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2 Year Marriage

Now What

By Lashonte BevelPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
Terrible two's

Me and my husband have been married for two years and been together for four years. Before we got married we did marriage counseling and everything seemed like we were going to be a perfect match together. Everything was so good when we were dating and even better when we got engaged. But when we said I DO it was the happiest day of our life. So our first year things started to become a problem like parenting. I came into the marriage with 4 children 3 of them older then his son and one was younger. So we had to do some compromising. My husband and his only son had a selfish side to them because it has been the two of them for a long time. Most people were shocked we were even getting married because they said he seemed like he was not the marrying type. But another thing we had a problem with in our marriage was controlling problems. He wanted our family to follow his every step and what he say about everything we do. But eventually we had a conversation and now we are better because he had to learn that my opinion matters as well and in order to make our marriage work.

Compromising my husband is not all to blame for our rocky two years I had a hard time learning how to be submissive. Most woman when we get married were strong single moms so we haven't learned how to turn down that super strong independent woman. At first I would kind of belittle my husband because I was a stronger person then him in education. At first my sarcastic attitude was fine but then it started to rock our marriage. So then I had tone it down a lot and read a couple of marriage books that helped me get a better understanding because this is our first marriage. When you are use to do everything on your own sometimes it can be hard to allow a man to actually be a man. You have to put your pride aside and be beside your husband and not be little him but build each other up.

I didn't realize after having our first daughter together how things would change. For instance our daughter does not take a bottle our pacifier so breastfeeding took a lot of time away from being intimate. Especially because she uses me as a pacifier so if I move she is instantly waking up. Our marriage became rocky again and my husband was not understanding at all. Because our intimacy changed from everyday to nonexistent. This is a life happens expectantly type of thing and you just have to roll with the punches. Things got better when she turned 6 months old. It was rocky but my husband had to learn to have patience into we can get back to our regular intimacy place again.

Me and my husband have this jar we keep were we put five cents in every time we argue, curse, or say something mean to each other. So far we have been doing it for about 3 weeks now and we have not had many arguments and he even learned how to change his profanity. Which I never thought I would see the day. But this is just an exercise to help work on our marriage, which is working so far because we needed to learn how to talk to each other a lot better. We learned that there are some strategies and tools we can use to help with our marriage.

Turning I's into Us this one was a really hard one to work one. For both of us in the beginning but I adjusted to us really quick it took a little longer for my husband but he got the message. That was another thing that would cause arguments not willing to share and be selfless. Now some people don't understand that how in a marriage some of the simplest things turn into a argument. So now we have to take a minute to pull our self's together and you no the word compromise.

In laws can be the biggest problems in your marriage. I had to teach my husband to feed from a long handle spoon. He use to tell his mom everything that was going on because she is noisy. But then he didn't no he was putting a bad taste in her mouth about me and causing her to make things worse. So after I sat down with him and had a conversation with him we came to an agreement to keep my mom and his mom out of our marriages. In laws can be the worse critics because they always want to put their in put into in our marriage. One thing I learned is keep it between you and your husband outsiders can bring more damage to your marriage then good.

married

About the Creator

Lashonte Bevel

I am a children's book Author, Wife, Mother, Entrepreneur.

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    Lashonte BevelWritten by Lashonte Bevel

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