Blissful Blossom

It was a very chill evening, and honestly, I wasn’t so sure what life had in store for me anymore because, at this point, I’ve decided not to care. If things are meant to come crashing down on me again, that’s all right, infact, it’s what I expect the most out of life after everything I’ve been through these past few years. I stay at an orphanage home now and things couldn’t get any worse. Mum died last night before my very eyes, in my tiny hands, I held her warm body. No one says anything about how the body of a dead stays warm before it turns utterly cold.

‘Mummy wake up and take the water’, I remember yelling while I was being dragged out of the church where she was kept because no hospital was open at that time of the night. No actually, those who took her round the city looking for a hospital later found one where she was diagnosed of a liver problem of some sort, and were advised to deny her food or water for the night until she can be taken to a private hospital in the morning for proper medical care.

Yup. You heard right. Deny her water. Till this day, I can’t shake the feeling that I had a hand in her death because, she was dying slowly, and since it’s always been said that water is life, I could have given her a drop or two while no one was watching, and maybe, just maybe, she would have survived.

‘V, what are you doing here alone?’ a familiar voice asked. I turned and it was my big sister, Anne. I didn't give a reply, I just turned my head briefly to acknowledge her presence. Sitting close to me and wrapping her hands round my shoulder, she continued ‘you shouldn’t be alone at this time. You need all the comfort you can get from people around, from friends’ still cradling me. Hearing friends, I jolted out of her warm embrace and yelled ‘they are not my friends, I don’t like this place’ before storming away to where I can be alone again.

God, how I hated mum for having to leave now. What kind of mum would leave her kids in the hands of a stranger? Why did she have to leave me?

Finally, I found a spot to sit and cry for a while before going in to join other kids for dinner. Dinner was one meal I dreaded a lot, macaroni.

Who gives a mourning child the meal she hates the most? I hate this place.

‘Is this the only thing available for dinner?’ I asked with so much disdain in my voice, the lady serving just looked up and replied ‘you go chop abi you no go chop?’. I said ‘no’ and left the queue. I didn’t mind going a night without food, hunger was the least of my problem at the moment. While leaving, I noticed a face behind me, earlier I heard someone call him Caleb. Well, he didn’t look so bad for a Caleb but that shouldn’t be my worries now. I left the dining hall to sit outside for a while before going in to sleep.

‘V, right?’ I heard someone say behind my ears, how i almost jumped out of my skin. It was Caleb.

‘Yes, and that was really rude. It’s not nice sneaking up on people’ I said irritatingly before standing up to leave. He held my hand, ‘I’m sorry, just wanted to…’, he didn't complete his statement before I snatched my hand away and kept walking away towards the very big tree standing in the middle of the compound. He didn’t stop coming after me, ‘I just wanted to know why you didn’t collect your dinner’ he said finally catching up to me.

‘So?’ I asked turning around to face him. He just opened his mouth dumbfounded.’I thought so too’ I said before walking back to the dorm area to my room. I didn’t sleep in the same room as other kids and my sisters, for some reason, I slept in one of the workers room. She didn’t say much to me, and I was really grateful for that because I wasn’t ready for another series of pity like I had to endure all through the day. This time was mine, and I had planned earlier today that I was going to make use of it to shed enough tears until I drifted off to sleep. Well, turns out the night had other packages for than I had earlier planned out.

‘Night devotion’ someone shouted from outside.

‘You can’t be serious’, I groaned out in anger. Why now of all time? Are these people really after my happiness? These questions just kept ringing in my head. Well, let’s just get it over with I thought to myself. So I stepped out to join the devotion, and guess who decided to stand next to me? Caleb of course.

‘Can you just stop been goofy already?’ I said giving him a stern look, ‘please’ I added.

‘Okay, fine’ he replied throwing his hands in the air, ‘but I just want to b friends with you, you look like you need one’ he continued.

Hmm, why does he sound so charming right now?...

‘That’s nice of you to think but I’m cool, thanks’ I said and walked to another corner of the room where the devotion was ongoing. He didn’t come after me, luckily but I could see him stealing glances severally at me. Finally, the devotion ended, while leaving the hall to my room, Caleb grabbed me by the waist and whispered in my ears ‘goodnight pretty’.

‘I see you’re persistent, you win, I’ll be your friend’ I told him, exhausted.

‘Thanks V, you won’t regret this’ he replied smiling sheepishly. We said good nights again before I went to my room, and I was too drained to even continue with the fore planned agenda for the night, so I just drifted off to sleep.

‘Viola’, a masculine voice called, ‘come up please’, he said making me want to crawl under my skin with so much dread. I stood from behind the class and walked up to Mr. Jonathan, my Mathematics teacher. I knew what this was about and I was about to hate it so much.

‘Class’ he began again, ‘like you all know, Viola Crowns just lost her mum’,

Oh no, please….

‘So I want you all to be very supportive of her, and make her feel as comfortable as possible’, tears was already stemming at the side of my eyes, ready to be blinked out. I hate being in the spotlight like this, it makes me weak and vulnerable, and that is not what I want to be seen as.

Not caring if he had any other thing to say, I walked back to my sit to let the tears flow. I didn’t bother listening the rest of his period, I just held my head in my palm and looked out the window, lost in thoughts until I felt a kiss on my cheek. The person smelt familiar and nice as always, it was none other than Chris my high school love.

