Advice To the Married or Partnered Fathers of grown up Children

You and your partner, your wife, the mother of your children, have worked together for years, decades to bring your children into the world and now they are grown.

A new chapter has begun.

How do you feel ?

Apprehensive for the future? Lost in thought? reflective of your decisions, did you remember everything ? Have your offspring learnt all the lessons you taught them? What do you do with your time now? Travelling home from work to see who ? The dog, the cats, the wife ?

The Wife …..

Maybe she worked two jobs whilst raising the family, maybe she put her career on hold to be a stay at home Mum, maybe she worked whilst you were the stay at home Dad .

Look at your wife. What do you see ?

Your nest is empty and you both feel a loss, a change. The hurdles and challenges of parenting have been jumped and cleared and are long behind you both.

The last time you had time together to just be you was years ago, when you'd hesitate before calling her to arrange a date. Look forward to seeing her carefree face greeting you at the door as you arrived to take her out . Get excited about a weekend away, time alone, a walk in the park, an ice-cream shared by the sea , a drive out in the country, time to watch a sunset on the horizon . Remember ?

Has she changed ?

Hell Yes !

1 – Recognise the beauty

What was it that first attracted you to your beautiful wife ? Her hair, her smile, those perfect curves, her laugh ?

Her hair now shows a new style, needs more care, highlighted by grey hairs of wisdom collected over the years of experience. Her smile is still to be seen when your children call or turn up for a meal or she is shown a gesture of unconditional kindness. Those curves are now exaggerated by the rigours of childbearing , her skin decorated by perfectly imperfect stretches. Her laugh is waiting for your jokes to release its music to delight your ears.

2 - Appreciate the skills

The skills that motherhood bestows benefits everyone that your wife has come into contact with throughout your life, skills no educational establishment could ever hope to teach.

Remembering the important dates, the birthdays, the anniversaries, the preferences, the allergies, the thoughtful gestures, the names, the games and the specifics, the little things.

Negotiating the disputes, arrangements, planning the trips, the days, the important points.

Organising. The lost socks, the day, the play dates, the clubs , the groups , the experiences , the opportunities , the shopping , sufficient clothes, clean warm bed , the house , the garden , the toys

Tenderness. The nursing, the blanket over the sleeping, the dropping everything to be there, the drinks made, the food prepared, the gifts delivered, the cards sent, the time given whenever required. The cuddles and the kisses, the medication administered, the sleepless nights, the Love.

3 - Admire the Goddess

She is an ever flowing vessel of Love , giver of time and energy. She shows the battle scars of the challenges she has faced and conquered like a warrior. She contains the wisdom of many experiences lived through . She is a Goddess. She is your Wife, your partner.

4 - Reminisce

Acknowledge your journey together so far, the ups and the downs, the celebrations, the sorrow, the trials and tribulations, the success and failures, the lessons of your life. Your shared memories, your shared experiences are yours to treasure.

5 - Celebrate your future

Plan the dates. Arrange to collect her at the door and notice her beautiful smile. Call her just to hear her voice, tell her a joke just to hear her laugh. Surprise her, celebrate her, compliment her enjoy her. She is your partner.