How not to take things personally?

Good evening, everyone! How are you all doing? Welcome to this match, which will last exactly 18 minutes. You're all part of the same team tonight: Team Mechelen. Before we begin, I want to emphasize the importance of fair play, respect, and positivity on the field. Is that clear to everyone? Fantastic! Best of luck to all of you!

One year ago, I made a decision to become a football referee. It wasn't for the money – I only earn 20 euros per match, so I won't be getting rich from it. Instead, I had two other reasons for becoming a referee. First, I wanted to stay in good physical shape. Second, and more importantly, I wanted to learn how not to take things personally.

Taking things personally has always been a challenge for me. Whether it's someone tailgating me while driving, a last-minute cancellation of plans, or a distracted audience member during my speeches, I often find myself feeling offended or hurt. And I'm sure many of you can relate to similar experiences in your own lives.

So why do we take things personally? It's often our ego speaking – the part of us that seeks validation and approval from others. We feel hurt or offended when someone's words or actions don't align with what we want or expect.

But what if we shifted our perspective? What if we looked at situations from the other person's point of view? This is where the first strategy comes in: "It's not about me." Instead of assuming that someone's behavior is a direct reflection of us, we can consider alternative explanations. Maybe they're having a bad day, or they have different priorities, or they simply didn't realize how their actions might affect us.

Of course, applying this strategy isn't always easy. Our brains are wired to focus on the negative, and it takes effort to reframe our thoughts and interpretations. That's why I see refereeing as a form of mental training – an opportunity to practice not taking things personally in a controlled environment.

But what happens when this first strategy doesn't work? What if we still feel hurt or offended despite our efforts to rationalize the situation? In these cases, it's important to consider the flip side of the coin: "It is about me."

This second strategy involves introspection and self-reflection. Instead of dismissing criticism or negative feedback, we can use it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. Maybe there's some truth to what the other person is saying, and maybe it's touching on insecurities or unresolved issues from our past.

Acknowledging our vulnerabilities and communicating them openly can lead to deeper understanding and connection with others. By expressing our feelings without blaming or accusing, we invite empathy and compassion into our interactions.

In conclusion, learning how not to take things personally requires a combination of empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. Whether it's reminding ourselves that "It's not about me" or exploring why something might be triggering for us, we have the power to choose how we respond to challenging situations.

Imagine if we all adopted these strategies in our daily lives. Imagine the positive impact it could have on our relationships and interactions with others. By prioritizing empathy and understanding, we can create a more compassionate and harmonious world.

And remember, regardless of what others say or do, your worth and value remain unchanged. Thank you.