Father-Daughter Relationships

A father's role in a family dynamic is significant especially in a child's development in the early stages. This piece will focus on the relationship between a father-daughter relationship and the daughter's subsequent male relationships.

A 2012 study on the relationship between father-daughter relationship quality and the daughter's stress response found that warmer relationships between a father and daughter that was characterized by emotional support and consistency was linked to delayed pubertal maturation, monogamy, and heavy maternal investment. The study even showed that fathers who invested more time in their daughters saw that these girls would begin dating and initiating sex at a later age. It also found that positive father-daughter relationships were potentially linked to the daughter being able to better cope with psychosocial stress in peer relationships. This reveals that positive father-daughter interactions in the early years of a daughter's life mean that when she is discussing social problems with peers, she is not inclined to focus primarily on the elements of the problem which are uncontrollable or unpredictable.

This is interesting because now we can see that a father-daughter bonding is crucial not only in the development of the daughter's romantic life, but also to their mental and physical well-being.

Now, let's take a gander at how this affects her romantic life.

Linda Nielsen of the Institute for Family Studies says that "a girl who has a secure, supportive communicative relationship with her father is less likely to get pregnant as a teenager and less likely to become sexually active in her early teens." This illustrates that such a girl waits longer to get married and have children because her educational and career goals are paramount and romance is secondary.

Nielsen further states that a woman that has been well-fathered is more likely to go into relationships with men who are more emotionally intimate and fulfilling. She also found that these women were less likely to turn to their boyfriends for emotional comfort and support and were less likely to be talked into having sex as opposed to women who were poorly fathered.

These are significant findings and it goes to show how important it is for a father to be completely involved in his daughter's life.

So, what can we do about this? How can we foster young girls who grow up to lead lifestyles that are emotionally, cognitively, and physically healthy? In her book, Fathers and Daughters, Australian author and award-winning journalist, Madonna King revealed the following advice for fathers and daughters to build stronger bonds:

1. Love her unconditionally

Your daughter doesn't always know that you love her and so you need to tell her and show her just how much you love her.

2. Value her opinion

Parents have this uncanny ability to either build a child's self-confidence or trample it. How you deal with your daughter voicing her opinions will determine if she continues to put her trust in you with what she's thinking. Always remember that while your views may have been built up over many years, possibly decades, hers may be only three hours old.

3. You are responsible to be there

A father should not always take a step back even if his daughter becomes prickly at times during puberty. Stay close.

4. Do something together

Making time to work on a project helps build memories. This might look like a sport, working out together, fangirling over your favorite bands or music genre, or it could be a charitable project. Whatever it is, make sure it's something you both share. Warning: she might not ask to do it herself, so you should take that first initiative.

5. Try not to fix her problems for her

Listening is key here. While you are listening, allowing her to vent, teach her to change a car tyre and a light bulb! Just give her time. All girls want is for their dad to be present and to have an understanding.

6. Don't parent by gender

This means that you should be ambitious for her. She doesn't like being over-protected just because she's a girl and this will also teach her to be a better judge of risk.

7. You are her prime role model for men

What she sees, she will also expect in men. This is a huge power on your side so don't waste it.

8. Take her out on dates

This can be as simple as grabbing coffee on your way to school or even going out to dinner. Try to make it regular like once a week or bi-weekly. Maybe even every month. So when things get rough, you always have your dates to talk and connect.

9. Don't think that you offer less than her mother

Mothers and fathers offer unique parenting styles that provide a full spectrum of parenting for their daughters. Never underestimate your power in raising your daughter.

10. Talk

Both genders communicate in different ways and we must accept this. Recognizing these will be worth it.