The gift that keeps on giving

Would you believe me if I told you that mind-reading is not so much of a supernatural ability as everyone perceives it to be?

When we think of mind-reading, we often remember our favorite TV shows, where characters effortlessly discern the thoughts of those around them without using any normal means of communication. Charmed fans, anyone? I can honestly admit that after hours of binge-watching my three favorite witches raise hell (literally), the 7-year old me would meditate in my room and channel my inner psychic powers to use on my unsuspecting family members. I cannot recall much (or any) of my success back then, but the feeling of importance I got from believing I could read people so closely followed me into my adulthood in the form of psychological enthusiasm. I acquired a deep love for communication which brought me closer to understanding these human beings I was surrounded by.

As I got older I explored the definition of “normal communication”, comparing all the different ways we relay information to each other on a daily basis. We talk to each other, adjusting the tone and levels of our voice to convey a message. Sometimes our bodies do the talking, as our emotions give way to physical signs. Other times, showing a visual example is the only way to get the point across, and then of course there is my favorite way…the magic of writing. A careful (or careless and unapologetic) craft that carries the power to express the biggest and smallest of thoughts and ideas.

So hey, great. Now we should all be experts at understanding each other's needs and wants right? Wrong. So catastrophically wrong. We have now only scratched the surface of prosperous human communication. This is the reason why we all still swim in a giant pool of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, disregard, and dismissal. Ok, that went a little dark but aside from the morbid metaphor, the main issue is that our common forms of interaction do not always deliver all the information we need. We still don’t know what the other person wants sometimes. Take something as simple as coming up with a gift for a special occasion. Some of us love the idea of mentally picking someone else’s brain to siphon that secret answer to one of the world’s greatest questions; “What do you want?”

“I don’t know.” Ah, could have seen that coming from a mile away.

Now what?

I believe aside from the “normal means”, there are hundreds of underlying methods to give and get information. Surprisingly, people give away more facts about themselves when they are not trying to.

I remember one year, my father’s birthday was coming up. My dad and I have a pretty decent relationship and we are fairly close but we don’t have heart-to-hearts or hang out for hours sharing details about our personal lives and interests. He is not much of a talker and I don’t push. For that particular reason, I have always struggled to find him a heartfelt gift that he would really enjoy. See, for me, gift-giving isn’t about spending a chunk of money on the latest and greatest “toy” that’s circulating the trend charts of social media. It’s about a sincere attempt to dig deep and find something that’s going to strike a nerve.

I knew that the only possible way to read his mind was to open him up like a book, cuddle up with a cup of hot cocoa and start flipping the pages. If normal means of communicating weren’t his strongest suit, it was up to me to put forth those underlying methods and do some digging. For the next few weeks, I spent a little more time at my parent’s house, bringing my son over to play and helping with the building of their new gazebo. As a life-long construction wizard and a handyman, my dad could design a blueprint of any project in his mind and erect it from leftover free materials he would snag from pretty much anywhere. This monument of a gazebo he was building was a beautiful sunshade paradise, with a table and 3 benches fitting snugly inside. I knew just by the look in his eyes, that this was his absolute passion, and doing things like these made him happy. I didn’t have to ask, he didn’t have to tell me. As we applied our third coat of wood stain, we brainstormed decoration ideas and planned a few family hangouts in the cool new backyard attraction. As he cracked open a beer and took a few steps back, I realized I had a lot of takeaways already and was ready to begin my work.

I started with a few creative basics; a string of decorative rattan globe string lights with Bluetooth speakers to hang along the perimeter of the gazebo. A power bank to bring the lights to life, a set of summer drinkware glasses, and various fun summer essentials. Top it off with some of his favorite snacks often found by the living room computer desk and the ensemble began coming to life. A few more hand-made elements of design and soon I was wrapping, cutting, folding, and arranging everything into my first ever custom gift basket, designed for my very own dad. It was quirky, mismatched and a little random, but it was definitely him. Every item in that basket represented an unspoken idea he had in his mind and wanted to fulfill. Its sole purpose was to uplift and inspire.

Needless to say, he loved it. After the family barbeque was over, we spent the evening hanging up the lights and playing geek squad with the less than user-friendly setup instructions. Overall it was a pretty cool father-daughter bonding experience.

Over the next few years, I continued to practice the custom gift basket idea. It became second nature when thinking of someone’s birthday because I wanted to give them the ultimate gifting experience. The more passionate I got about creating the perfect set of gifts, the more time I spent conducting my secret research. Sometimes I would be spot on, other times not so much, but I always enjoyed every second of it and had an amazing time. This process not only invited me to spend better quality time with the ones I love but exercised my intuition and that mystic ability to read one's mind. When you pay close attention to your friends and family, when you take the time to note and remember the things that make them happy, you start to realize that you no longer need to ask them what they want. You know. We spend so much time looking in the wrong direction that we miss valuable information that is in front of us most of the time.

I guess what I’m saying is, you don’t have to have supernatural abilities or come from a long line of witches to read people’s minds. What you do have to do, is put forth work into establishing good communication skills with the people you care about. My passion is both communication and victorious gift-giving and who wouldn'd agree that generally makes you a better human being.