Between the Flowers

Feeling the blades of grass between her fingers and the sweet kiss of a warm summer breeze on her cheeks, Rose lay surrounded by her favorite flowers. Here she was comfortable, here she was safe. Here she could forget about the world, just for a moment. This was her home, her true home. Not the brick enclosure she slept in every night. She glanced at the trees and they looked heartbreakingly back at her. I know how you feel, she thought. The heartbreak never goes away. It just dampens over time. Like watching the sun setting. As the sun is setting, it seems like the sun is taking the longest path to end her journey. Yet, you’re left wondering how and when the darkness had crept up so quickly. And the dark is so much darker than you would believe. Until the moon lights up the darkness, and you are reminded again that there is even warmth in the night.

This would always be her spot. Her favorite moments were here – she remembers the laughs and giggles that tittered over the flowers as a child. The tears and angst that fell into the dirt as a teenager for every boyfriend who left. Now, the heartbreak and sadness that wove their way through her heart and reverberated into her surroundings. Her favorite person had left. Not in the see you later kind of fashion. The kind of leaving where she worried, she’d forget their smell, the sound of their voice, the smallest features of their face. The worst kind of leaving. The kind where they never come back. There it was again, the internal wrenching of her heart. It felt like her heart was being crushed by a weight heavier than can even be imagined. She couldn’t believe how much pain she felt. It was surprising she could continue with this amount of sadness inside. When you lose someone, you love so much, there’s no way else to feel.

She paused her thoughts for a moment to smell the nearest Tulip. Spring was her favorite season. Things were growing and weaving around each other like a flower fence, connections forming perfectly like a woven basket. Birds sweetly singing their conversations back and forth. Grass the color of a green Jolly Rancher. She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her surroundings. Once again acknowledging the sweet summer kisses the wind bestowed upon her. I can get through this. I won’t forget him. If I need a reminder, I can smell his cologne that we keep in the cupboard. I can sit in his favorite chair. That oversized chair that we can’t seem to give away even though it hasn’t quite reclined right in years. I can keep the memories alive for as long as possible. In that way, he will still be here she promised herself. It won’t be the same as a living, breathing person, but it’s the next best thing. It's the only thing. The trees shuttered and nodded in agreement with her. They understood.

So, she pulled herself up, dusted off her dress, and made her way back through the field. Turning only once to peek back at her favorite spot. The spot that had always been there for her, that never judged, and that always made her feel better, if only slightly. It was time to say goodbye for the day. The day was beginning soon, and it was time for her to leave. She had gotten exactly what she needed. She put on her best brave face and walked confidently toward the day leaving behind her flower sanctuary.