The Random Pear Tree

Taking up a challenge from Matthew McCahey to enter something bloody quickly into the Pear Tree Challenge.

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Can it be done?

I seriously doubt it because I am not a very good writer and easily run out of ideas. I Have no music playing and it is late at night.

So we need to talk about pears , and they come from pear trees.

I used to like Williams pears and always gave conference pears a miss because they looked so grubby and horrible but at the start of COVID I ordered a food pack from Grainger Delivery and there amid the turnips and potatoes was a bag of conference pears , hard as hell and as unappetising as you would like. They ripened and when I finally tried , one bit into that soft yielding sweet flesh , I was hooked, they tasted gorgeous..

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So conference pears look ugly but taste delicious , they say never judge a book by the cover , well never judge a fruit by how it looks but by how it tastes. You could say the same about people.

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It seems part of my filthy writing is seeping into this which I am trying to keep focused on a pear tree or too , or a pair of pear trees, saying that for a little alliteration , just because I am allowed to.

This is becoming very stream of consciousness , there is no story here just random observations .

If you are waiting for something to happen it's like Vladimir and Estragon waiting for Godot except this time they are waiting for a pear tree and as pear trees do not move (except in fantasy) the pear tree will never come and they will starve.

Pink Floyd’s first two albums “The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn” (which borrows its name from the title of chapter seven of Kenneth Grahame's 1908 novel The Wind in the Willows, which refers to the nature god Pan, who plays his pan pipes at dawn. ) and “A Saucerful of Secrets” were packaged tiger and sold as “A Nice Pair” with exposed female breasts juxtaposed with a crossed out pear to explicitly define what kind of pair (not pear ) was on show.

I maybe should have done this as a poem (Partridges and Pear Trees abound) so I won't go in that direction although I could include a haiku. Haiku’s are dead easy three lines , five syllables , seven syllables , five syllables , John Cooper-Clarke’s is brilliant. All his poems are here

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To-con-vey one’s mood

In sev-en-teen syll-able-s

Is ve-ry dif-fic

So a challenge for a haiku about a pear tree

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Williams Pears Were

The Bees Knees of The Pear Trees

Conference Now Mine

I know which one is best but this is what happens writing on the fly.

To do this I am always influenced by Bob Dylan’s “TaraNtula” and Dylan Thomas’s “Under Milk Wood” and I am sure they both contain references to Pear Trees or at least Pears or Trees

I live in Fenham and we have a pocket park and it has fruit trees but they are bitter apples and there is not a pear tree in sight, unless one of the fruitless ones is and somebody stole all the fruit.

I am diabetic and was once told by a nurse I should not eat fruit and stick to a diet of celery and turnips. I ignored her of course.

No pears ? No Pears ?

No way I say.

So thank nature , Gaia , and Mother Earth for Pear trees without them our dies would be certainly less interesting and in a tangential way this allows us to share “Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth” with you by Ron and Russell Mael , the fabulous Sparks.