Don't Let Your Teen Become a Statistic

Hiding our heads in the sand will not help when it comes to teens having sex. We have to admit that it is happening and if you have teenagers there is a chance that they are either having sex or thinking about having sex. So what are you going to do about it? Forbid them? I’m sure you remember how well that worked when you were a teenager and your parents forbid you to do something.

Instead, we should think about giving our teenagers the information they need to make informed choices. Yes, there is sex education in most schools today. But they are limited in the information that they are allowed to give kids. The only one who can truly decide what information teenagers have is the parents.

Embarrassing? Awkward?

Yes, talking to our teenagers about sex is kind of embarrassing because when you talk about sex it is hard to avoid admitting that YOU have sex or have had sex. Sure they know it, but they don’t want to hear it.

But think of the consequences. STDs and teen pregnancies are almost common these days. And teenagers know that – but it isn’t “real” to them, so we need to make it real.

Would you rather see your teen dying in a hospital because they have AIDS or raising a baby and trying to go to school at the same time OR would you rather suck it up and get past your embarrassment? Those may be your choices.

“It Will Never Happen to Me!”

Teenagers don’t say this but that is what they believe deep down. Unless it happens close to home, it isn’t real to them. They think that because their boyfriend says he’s only been with a couple other girls that he is safe to have unprotected sex with. But what they don’t think about is who those other girls have been with. Because she is now connected to them, too. And she isn’t thinking about who the partners of those other girls have slept with, either. It only takes one person to have HIV or another STD and if you had sex with one of their partners or the partner of one of their partners you could contract it, too.

Teens need to know that there are many diseases out there and while they won’t kill you, they will certainly make your life miserable. Tell them in detail about the rashes, the discomfort, the pain – and bring in some pictures if you can find them. The Internet can be a wonderful teaching tool!

Deglamorize

I think the recent reality shows that have started to become popular are not showing how hard it really is. They act like that is what they want to do but they end up glamorizing teen pregnancy instead of showing the truth.

There are people who have babies when they are teenagers and do fine. They manage to get through school and get a decent job and do ok for themselves. But stop and think about why many teens become pregnant – because they are abusing alcohol or drugs or because they are acting out. Now, how easy do you think it is for these teens to give up all of that? Do you think a baby is enough of a reason for all of them? Many of them end up going back to their way of life shortly after the baby is born.

I’m pretty sure that the baby that was born only last week to a friend of my daughter’s is not going to grow up and think teen pregnancy is glamorous at all. She was born with deformities and may never walk and if she does she will likely have to wear braces for a large part of her life. Why? Because her mom didn’t want to have a baby at first and tried to terminate the pregnancy by drinking and doing drugs. And now she is going to suffer for it the rest other life. And the teen mom will have a much harder time taking care of a special needs child. I think the recent reality shows that have started to become popular are not showing how hard it really is. They act like that is what they want to do but they end up glamorizing teen pregnancy instead of showing the truth.

There are people who have babies when they are teenagers and do fine. They manage to get through school and get a decent job and do ok for themselves. But stop and think about why many teens become pregnant – because they are abusing alcohol or drugs or because they are acting out. Now, how easy do you think it is for these teens to give up all of that? Do you think a baby is enough of a reason for all of them? Many of them end up going back to their way of life shortly after the baby is born.

I’m pretty sure that the baby that was born only last week to a friend of my daughter’s is not going to grow up and think teen pregnancy is glamorous at all. She was born with deformities and may never walk and if she does she will likely have to wear braces for a large part of her life. Why? Because her mom didn’t want to have a baby at first and tried to terminate the pregnancy by drinking and doing drugs. And now she is going to suffer for it the rest of her life. And the teen mom will have a much harder time taking care of a special needs child.

They Will Make a Choice

The bottom line is that they will make their own choices. You can’t make choices for them. You can tell them where you stand. You can encourage them to follow a certain path. But you can’t make their choices for them. So make it clear to them that you love them and because of that your prime concern is their safety and that means ALWAYS wearing condoms. No matter what. And then make them subtly available so that they can use them without making it obvious that they are having sex.

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