A Letter to My Mom

Sometimes it’s hard to explain to other people how amazing my mom is. I could sit for hours, days, or even months, going over every single example of why she made my life amazing, and still does to this day. I have a very long (33 years) timeline full of laughter, love, and sad moments that really impacted my childhood for the better. It was ALL because of her. To clarify though, I still give props to my dad because he also has made a big impact on my childhood and young adulthood… but we aren’t talking about him right now, we are talking about my amazing mother. Let’s share a few examples of the life lessons that she bestowed in me.

Cancer… it all started with Cancer

I was around 7 or 8 when my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. To be honest, I don’t remember what it was like when she had the surgery, or went through the treatments. A big part of me believes that was on purpose; me not remembering. I think that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t want my son to see me sick and tired all the time. My mom is amazing because she went through all the challenges of beating cancer, while still working and taking care of her kids. She never gave up, and that’s one of the reasons why she beat it. Cancer can’t dominate a woman like that, but she also caught it early since it runs in our family. If she taught me anything from this chapter in our lives, is that even the most life-threatening situations can turn out okay. I know that not everyone is that lucky with Cancer, but I’m thankful every day that she was able to get through it. I'll keep that with me; your best chance at getting through challenges on the winning end is to face them head on.

“Get Out of Bed Now, Or Else You’ll Talk Yourself Out Of It”

A famous quote from my wonderful mother. She’s been giving me this advice ever since I was in middle school. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s, I struggled with wanting to go to school. Every morning I would just lay in bed and dread the idea of getting up. My mom always knew how much I hated school, but like most other things, we have to do what we have to do. So her method was always to just GET UP, and GET MOVING. Don’t think, don’t waste time, don’t past go, don’t collect $200.00. Words I’ve been living by ever since. It was that mindset that got me my first car, job interview, apartment, and life changing events. Just do it; and because I did, I got the success she always said I would.

Just go to work...

This woman, this AMAZING woman, has been working for decades. Not only has she been working, but she's worked some pretty not-so-great jobs to make ends meet. While there are masses of people that treat jobs like it's an option these days, she's been working or doing something productive pretty much her entire life. She was a child of the sixties, so you know the job mentality started early in those days. So she worked...she worked and worked and worked and worked.

Even with cancer, she wouldn't call out. I think she only missed one day and that was because she was in the deep part of chemo and it was hitting her really hard. So that was her; she was always working, for the good of us. Then, she was also going to school, and work. More and more just piled on and that's what we learned. My sisters and I learned that working is a requirement of life. She just did an even better job making sure we knew that we could at least choose our profession. I wish more people these days learned from her, and treated life the way she does. You need to work, to support the ones you love, and to also succeed for yourself. It's what builds your self-worth, and because of her, I'm worth a lot.

Minor Set-Backs Aren’t the End of the World

A few years ago, my mom was laid off from her job. It was unjust, and unfair, but they did it anyway. That’s when everything, at least in my eyes, started to fall apart. Without her income, I was worried about a lot of things I didn’t have the means to help her with: Mortgage, Bills, Food, ect. I wish I could help but I was always broke. When visiting her on Sundays, I could see in her eyes that things were hard, but she would always say “its okay.” But it’s not okay! My mom, who has been helping me without questions asked for years is now facing her own struggles and it’s just “okay”?? But that was just her. Everything was always “okay,” and “aint no thang,” and my favorite “it’s all good.”

Now granted, my mom had a great game face, and swag in her dialect, but I was still scared for her.... a lot. But even if and when she was scared, she didn’t show it. That’s one of the biggest things she’s taught me, that I still can’t do myself, but hope I can someday. To be able to face a situation that could cause the most important things to be taken away from you at any time, is terrifying, but she did it. Not only did she DO IT, but when she got her job back, and all her back pay, the first thing she asked me was how she could help someone else that wasn’t so lucky. She had everything taken away from her for the past year, and the first thing she wants to do the minute everything is better, is to help someone else. I’ve NEVER seen someone so robotically selfless in my life. Which brings me to the biggest lesson she’s taught me….. Integrity.

Integrity

How do you define integrity? Is it the act of being honest with yourself when you make a mistake? Is it owning up to mistakes when people are looking for the truth? Is it in your work that you do? There are so many ways to show integrity, but it’s not that common to see someone so naturally honest and hardworking then my mom. Here’s a few examples:

She’s a union rep: She may be a union rep, but when her client makes a mistake, she will NOT hesitate to tell them, “Hey man, you messed up and you will probably face the consequences.” Over the years, other jobs will say that unions are EVIL and they will manipulate you, but even if that was true, my mom would be the only one left in the bunch that would tell it how it is, no more and no less.

Feeding the Homeless: We live in Las Vegas, and there’s a big section in downtown that could use all the help we can offer. Every Christmas time, we would pack as many lunches as possible and go give bagged lunches to as many people as possible in the rough areas. All my mom wants to do is lend a hand during the holidays when other people are struggling. She won’t ask for recognition or anything in return.

Family: My mom has 5 daughters. Yes, that means I have 4 sisters. We are strangely all very similar, yet different too. We all need a different type of relationship with our mom and she does a damn fine job keeping our conversations separate. Other families tend to “whisper” the struggles of other siblings, cousins, aunts, ect. People think it’s harmless because we are all family. Well, you can tell a secret to my mom and it’s going deeper to the grave. She can pretty much build a time machine and hid the secret in a vault from 10 years ago. That’s pretty much how safe your issues are when you talk with her.

Again, I’ve never met or known someone as honest as her. I probably won’t ever know anyone that honest. But that’s okay, because I get my honesty from HER.

Too Many To List, So Let’s Wrap This Up

My mom is amazing, beautiful, strong, empathetic, honest, direct, and most of all….. My hero. No one will ever be able to live up to what she achieved, and I see her in a lot of things I do. I say “I am my mother’s daughter” to myself a lot, but I’m also “her.” I am my mother. She’s left a piece of her soul in me that I can take and use to stay as honest and hard working as she is. She’ll always be the best of me, and the best of my sisters. I know that someone like her can live forever (spiritually speaking) because there is a piece of her in all of us.

All the good, and all the bad.

WE are HER, and she is us.

Forever <3