Cass' Attonement

Hi Cass - I am writing this to you with a wounded heart. Believe me, this may not be one of my more elevating messages. Make sure you are sitting down. I'm not sure why this is important - it is what one requests when dealing out unwelcome news, so I am requesting that you do it. So here goes nothing...

We had a fire at work. No one was injured, so that is unintended good news. It was in the kitchen-some dumbass was cooking and the pan caught on fire. It went downhill from there. We were forced to evacuate in what I can only call a choatic mess. It was rather frightening and we were outside for a good long time. This was my first fire alarm that I can recall - and I've been there for twenty years now. As you can imagine, there was some panic, as the nature of the work dictates that fire alarm testing isn't done. We weren't sure who was in charge or where to exit and there was a lot of smoke. What a total mess!

I shut my computer screens down and logged out of everything. I thought I was being prudent. Turns out it wasn't prudent to leave my black notebook on my desk. I took my purse and my phone with me. When I returned to my desk, the notebook was gone.

I was working on composing a series of letters to you, as a gift. They were about some of the insanely funny, awkward and unbelieveable situations we've found our single selves involved in. Just a couple of single girls living the single life. We had so much fun that I was sure it would cheer you up. I knew you were struggling quite a bit and I naturally wanted to do something positive that was meaningful and humourous. I was so excited to be close to finishing. I only had some tweaking and editing left to do and they would have been in your hot little hands. I had imagined that you would tell me that they were hilarious and that they made you cry in all the good ways. I had imagined the return of your killer smile and mischievous twinkle in your eyes, that have been sorely missed. It was a great idea, right?

Right. The good news is that it didn't get damaged by fire, as it didn't reach our desk area. Cue the bad news: the notebook was taken. I can't definitively say who took it, but I think both you and I know who is capable of such a thing.

If the name Bree didn't spring into your mind immediately, I don't know you at all! She is the one person in that place that would revel in the intimate details contained in that notebook. She may be shocked as a few entries involve her indirectly but that would only add fuel to the fire. I am concerned that she could use this information to hurt you. As for me, I don't care. She really can't hurt me without inadvertently hurting herself. However, she would delight in hurting you if she could. What was intended as a comfort could potentially become a public embarrassment. For this I sincerely apologize a billion times over.

The nature of the stories, you ask? Do you remember the one night that we gave those two boys a ride home and they were convinced we would abandon them when we stopped for food? That is unquestionably one of my greatest memories. What a surreal night. There are so many more biographical details of our lives that should never be made public, but are such a great source of amusement when I think about them. I was so sure they would be the same for you.

I haven't heard anything yet, nor have I sensed that anyone at work has seen the book. Am I naive to think that perhaps it was thrown out (which would bum me out but not as much), or taken by someone else? I can see it now - a well-meaning colleague returns it and tells me they took it in error and are returning it unread, as they realized it was mine. I may be viewing this wearing rose colour glasses, but a girl can dream.

Cue the good news. Our lockers were damaged due to the fire, being adjacent to the kitchen. The insurance settlement dictated that each employee working that day gets $20,000 for things loss and emotional turmoil (a story for another day). Incredible right? Apparently it was divided equally. Honestly, I didn't have anything even close to valuable in my locker, but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

So grad a sadle as I am proposing an act of attonement! I propose that we go on one of our "adventures" to Aruba. Remember the sun? The beach? The resort pool? Hot dad? It seemed like it was created for us. We can really live it up on my insurance settlement dime. We can stay in the best resort on the beach. We can eat and drink to our hearts' content. We can do activities that we couldn't afford. And think of the shopping!

The stars must have aligned or something, as I feel this is an opportunity to rediscover those two girls that were so confident, attractive and sensual. Mercury must be in retrograde to be unleashing the goddesses into the world once again! There will be another hot dad, I'm sure of it. This time we will chat him up. While I know this won't change anthing, it could change how we view the situation. If we are more relaxed and recharged I'm sure we can handle anything when we return to civilization. At worst, we will have made material for more letters and will return with a killer tan!

The big decision weighing on my mind right now is do I confront Bree and find out if she has the notebook? The question then quickly becomes if she does, then what? I have no idea. You know what she's like - it would be like a mouse approaching a viper. I'm positive she would boldly lie to me anyhow, and would delight in leaving it hanging over our heads. I could offer money, but I doubt she would take it - dirty secrets would trump money to her, I'm sure. Even if she did take it, how can she unread what she has already read? And I'm positive there would be copies made. The only ace I have is that she could be embarrassed right along with us - I may be able to threaten to make that go viral. Her little "followers" will be drooling for all of this (they make me sick).

I leave you with this, my bestie. Let's make the most of my settlement. Let's get back in touch with who we used to be. It really wasn't that long ago. Best case scenario would be a resurgence of the two amazing girls that I miss. This growing older business is for the birds. Let's flip the bird at it and live it up! Sounds great, right? What do you think?