A Warm Passing

It was a warm summer day in the suburbs of Connecticut. The flowers smelled so sweet that I could almost taste them. The subtle aroma of Lily bushes in full bloom distracted me from the long drive ahead. My brother and I had been staying with our uncle while our father was in the hospital. We were pretty young; I was seven and my little brother was just barely four years old. We had been having fun with our cousins during the summer but still missing mom and dad. I don't recall being too worried about dad because we didn't really know how serious having cancer was.

It was a normal, sunny summer day. We walked down stairs to eat breakfast. Aunt Mary made some pancakes with fresh strawberries. I lingered over my plate eating the fresh strawberries and enjoying every last lick of the whipped cream on top. Uncle J came and sat next to us at the table. He looked sad but I didn't ask why. He told us that we were going home that day, back to mom and dad. He said, "Go upstairs, wash up, brush your teeth and pack your things, I'm taking you home today." We were filled with excitement and sadness at the same time. We enjoyed staying with our relatives but also missed staying at our own home with our parents. My brother and I hurried up the stairs and did as we were told. Soon we'd be home, playing in our own yard and getting hugs from mom and dad.

Running down the stairs, dressed in a white sundress with blue trim and flowers, I quickly put on my white sandals, blue sunglasses and announced, "I'm ready!" I made sure my little brother was all packed and ready too. We said our goodbyes, gave hugs, kisses and a big thank you to our aunt for having us. Off we went to begin our two and a half hour journey home. The sun was shinning, it was a beautiful day in Connecticut. The windows were down and a cool breeze was blowing on our faces. I sat in front because I was older and called it first. I hung my arm out of the car window so I could feel the combination of the sun and wind against my skin. There was something so freeing and calming about that feeling.

I still remember the exact moment my life changed forever. As we were driving down the road, radio on, sun shinning, I suddenly saw this big bright, golden light to my right. The warmth on my arm grew warmer, as I saw the golden light take the shape of an angel. Being just a seven year old little girl, I wasn't sure of what I was seeing. I rubbed my eyes and looked at it again. My eyes were laser focused on the angel with big, beautiful white wings I saw gliding along the side of our car. Suddenly, as the shape was passing by I heard the words, "Daddy's gone to the angels." As quickly as the angel appeared, it was gone. I turned to my uncle and asked, "Did you see that?" "See what", he responded. I just turned to him with tears in my eyes and said, "Did my daddy die?" Uncle J didn't answer me, instead he quickly changed the subject and said, "How about some ice cream? Do you guys want some ice cream?" Of course my little brother and I were screaming, "Yes! Yes please, ice cream, ice cream!" Ice cream it was. We stopped at an ice cream shop and ate the biggest sundaes our stomachs could handle. I can still taste the strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce and marshmallow on top. We never did speak of our dad the whole rest of the way home.

Within an hour we were pulling up to our house. There were so many cars parked in and around our home. I asked my uncle why there were so many cars and he said my mom was having a house warming. We joyfully skipped through the front door, mom was sitting there happy to see us but something seemed wrong. There were many adults roaming around the house talking and eating food. Some were crying. Not quite what you would expect at a house warming party. Mom sent us to our rooms to unpack and freshen up. After everyone left the house, except our uncle, mom pulled my brother and me on to her lap and said, "Daddy's gone to the angels". I said, "I know mommy, the angel told me." She looked puzzled but in that moment, the angel that had passed me by had already given me peace and the knowledge that our dad was in heaven and had no more pain from the cancer. I didn't even cry because I had this indescribable feeling of calm and peace inside of me. I just knew he was at peace.

That experience changed my whole perspective on life and death. Eventually I cried because I missed my father so much but I now had what most people call 'blind faith'. I couldn't explain it but I felt confident that God had sent that angel to comfort me and prepare me for my father's death. In that moment, I realized that the most simple acts can cause the biggest impacts. Some people might have just blown off that experience. They may have tried to find a scientific reason why that message came to them, but I took it as a sign that there is life after death.

Now as I go through life, I give gratitude for all of life's little blessings. We often go through our daily routines oblivious to subtle signs and messages that cross our paths every day. We ignore red flags and even positive messages that might come to us in abnormal forms. I choose to go through life with an open mind and with the mindset that all of life is a lesson. It's up to us how we utilize those lessons.

That day when the warmth passed by me and the words whispered in the wind, my mind and soul changed forever. I felt that I was blessed to experience such a glorious message that allowed me to embrace peace and faith. Don't take little signs for granted. Remember, there is always a message somewhere.

Written by: Sue McGaughey