Any advice in eeriness and how to induce a creep factor?

Dear Vocal Media Creators,

I struggle with creating a decent horror story. It's a shame, especially since spooky season is coming right up around the corner.

That being typed I was never really a fan of horror being that some things are better left buried. When it comes to horror, I have trouble with creating a sene of eeriness, a genuine creep factor. I want to be capable of writing something that send chills up the spines of the reader that makes the hairs of their goosebumps standing on end. Yet, just when they think they're going to be struck with a sudden, instantaneous shock, they're not, only to stricken by something worse within the plot's development.

Here, for my own recent example I have this:

"Perspective" is vital when it comes to the reader's perception of who Aidan's identity, and that of the test subjects, actually is. Hence, I never directly address whether or not Aidan is human, or an octopus. The thumbnail is of utmost importance in its dark shading as well. Believe it or not, I like to think that the thumbnail helps to set the theme of the story, and removes much of the explaining for me.

Now, why did I struggle with "Perspective?" I have a few reasons.

1. This is a microfiction story meant to be 250 words at its longest. If any of You have ever received a comment from me You know how much I'm a fan of detailed description. A lot of writers will mention that the devils are in the details. Thus, at times, I especially struggle with the "less is more" mindset. Especially since I want to add in so much, but I feel that my vocabulary struggles to do so. Either that, or I need hone the crafting of shorter scenes. Maybe the climax could already be occurring as the plot continue to build?

2. I didn't know which perspective I wanted to take this in based on Aidan's perspective, and I didn't want to write two separate stories. As I felt that would've been a cheap way to skate around this issue. I wanted to leave the audience guessing, questioning, and even slightly terrified as they tried to rationalize what was occurring. Was I being too greedy with trying to tell more than one story in this one story?

2.a. In one draft version, I had Aidan shoot out an his arm yelling in his head, "Get back, human!" In another draft version I wanted a octopus to meet Aidan out on deck, push its tenctles on the board to rise up to meet his eye level, and then use its chromatophores to disguise itself nearly perfectly as Aidan. In that same version I wouldn't know if Aidan would be a human, or an octopus disguising as a human only to have another octopus try to take his role in a theme of "it's a dog eat dog world." That means that one version could have Aidan being a human being torn apart by octopi. Another would have Aidan as an octopi, being torn apart by a group of humans that he's done inhumane experiments on, and the last group would be Aidan as an octopi being torn apart by other octopi (or it could just end with the one mimicking him, staring at him out on the deck). Yet, I wanted this to be one complete, composite story that would leave the audience biting their nails, and I just know that somebody out there could have done a much better job than I have with far fewer words.

3. I feel like I always set up a sense of calm before the storm, that I take too much time trying to world build even in a microfiction. Just mentioning the part where Aidan is relaxing, dining on garlic buttery crab feels like it might be extra but I feel like having that calmness removed helps to set the stage even more so. Yet, does the stage even need to be set and should I just roll on with the "LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!"

3.a. If You're asking, "Why does Aidan eat crab in the beginning of the story?" For the simple reason that crab and octopi both eat crab. Crab fishermen have been know to lose entire hauls of crabs in their crab traps due to octopi crawling in and out of their traps, feasting on the live crab. So, I wanted there to be similarity displayed between the nature of the octopi and humans.

4. Maybe I am focused too much on the potential realism aspect of it? In horror stories, shows, movies, there are tons of things that happen that should not naturally occur, and they are also things that cannot be reversed or undone. There is no return to a prior state of- pardon my language, unmolestation. Whether or not the acts are deemed violent, there are things that tend to happen to beings, places, and things that are irreversible that defy rational logic. Such things happen especially in genres such as bodily horror or demonic hauntings. Like an apple being disguised as a lightbulb that somebody was previously eating (I remember that from a commercial long ago) or the popping of a balloon only to have an organ violently rupturing. Maybe I need to let the irrational just occur as it pops into my mind. Yet, as an engineer, as a person who reads science articles, I feel like that goes against what should be done, but it is fear of the unknown that people truly do fear. You don't fear the dark, You fear what could be lurking in it with You.

