HOW TO SPEAK AND PEOPLE LISTEN

THE HUMAN VOICE:It's the instrument we all play.It is one of the most powerful sound in the world.It's the only one that can start a war or say "I love you."And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don't listen to them.You might ask why?

How can we speak and get others to listen to us?How can we speak powerfully to create that change in the universe?

There are a number of habits that we need to move away from.I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking.

First,GOSSIP

Speaking ill of somebody who is not present.this is not a nice habit and we both know that the person gossiping , will later gossip about us.

Second, JUDGING

We know people who are like this in conversation and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged by them

Third,NEGATIVITY

It's hard to listen when one is full of negativity. All they see and speak is the bad side or the wrong side. And another form of negativity,is complaining.some of us we complain about everything, the weather, our looks,settings.It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

EXCUSES

We've all met this guy.Maybe we've all been this guy.Some people have a blame-thrower.They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility for their actions. It’s hard to listen to someone like that.

sixth, EXAGGERATING

It demeans our language, For example, if I see something that really is awesome, and I say it is not, it is demeaning and people won’t like to listen to such a person , because then they might think that you mock them.And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying,and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

Seventh: DOGMATISM

The confusion of facts with opinions.When somebody is firing or bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true.It's difficult to listen to that.So here are the seven sins to avoid when speaking. And sin we all need to avoid.

I will like to show you Four powerful solid rock foundation that we can stand on if we want our speech to come out powerful, straightforward and strong.

I summarized it in a word “HAIL

By this I mean to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things.So what do they stand for?

The H, stands for HONESTY

being true in what you say, being straight and clear.

The A is AUTHENTICITY,

this refers to just being yourself.A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth,

The I is INTEGRITY,

this means to actually do what you say,and being somebody people can trust.

And the L is LOVE

I don't mean romantic love,but I do mean wishing people well, if you're really wishing somebody well,It's hard to judge them at the same time

Also speaking is all about the way that you say it. We have a toolbox.This instrument is incredible,and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened.

REGISTER for example if I talk up here in my nose,you can hear the difference.If I go down here in my throat,which is where most of us speak from most of the time.But if you want weight,you need to go down here to the chest.You hear the difference?That's register.

Then we have TIMBRE

It’s the way your voice feels.Again, the research shows,that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm.

And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture, and with exercises that improve the timbre of your voice.

Then PROSODY.

This is the sing-song, that we use in order to impact meaning.People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to. They lack prosody.That's where the word "monotonic" comes in.

The next is PACE.

I can get very excited by saying something really quickly,or I can slow right down to emphasize.

and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk.We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs.It can be very powerful.Of course, pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch.

And finally, volume.

Some people broadcast the whole time.Try not to do that.That's called sodcasting,Imposing your sound on people is not nice .

Of course, this all comes into play most of all is when you've got something really important to do.It might be standing on a stage and giving a talk to people.It might be proposing marriage,asking for a raise, a wedding speech.

what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound?

That would be a world that does sound beautiful,and one where understanding would be the norm,and that is an idea worth spreading.

Thank you.

Mba Peace Ifeoma