3 Tips for Defeating the Family Town Crier

We've all got one, and we've all heard one.

You know those family members that know, or think they know, everything that's going on in everyone's lives? The ones who will tell you all about your cousin's experience of 'becoming a woman' even if you've said that you don't want to know? The ones who have an opinion on everyone else's lives but do very little with their own?

I've got one. Actually, I have two or three, and I call these people 'The Family Town Criers'.

'Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Connie visited her Father's grave last week. I mean, he died over 20 years ago! Doesn't she realise that it's just a grave? Visiting him won't bring him back. She needs to stop living in the past and move on... Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Joey got into trade school to become a plumber. It's probably because he got caught up with that tart in high school and his grades suffered. She ruined his life! It was a good thing he got rid of her but too late for University. Silly boy!'

Er. Me. Gerd. It's painful.

The whole time I'm on the phone listening, a mix of emotions fill me.

I ask myself, "Why did I answer the phone call? Why do I have to listen to this shit? What's wrong with Connie remembering her Dad? I hope she's okay. Why does it even matter that Joey didn't go to University? Is he happy? Maybe he wants to be a plumber?

I really should save her phone number so I can get caller ID activated on her ass. When will she take a breath so I can get off this call?"

These life-sucking one-sided conversations have been going on since I was a child. I've tried setting boundaries and refusing to talk about specific topics with them, but it only makes them work overtime. It gets to the point where you feel harassed and violated.

However, in recent weeks, I figured out how to stop them in their tracks and have them move onto other pastures. So here are my three steps to keeping the family town criers off your back without cutting your ties completely.

1. Stop caring about what they might know (or think they know)

I cannot control their opinion or interpretation of my life, entirely derived from social media. So, who cares if they want to analyse my life and put their own twist on it? It's just one person's opinion, and it's usually very wrong.

2. Tell stories

I love this one! A few weeks back, I answered the call in an attempt to keep them off another family member's case as they were going through something massive and didn't need their drama to weigh in.

As they attempted to get info out of me about this other family member, I spun a tall story in an attempt to dangle another shiny object in their face and BAM! They forgot what they had called about and began fussing over a story that was only half true but equally dramatic and exciting for them. It was so much fun!

Do I care that they're now spinning shit about me to others? Nope! (See point number one).

3. Answer their calls when you feel up to it.

Save their phone number in your phone, so it activates caller ID. Only ever answer their calls if you feel up to it. If you only feel up to it once a year, then so be it. Don't feel guilty about it. Accept that you are never going to change them. All you can do is change how you engage with them. Protect yourself.

Have you got a family town crier? What's your tip on how to 'manage' them?