Breaking Bad? No, Just Bad.

There was a period in time during which not having watched Breaking Bad felt like being an undercover witch in the heart of 17th Century Salem, Massachusetts. Colleagues, acquaintances, Facebook friends and drunks on public transport seemed to know instinctually that I had not watched it and made it their personal mission to impress upon me that this was a Good Show™, a masterpiece, an absolutely-must-watch-ground-breaking-so-much-going-for-it smoke show of a story.

So, as you can imagine, I finally got off my arse, or on it as the case may be, to watch it and the results? A yawning chasm of time I won't get back. I even watched the first two seasons again to give it a fair shake before writing this. Surprisingly, I found it to be funny, perfectly paced, and full of likeable characters I cared immensely about...

Ok, you got me, I'm lying through my teeth here. I fucking hate this show and I hate having to explain why to people so I'm going to do this one more time and turn the proverbial page for good.

The Whole Premise was Avoidable and Nonsensical

Ok, look, I get it; the point of Walter not taking the money offered by his old business partners for his treatment is supposed to show him as a proud man acting out of spite or to preserve his perceived dignity. It sets him up as someone who will make bad choices for personal reasons. I get it, I do... and I'm sure there are a few people who might actually take that option but the human mind is so dedicated to preserving its own life that it was a hard sell for me... You see, Walter White is nothing if not a selfish character by my estimation, and what's more he seemed to feel he was entitled to a part of the businesses success, as if the partnership he left cheated him of something.

I just didn't buy his refusal of the money. Hell, I half expected the first plot point to be him taking the money in secret to preserve his dignity. Part of me expected him to take the money and lose it, gamble it, or otherwise squander it in a way that cornered him into taking more drastic action.

So, maybe my dislike of the show is biased because I hated Walter from the jump. Don't get me wrong, Bryan Cranston is phenomenal in the show. Truly; only a great actor could make me want to throttle a person who doesn't exist quite so fully.

The Pacing was Abysmal

While I have it on good authority that the later seasons fix this issue, I just couldn't get by the dragging pace that made up so much of the first two seasons in my opinion. I don't think the intended 'slow descent' felt well done it was too slow and the descent really wasn't that dramatic because Walter was a really bad person from pretty early on.

I mean, yes, its a look at human nature and how respectable people can be driven to wildly unethical and immoral actions by desperation (I say respectable because I really don't think Walter was all that good to begin with)... but so much of it felt ham fisted to me.

The Second Season was Anticlimactic

Don't get me wrong, I preferred season two immensely. I got attached to Jesse and being invested in him really helped to keep me invested. Seeing Walter simply watch Jane die was utterly horrifying and it really did mark a new low for him that followed through on the shows premise of someone descending slowly but surely into a state of amoral, self-serving repugnance.

The problem was much simpler; the lynchpin of the season that was teased from the beginning just felt... lazy to me. Yes, it was the result of a domino effect, and yes it can be traced back to Walter... but it just didn't hit me the way the foreshadowing promised it would. It felt so random, so disconnected from what the initial teaser seemed to hint at.

Maybe that was the point; the twist in the tail designed to show that the consequences of Walters selfishness were very capable of rippling out much further than he could have imagined. But it didn't hit the right not for me and after watching that I never bothered to pick up the next season.

I Just Didn't Care About (Most of) the Characters

I think for me this is the real failing point for Breaking Bad: I'm a character focussed person. If I don't have some empathy for the characters even a really gripping story won't get me, and characters I really like or have empathy for have led me to stan some seriously low quality films and shows.

I had no empathy for Walter after he initially refused that money because from that point on he struck me not only as a selfish prick who was lying to himself about doing something bad because he had no other choice, but an idiot. And him being a complete moron really didn't gel with the persona of a meek high school science teacher who had previously proven his brilliance by being involved in, albeit for a brief period, the creation of such a successful enterprise... even if he did end up on the outside of it.

Skylar, well she made sense to me throughout the first two seasons; she seemed to react to Walters lies and strange behaviour in believable, if sometimes frustrating, ways... but when my friend told me she finds out he's literally cooking meth with an ex student of his in season three and ends up helping the whole operation I threw that in the bin too. It just doesn't make sense to me that someone as educated and intelligent as she's shown to be, someone who displays such a feisty, family oriented attitude would actively participate in that bullshit. If you told me she agreed to turn a blind eye, I could buy that after all she has a disabled child and a husband in need of expensive medical care... and in America... well, lets say even a re-mortgage might not cover some of those expenses.

I think for me, the character I invested in most was Hank, for what time we saw him, because it made absolute sense to me that he would underestimate Walter and he came across as a solid guy... but that wasn't really enough meat to bring me back to the table for the next instalment.

Credit Where its Due

Now, before you sharpen your pitchforks and light your torches I do have a few other things to say because I give credit where it's due. Breaking Bad wasn't for me, but there's no denying that visually it was impeccable and the premise itself was absolutely fantastic.

It did have solid dark comedy elements that I liked and there were times when I found myself getting to the edge of my seat.

Jesse was, for me, an essential part of the show; he was the emotional heart of it and I found myself empathising with him so deeply. He was the perfect foil, in my opinion, and an excellent representation of how a young person can be both dangerous and vulnerable, or even dangerous to themselves, and others, because of their vulnerability.

This was undeniably a ground breaking show, and there was a lot it did well... but as for the hype it got? For me it missed the mark on too many points and I wonder, in all honesty, if the almost rabid popularity it had was because it was so unusual? There was nothing like it, and there still isn't to my knowledge so it definitely can't be written off entirely.