I looked up to meet his smiling face, which made me smile as well. ‘Are you good?’ he asked with his voice full of concern as usual, I just nodded my head in affirmation. Not content, he asked ‘are you sure? Is there something you want me to get you?’, I just shook my head and smiled at him. As much as I loved to see his face and look in his eyes, I really wanted to be alone, at least for the mean time. Thank God he understood that and left, but not sooner had he gone that my besties crept up to me.

These girls, can’t you guys read the atmosphere?

I turned sharply to express my disdain before Chioma raised a finger up and said ‘before you say anything, I and Precious just wanted to tell you how much we love you and are here for you, okay?’, I smiled and whispered ‘okay’ before placing my head on the desk. I could still hear them whispering as if to say something but it seemed one was stopping the other.

‘I’m listening’, I said raising up my head, waiting for them to say something. ‘Well’Precious started, ‘we’ve heard side talks that Chris and Cassie are now an item’ giving Chioma dagger stares, ‘and that he kissed her during a game of truth or dare when he was asked to kiss someone he had a crush on’, she finished.

Not knowing what to say, I stood up and looked around the class and it was just us three. I went to his bag to get his diary which I knew he always came to school with, I opened the first page and was shocked. He had cancelled my name and replaced it with Cassie’s. All kinds of emotion came over me as I continued to swipe through the pages to find out he actually cancelled my name everywhere, completely invalidating me. I felt very tight inside me as I began to cry. My girls came up to me to console me but I just signaled to them to be on the look out for me as I got a white ink to completely paint out wherever my name was initially cancelled on the diary before placing it back in his backpack.

I wasn’t just sad, but really angry mostly at myself for being so small and flat, and not accepting his proposal when he asked me to be his girl months back. Cassie was big and well endowed compared to me, although I didn’t believe she was as pretty as I was, but regardless, he always wanted me to be bigger than I was and because I couldn’t, he left me for Cassie the new girl that just started the session with us.

I didn’t act like I knew what was going on, so I just kept my cool and whenever he came to me, I acted normal even though I was boiling inside. We went for sports outside the school like we normally do every Thursday, and I saw both of them hand in hand, not caring if I was there or not. Izzy came up to me and placed his long hands on my shoulders, ‘now that you’re free, will you be mine?’ he asked smiling sheepishly. I threw his hand off and walked forward a bit faster, I wasn’t in the mood for jokes right now, even though I knew he was kind of serious, he has always had an open crush on me from the very moment he walked into our school.

‘I love you V, and I promise to treat you right, just say yes to me,please’ he continued. ‘Izzy stop, I know you’ve known about this all along but you didn’t think to tell me?’ I asked angrily stopping in my track. He backed up a little, hands in the air ‘it wasn’t in my place to say, I’m so sorry my love’, he said before pulling me to his chest. We continued walking again before he asked ‘what are you going to do now?’, very valid question to which I had a very simple reply to ‘nothing’, he just looked at me and laughed.

**************************************************************

Hours later, we got back to class and Izzy came to sit with me as his way of apologizing for not letting me know sooner about Chris and Cassie. I love him so I forgave him, he was the only male in my life I could rely on now. After a few more classes, we closed for the day and some of my class mates and teachers, including that of Anne followed us to know our new location. On the way, Chris came over to console me again but too furious to just let things slide, I asked about him and Cassie and he said they were nothing but friends, and then I asked him about the kiss which he replied to saying ‘it was just a game of truth or dare V, nothing more’.

Well, I wasn’t one to believe that because I saw them all day, and I must say, they looked really good together and it made me really angry and jealous. Ever since I saw Chris, I thought he was going to be my soulmate and although he asked me out severally, I couldnt accept his proposal because Mum had warned us against being seen with boys and so, I was hoping to accept his proposal when I was done with high school. Now that I think of it, I could have just accepted his proposal and then kept it a secret, I was smart enough to do that. After spending a little bit of time with us, they left promising to come visiting the coming Saturday.

Just as I thought the drama of the day was already over, I was still trying to get something to change into when one of the kids came to tell me that I was being summoned by the Big Mummy of the orphanage.

What could be the issue now?

‘Good afternoon ma’ I greeted when I entered her office to meet Anne already standing there too. I looked at her with questioning eyes and she just stared back insinuating that she didn’t know what was going on as well.

‘Afternoon my dear’ she replied motioning for us to sit. We both sat and she began again,

‘I hope you girls are enjoying your stay here’

NOPE. Not one bit ma’am

‘Yes ma’ we replied in unison and looked at each other again, smiling.

‘Good. I called you to tell you that the exams are fast approaching, and as you know, the orphanage runs a school’, she said sitting up in her chair.

Okay…

‘After this term’s exam, you both would have to’

Drop out??

‘Stop schooling at your current school and come to join us here at the orphanage school due to the fact that the orphanage might not be able to afford enough for both your fees, and we would like you both to join our growing institution as well’, she completed.

Oh thank goodness.

Wait, what? No more Precious, Chioma, Izzy, and even my Chris?

Tears was beginning to brim at the side of my eyes. I could hear my sister saying ‘Oh, okay, thank you ma’. I just stood up and went to my room to shed tears, why all of these today? I couldn’t help but wonder.