Being the cousin of a Psychopath addict

My cousin is an addict, has been for as long as I can remember. He has been in and out of jails and rehabs since at least I've been in middle school. He has also gone to school ran by the army or some branch of the armed forces. He is an admitted psychopath with sociopath tendencies. He has used and stolen from most of my family. I will be calling the family my family because I do not consider him my cousin any more.

My grandma is still giving him money and believes he is currently clean. She is the only one though. We are all tired of this situation except for her. However she will not let him into the home and cringes every time he shows up. He won't even speak to me unless it's to tell me he doesn't give a shit about me to which I respond with "drop dead". At this point I won't really wish him dead but if he did die it would mean we wouldn't have to worry about him any more. My aunt straight up told my grandma that it is no longer safe for my cousin to get rides from anyone in the family anymore. My aunt told my grandma that my cousin is no longer her grandson, he is just a guy on drugs. Of course my grandma will not listen to any of this.

For those who are not clear an addiction is the act of not being able to go without a certain thing or substance. Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol and others are addicted to shopping or gambling. A psychopath is someone who lacks remorse or empathy, this person could suffer from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior. Now a sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting in the person being antisocial and a lack of conscience. So what is the difference? Psychopaths genetically predisposed to this behavior, they show a lack of empathy or guilt, exhibits conniving behavior and they can have better job success. With sociopaths they are environmentally influenced. They feel empathy and guilt, they'll have erratic behavior and they struggle to keep or find a job. What do psychopaths and sociopaths have in common? They both have antisocial personality disorder and can form social relationships. Both can be treated.

So how exactly did we realize there was an issue? Well he was always causing problems or getting into trouble. This sounds normal and it was for a while. Some how it went from normal trouble to drug and violent trouble. It also lead to stealing and using people. I got use to it, I didn't like it but it was normal. It didn't get to the point where he was dead to me until recently. He had a kid and never got his act together. There was a brief span of time where I thought he got his stuff together and was going to keep it together but he even managed to screw that up eventually.

I wish I could say that I still love my cousin or that I still at the very least look at him as family but I can't. He has been using members of my family for years now and I just got tired of it. There are only 2 people in my family that still put up with his crap and enable him. The rest of my family just got tired of it and refuse to have anything to do with him. I made a rule with my family that I don't even want him to know what city I move to. I don't want him to know where I live or where I work. If he shows up I will call the cops on him, that's how bad it got.

He is no longer my cousin, he is a drug addict. I am a year younger than him and I have my life more together than he does. I have a steady job that pays good and I am on track to buying my first home and a new car soon. My cousin can't say that. I don't know if he could even say that he could afford a meal at burger king.

If you have an addict in your life, I am sorry. I know it is hard and I hope that your addict will get better. Please don't enable them. If they never get better it is not harmful to cut them out of your life or to set boundaries if they wish to stay in your life. You have to stay strong or toughen up.

At the point of me writing this we haven't seen him in a week. He's not missing, we know where he is sorta, we just would like to keep our distance. This situation is anxiety inducing for me and I wish that all of my family would cut him out of their lives but I have a feeling that it won't happen. My grandma and aunt (his mama) will not let him leave our lives whether it is through mentioning him or them enabling him some how. Grandma keeps saying you don't turn your back on family but at what point do you let a member of the family go to save the rest of them.

I can't keep this story silent, not because I'm a gossip but because I am tired of hiding. He guilts people into helping him by saying stuff like "so you won't help your own blood?" It's getting to the point where I thing my grandma will be even more broke than she already is to enable him and his mom might go through a divorce because of him. To be clear I do not encourage risking anything especially financial stability or marriages for an addict.

I will end this here because I feel like I'm rambling. If someone you know needs help get them help.