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Am I the asshole for insisting we put my 8-month-old baby in a French immersion daycare?

by Nneka Anieze 7 months ago in married / parents / immediate family / feature / children / art
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I, 30 years old female insisted to put my son, 8 months old in a French immersion daycare even though my husband, 38 old male thinks it is not important that we raise him bilingual. My husband is a skilled worker and a high school graduate while I am a teacher who studied the English language and who English is her second language. This baby, let’s call him Kai, is our first child and he is always fighting me about every little decision and seems to think he knows best about everything.

Am I the asshole for insisting we put my 8-month-old baby in a French immersion daycare?
Photo by Erika Fletcher on Unsplash

Am I the asshole for insisting we put my 8-month-old baby in a French immersion daycare?

I, 30 years old female insisted to put my son, 8 months old in a French immersion daycare even though my husband, 38 old male thinks it is not important that we raise him bilingual. My husband is a skilled worker and a high school graduate while I am a teacher who studied the English language and who English is her second language. This baby, let’s call him Kai, is our first child and he is always fighting me about every little decision and seems to think he knows best about everything.

So last week, we started looking into the daycare that would best fit our work schedule and our new baby. I have been off work since the baby arrived and have been receiving parental benefits. Even at that, the amount I receive isn’t up to my usual monthly salary and we are both expected to contribute a certain amount into our joint account. Even though I have been short on my monthly income for the last year, I always made sure to put my share in the joint account. Anyway, because I would usually end up drawing from my saving to pay into the joint account and coupled with the fact that I need to buy a car, I decided the best thing to do would be to cut my leave short and go back to work so I don’t end up completely broke. This was what I did and how I came across a French immersion daycare that was about 10 minutes away from our house. I told him we should put the baby there so he could be exposed to French.

He refused, saying that it would be a waste of time and that the baby doesn’t need such confusion of language. I told him that children who are exposed to two languages at a young age have a good chance of excelling in said language even at a later time in their lives. I told him that knowing how to speak two languages can only be an advantage to the baby and we should do our best to give him all the advantages he would need to navigate the world. He insisted, saying the boy didn’t need the confusion that comes from two languages and he would need it. He also said many other unkind things.

I usually yield to him in many arguments but I refused on this one. I told him I was a bilingual speaker. Knowing my country's language and English made it possible for me to excel in Canada. Growing up, I never knew I would ever find myself in a country where no one spoke my mother tongue but here I am. I want my son to be able to have any possible advantage someone speaking French might have. I imagine a situation where he applied for a job and the only thing that makes him outstanding from the other qualified candidate is that he speaks French. There is no negative effect I can see from him learning French.

My husband said he didn’t think it was necessary, he said it would confuse the baby, he said the baby wasn’t going to move to France and besides, the daycare would be speaking France French which is different from Quebec French. I couldn’t understand why he was looking for cons in my suggestions. I told him none of what he saying is a major factor that should negate the merits of being a dual linguist or even makes sense and that he was trying to fight where there was no need for fighting. We ended the talk with him saying whatever and stalking out of the room.

Now, I feel like I have made a mountain out of a molehill. I feel like I should have dropped the topic. Could I have been wrong? What matters is that we find a good daycare. What do you think? Did I overact? Am I the asshole?

marriedparentsimmediate familyfeaturechildrenart

About the author

Nneka Anieze

Hello there,

Nice to meet you. My name is Nneka, mom of one living in Windsor, Ontario. I enjoy reading a lot and have decided to try my hand at writing. Hoping to better my skills and perfect my writing skills. I hope you enjoy my writing

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