A Mother's Love Doesn't End When They Stop Breathing

For my Mom who is by no means resting but having a grand ol’ time:

Mother is first one seen by first eyes open. First teacher. First doctor and nurse. First warrior. First heartbeat. First hand held.

My one and only Mommy, you are lessons, laughter, and love wrapped up in a light so magnificently brilliant that it will always keep shining. Thank you. I am forever grateful to you for allowing me to be a part of your world by giving me life and taking care of me before I was aware of my own existence.

Life threw boys everywhere in our family for a while, so I applaud your patience for putting up with a football-playing, cricket-loving, fishing off the rocks, always running after the boys yet quiet wildcard daughter. I appreciate you for ensuring that there were dresses in the closet, dolls in the toy box, and protection for a special flower sweetness heart-huge that only little girls can hold.

All the Brownie troops, Girl Guides, and camping trips to Ports, Darrell’s and White’s Island that you loved, replete with spiders at night that I knew that you didn’t, certainly made growing up memorable.

You fed my thirst for knowledge and insatiable curiosity, and under your wings, I became a bookworm before I even knew what one was. You let me bring a book from home to read to the class on my first day of school and made sure all of your children knew their way to the Junior Library. The Tell Me Why books, the full set of encyclopedias at home; the push always came first from you, silently and unapologetically. All of your children were and are academically on point; you made sure of that.

I remember your trip that day that to the local television studio, advocating the broadcasting of the Sesame Street programme for children here after having seen it abroad. Not long after, it aired and became one of our favourite TV shows.

As children, we were glued to the set when you found the 'Island Treasure Hunt Key' and went on television to claim your prize. Such a go-getter and an adventurous spirit. I lost count of the occasions you had taken helping to make me brave even when I did not want to be.

Mommy to me you were fearless. I watched you make change, leaving your mark on the world with a life well-lived and soaked memories deep in love.

The safety and simplicity of growing up in Pembroke Park contained the quintessential components of childhood so many dreamed of having. You always put your children first. We knew unconditional love surrounded us on all sides and cracked out behinds when we got out of line. You kept us all in joyous rapture.

We did not understand it completely at the time, but you ensured that all of your children were able to travel whilst very young. It was important to you that we learned that there was a whole world out there in existence for us to discover. I will forever cherish our “girls only” trip with you, me, and Aunt Marlene to Atlanta one year, with cheek-aching smiles in abundance from how much fun we had.

Daughter. Sister. Wife. Mother. Phenomenal Baker. World Traveler. Christian. Entrepreneur. Bookkeeper. Driving Instructor. Auntie. Godma. Confidante. Family Rock. There is so much of you that cannot be quantified or qualified. The immensity of your character spills uncontained over countless experiences during a combined life’s journey. From showing me how to bake first recipes to comforting my sense of loss and homesickness when away in school. Your inner spirit is pure vibrancy. I never saw you demonstrate defeat.

A vital lesson to me from you concerned reading the fine print and persistence. After receiving one of many University rejection letters, as I gave in to despair, you read the letter and suggested a strategic counterproposal. With this guidance, I got into that University and no one cheered louder than you at my graduation ceremony.

By your ever-present examples, you made it perfectly clear that it was completely acceptable to be thunderously loud; often when watching a hilarious scene on The Jeffersons, Good Times, or What’s Happening when your side-splitting laughter reverberated throughout the house in Hillview Estate making it the happiest of homes. It was also warranted when the best team; Somerset, took a wicket or hit a six at Cupmatch. And an absolute necessity when opposing unjust treatment, especially when feeling apprehensive, as it heated internal fires of zeal and alerted others to your cause.

One of your most admirable traits was your decisiveness. Not the wishy-washy type, you authoritatively named the family cats; first Nincom (short for Nincompoop) and then F.C. (an acronym for Full-ish Cat, read Foolish Cat), when we, as children, took too long to make up our minds.

Your daily and weekly chore rota ran our home like a well-oiled machine and as much as I inwardly groaned then, I would now, in my adulthood, truly relish the yearly cleaning of the cupboards or the preparation for Christmas baking if I could do them with you just one more time.

When tasks seemed insurmountable, you would say things like, “More hands make lighter work.” Expressions that you used often were indelibly imprinted:

“Do it right the first time and you won’t have to do it over.”

“Shake it and move it!”

“Easy is better than hard.”

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other.”

“Poop-a-tocky!” (A personal favourite as profanity was never used in our home.)

“Not all closed eyes are sleeping eyes.”

And one of your staples:

“If you’re not gonna listen, then you’re gonna FEEL!”

Your sharp wit and wisdom kept us together and strong, ensuring we each understood the importance of love and support of family as paramount, in addition to maintaining lifelong friendships.

Extended family get-togethers and dinners were an essential part of life, and we had LOTS of life. You loved company, childhood friends. and meeting new people. Always the hostess with a warm, open home and lots of hugs and kisses, you were in your element then as I know that you are in your element now.

Those who truly know you understand that you are NOT resting but thoroughly enjoying yourself. Outside of this plane of existence and free of mortal restrictions, you are having the best time, loving on Daddy, and catching up with long lost family and friends.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a Mother’s love doesn’t end when they stop breathing. Mama love is eternal. As much as I miss you and grieve over the circumstances of your transition, I am also exuberant that you have earned this infinite sea of good times. And since you enjoyed hearing this phrase so much as a child from your maternal Grandmother, and there are far-reaching ranks with you now having fun way past the rafters, I say just as Mama Sirah did back then, “Now run along laughing and don’t fall down!”

Love you to and through life Mommy.

Always your one and only,

Nell