactive and cleaning out the house by donating items and giving them away to family members, Liz was shocked there was still so much to go through and pack up. She decided to start in the basement and work her way up each level of the house.

Robert and Philip discussed putting the house up for sale since they didn’t know how long it would sit over the holidays. In the meantime, they would make sure someone was here if a potential buyer wanted to come through to see the property since it was still in the stages of being packed up. However, to everyone’s surprise the house had an offer within days of the house being one the market. The buyers put an offer on it sight unseen which was so rare but they wanted this particular neighborhood and loved how big the backyard was. It was officially under contract and Liz was overwhelmed with purging the house by herself.

It was the month of settlement and in just a few short weeks, the new owners would be moving in. Liz was only halfway done going through the entire house. She finally enlisted her brother and his fiancé to come pack things up on the weekends. They begrudgingly accepted but not before asking if they were going to get paid to help. Liz asked their dad to explain how family works to both of them and went upstairs to start the back bedroom.

As she entered, she remembered how many sleepovers she had in this room as a child. Both Nana and Pop would tuck her in after reading her a book. She’d wake up to the smell of pork roll and pancakes in the morning and then head down to the park to play. They taught Liz so much-from learning how to play pinochle and chicken foot, figuring out how to mix just the right colors for her painting and knowing when to pick the vegetables at just the right time from their garden. She loved being in that house and most importantly she loved being with her grandparents.

Liz started packing up all of Nana’s art supplies and books on watercolors, acrylics and charcoal drawings. She packed up the stuffed animals Nana left on the bed for when her and her brother would sleep over. She finally got to Nana’s desk and began going through her files figuring out what to keep and what to toss. There was paperwork from doctor’s appointments, house repairs, Christmas lists from 1989 and so on. Liz never knew how diligent of a record keeper Nana was, it was amazing.

Finally after a few hours and sorting all of this paperwork, she was on the final drawer. She opened it up and it was more books and photos of flowers and sunsets Nana must’ve taken to draw or paint. She took out all of the books and made piles of the ones she’d keep and ones she would donate. Then she noticed a small black notebook in the far back of the drawer. It seemed out of place and hidden away Liz thought.

As she opened the notebook and started reading, she realized it was all written by Nana. Each page was filled with stories, dates, locations, people, tickets, pictures and other types of memorabilia attached to it. Liz realized this must’ve been Nana’s bucket list. However, her “bucket list” seemed to of start when she was in her twenties after World War II ended. Liz realized, this wasn’t a bucket list but a life list of everything she’s accomplished, places she’s traveled or celebrations and every page was filled out. All but one.

Liz sat there reading page by page. As she got closer to the end, she saw a picture of her cousin getting married, Liz and her husband getting married, a few trips to the casino with friends, her mahjong group, her home in Florida being sold, Logan being born and then the final page was blank except the title “Final Outer Banks Family Vacation” and an envelope attached. Liz opened the envelope and inside was a neatly rubber banded stack of cash with a post-it note on it “$20,000”. Liz dropped the book and called her dad.

Later that night and after much debate, Robert, and Philip decided to honor Joy’s wishes and book one last trip to the Outer Banks with the entire family. The brothers decided it would be a good time to bring their mom’s, dad’s and late brother’s ashes and sprinkle them together in the ocean. They would use the $20,000 to pay for a rental property and food for the week. However, there was one stipulation the family must follow-everyone must be there, no excuses. After narrowing down a month, they picked a week and booked the house.

Almost a year from when Joy passed, it was time for their family vacation. Liz, her husband and Logan packed up the car and headed south. Aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered to this beautiful house with this amazing ocean view. They spent the days laughing on the beach and playing puzzles and card games at night. Everyone spoke about Joy frequently as if she were there with them. It was one of the most memorable times Liz had since Joy passed.

It was a Thursday morning right before sunrise when everyone gathered to officially say farewell to Nana, Pop and Uncle Lin. They all walked quietly down to the ocean together and as the sun rose on the ocean, it was as if a wave of light and love filled each and every one of them. As Liz took pictures of this moment, Robert and Philip said a few words about their mom, dad and brother before sending their loved ones off into the waves. They stood there in a moment of peaceful silence-some holding hands, others hugging each other and as they turned to leave, a family of dolphins jumped out of the ocean. Everyone smiled and laughed believing it was a sign acknowledging Joy’s final wish.

That night, Liz sat out on the deck and wrote about their day on the final page and taped a Polaroid of that morning’s sunrise along with one of the beach house. She closed the journal, hugged it close to her chest, smiled and said “Thank you Nana”.