Picture this, a college student with nothing to lose. She does not procrastinate. She is a lighthearted soul that can do no wrong. The definition of who we are expected to become. Who I wish I was. But I sit here writing this essay, a great example of one of the seven deadly sins: Sloth. I knew this essay was due on that Friday. Yet here I am, the day it is due, typing this out as if nothing is wrong. Everything is wrong. It is a societal norm of a college student to procrastinate. Statements such as, “If the due date is not tomorrow, today is not the do date,” or my personal favorite, “Cs get degrees,” as if that is any better than doing your work the first time.
I recognize sloth and gluttony as a big part of my being. Sloth is also mentioned above, but there is more to it for me—rather than just procrastinating. Classes that are not mandatory, as in the teachers do not take attendance, have become a problem for me. When school first started I was a good student. I would always go to my classes and do my work, but now it is hard to do anything! I've become so afraid of doing something wrong I would rather not turn it in. I started skipping those classes and it was impossible for me to get up and get the courage to go to them. I do not want to say I stopped doing my work, but I stopped doing my work. Sometimes I do the work, but then just never upload it to Blackboard because I feel it is not good enough. In this case, I do not know if it is the sloth in me talking or my depression.
Another sin that I am guilty of is gluttony. I drink alcohol, as many college students do. I will drink just because I can. It is expected of a college student to drink and party, and most abuse that situation. Although it is not as much as some of the students out there, it is enough to make me act like a grumpy toddler and fall into pools. Not in a blackout drunk way, but more of a... if I get pulled over I’m definitely going to court. I occasionally will eat in class, but I really do not like eating in front of people, so that is a rare situation when it occurs.
From what I have noticed, people in my other classes also have sloth, envy, and pride. They get mad at those who put in the work and get good grades, while they sit there and procrastinate, wondering why they are failing. Everyone is prideful. It is in our human nature to believe we are going to be better than the last generation. It is instilled in our brains that in order to advance in the world, we have to be better than our predecessors.
Over the course of the semester I have learned that everything is going to happen for a reason. If it is in my nature to be a procrastinator and skip classes, obviously there is a reason for that. Maybe one of the reasons is my fear of failure. It will change how I act and if I get over that, I would actually do my work. Maybe I am not meant for school. This is still something I need to learn about myself over the upcoming semesters. Eventually everything works out in the end. I have also learned that you can gain more sins as the year goes on. I cannot comment too much, yet because the semester is still going on, and even though there is only two weeks left, anything can change.
For my college career, I cannot comment on that either, just because I barely finished one semester of my first year. I do hope that I can rid myself of my sloth. I need to get my mind out of the gutter, to actually do the most I can do. It is easy for me to skip class and not feel bad, but when I actually go to class it is hard for me to focus on anything.
I have learned from my college professors that they're all just like us students. I have had teachers explain their nights to us, how they drank until they blacked out. Although, as funny as it is to have a teacher tell us how drunk they got, we are in a place to learn, not a place to compare drunk stories. Some of my teachers are also prideful, and believe that because they already finished school and have full-time jobs that they are the best in the world. And in their family or life, they could definitely be the best, but in here, right now, they are not.
I recognize sloth and gluttony as a big part of my being. Of course I have aspects of the different types of the seven sins, but they do not impact my life as much as sloth and gluttony. I wish I could change how I am. Mainly, I wish I could change the sloth in me and take it out of my life. If I did not procrastinate, if I did not skip my classes, or even if I just had an ounce of motivation, I know for a fact I would be a better student. I do not think that I would change the gluttonous side of me, but I am only saying that because I like my fun stupid adventures when my friends and I drink.