Death - One of the Greatest Fears

Many people say that their biggest fear is to die. The death of oneself is what it refers to, but I disagree. The biggest one is to have a loved one die.

You feel empty, you feel useless, you feel heartbroken.

It's the most difficult thing I have experienced. The day I got the news, it was devastating. He had been in the hospital for months. We knew it was a possibility but he gave it his all. He fought with every might but it was too much.

Here came the “What ifs” and other questions.

What if we had more time?

What if I had said goodbye?

What if he was here today?

What would I do with him?

What if I had spent more time with him?

What if said “I love you” more times than I did?

What if…

What if…

My grandfather was my father figure. I loved him so much. Three years have past but even now I’m full of tears. I live my life to try to make him proud, I have settled with the idea that he is no longer with me, but the pain still lingers.

Everybody loved him and misses him. The mourning period was dreadful, you could see the pain in everyone’s eyes.

I live in Mexico, and here, there are loads of traditions. One variation is about the funeral and its prayers. You can’t sleep the first day, you have to stay awake and pray so that he can go to the other side safely.

Before the funeral, he (within his casket) would be taken to his favorite places that were close by. Many people came from all around Mexico, even the USA. He was carried by many. This is how much people loved him. Many more sent their consolations. I was devastated but also proud of how many people my grandfather had influenced. He was a great man.

Culture and religion are combined. There are many forms of mourning and it may seem weird but we also had a Mexican band playing. It went throughout the entire night. We have family from the south, and they were the ones who brought them all the way to the event.

We prayed, we cried, and we sang. The band played all of his favorite songs, we chimed in. In our culture, it is well seen that we come together as one and not just mourn the dead but also celebrate them. Celebrate all that they did in their lives.

We also have the Day of the Dead. Sounds weird huh? But it's a celebration in which we remember our loved ones that have died. We honor them.

There are two days, the first one is for kids and the next one is for adults. On each day, we gather food and general stuff that each person liked. And we create an altar. It is said that they will visit every house that has an altar dedicated to them.

They see your love and care for them with this altar. So making it beautiful is a must. November 1st and 2nd are these special days to celebrate.

We continue to celebrate him on November 2nd, his birthday, and the anniversary of his death. And of course, every other day we can think of. It is maybe only a cultural perspective, but I think that we should always honor our deceased loved ones by the way we live.

These have been some ways we have been dealing with the loss of my grandfather. How do you do it? Do you have similar traditions? What do you think these celebrations come from? Are they cultural, social, traditional, religious, or a mixture of all of them?

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it and inspired you to live your days in the present and to appreciate more the ones who are still with you.