Daily Struggles of an 81-Year-Old and His Daughter — Part I

My Unexpected Visitor

After 37 years living more than 500 miles away, my father is now living with my husband and me. He invited himself to live with us without asking if I had the space, if my husband had any objections, or if I had any plans. He just bought a one-way ticket and asked me to pick him up at the airport. I was stunned and confused at first. But thought, “that’s okay because he is 81 years old.

I quickly learned it is not a simple task living with an 81-year-old. My father is a narrow-minded, stubborn, negative man, with little to no understanding of how my life has unfolded and lacks consideration for others. It frustrated me the first few days. It seemed nothing I did was right, and it took a toll on me. He was judgmental and condescending. “But that’s okay because he’s 81 years old,” I thought to myself.

Our First Issue

There has been an issue for many reasons. The first issue being about my gardening skills. I have a ton of plants in pots — possibly 100, if not more inside and outside combined. They are healthy, green, blooming, and the ones outside are thriving under the Florida sunshine except for one. Prior to my father’s arrival, I had set that plant aside to throw in the trash but did not get around to it before his arrival. My father loves gardening, so I was sure he would enjoy my wonderful plants. I expected him to compliment the plants and entertain himself sprucing them up. But, I was wrong. His focus went straight to the dead plant and only complains if there are any dead leaves visiting the eye.

“Why do you have that dying plant there? That will not come back to life. Throw it away,” he sternly told me.

“That is why it is there because I am throwing it away,” I replied nicely.

“Bah, if you’re throwing something away, do it immediately. No need to wait or set it aside. It is not going to dump itself. Just throw it away now,” he said.

I did not like what he said or his tone of voice and replied, “Dad, I am not a little girl anymore, so I would appreciate it if you did not speak to me in that way or tone. Also, I will throw it away when I want to, not when someone tells me to.”

I might have been a bit snarky but he really got to me. Though, he did not respond, but every day after that he has been nagging me to throw the darn plant away. He even went as far as complaining to my son regarding the dead plant I refused to throw away. I know the plant will not survive and have no intentions of keeping it. But I decide when I want to get rid of it, not him.

I will Prevail

It has been almost three months since the plant fiasco. The plant is still sitting in the same spot I set it on the day I decided to throw it away. I can be as stubborn as my father is, therefore, I refuse to throw my plant away. Dry, unhealthy, or not happy, for now it will stay where it is. As a matter of fact, from now on I am going to water the darn dead plant.

Like I said before, it is difficult living with an 81-year-old narrow-minded, stubborn, negative man. But that’s okay because he is my father and I love him.