Advancing forward, what stories have personally stuck with me that have this inherent creep factor?

I can list three for certain.

Apologies, spoilers ahead.

"The March Fairy"

written by Gina C. has a phenomenal creep factor. As I continued to read this story and looked back at Gina C.'s profile picture back and forth several times, I had to ask her, "Wait a minute, is this a self insert?" That little tidbit right there, that part brought "The March Fairy" from the fiction world to the real world. It was as if Gina herself was writing about a forbidden, locked, childhood memory that she only saw in a few rare glimpses, which made "The March Fairy" become ever more concrete.

When Gina was writing about the March Fairy's introduction the entire thing just gave me the willies since "This is a little kid, who is naïve, gullible, and desperate for friends... any friends (Oh, and attention)." Whether or not "The March Fairy" was a mental manifestation of Anna's own machinations, if a parent knew what was going on they'd be genuinely concerned till the point of paranoia for their kid.

As Gina C.'s profile page states "Free-Form poet of ethereal style. 🧚‍♀️✨" Ain't that the truth. The ethereal feel of this story sent so many chills through me that I was creeped out to my core. This is an old fairytale made modern that has not been rewritten for the safety of children. Old fairytales were meant to warn children. Why? Because all fairies aren't nice. Some of them, if not most of them, targeted children. Also, fairies don't have to be humans with wings. That's another thing that people tend to forget. Take a look at the nuckelavee for example. However, since "The March Fairy" looks human to deceive Annabelle into trusting her, that's one of its scarier aspects in my opinion. I remember reading something a while ago and it went along the lines of this, "Biblically accurate angels look like that to scare away demons. Demons look like us to lure us in."

Less I digress, the creep factor in this story keeps building throughout the entirety of the plot. That's how well composed it is.

Sorry Gina, I'm having difficulties embedding Your profile page's link currently. I just added it in here and it just turned invisible on me.

"Lost in the Woods"

written by Holly Pheni, I would say has a similar horror feel that is meant to warn children. Yes, even though this story has a happy ending there is a lot of darkness within it before things come to the light. The main character of this story is Grace Conner, but even as an adult she still feels helpless. Yet, the author, Holly Pheni, does to Grace Conner what most authors should do to their characters. Holly made Grace face the past and confront the truth.

Grace's childhood error kept haunting her. Especially since as a child she didn't know what to do, and how to solve the predicament that she ended up catching herself and her best friend, Eden, in. Eden makes constant appearances reminding Grace of their shared past. It's especially creepy since Eden hasn't aged like Grace. Thus maintaining the horror of "I was sacrificed so you could live."

As adults we like to think that children are easy to scare. Makes sense don't it? Children are smaller, not as strong, nor as smart as we are. Yet, children are also more accepting of what is truth and what is false from their own mindset. To a child anything can happen, and to an adult, what does happen should never be capable of happening in the first place.

With the ever present threat of her childhood rearing its ugly head at her, Grace even warns the children (just like in an old fairytale) with a nursery rhyme:

“If you find a mirror hiding in the woods,

Don’t look inside, you won’t see something good.

Never speak a word, never touch, never stay,

Just turn around and hurry! Run, run away!"

Even the description of the hat man is reminiscent of a few urban legends both old and new. Sure, one might imagine a more deranged version of "The Mad Hatter" from "Alice In Wonderland." Yet, as a person who grew up in the age of the internet the description, especially with the woods being its setting, reminds me of slenderman and even a few other creations from the likes of Trevor Henderson. When You factor in the white rabbit and how its used as bait to lure children in, the malicious intent is sensed from a mile away. Lowkey, I wonder if Holly scared herself writing this since she's a parent? If she did, then gosh darn, that's how You know she did a fantastic job.

"Vinyl"

written by Em Starr is a dark, romantic, horror story. For a short story is has quite the dramatic reveal. As Em Starr's lines continue down the length of the page more and more is revealed to the audience. For something that's labeled as a "3-minute read" I took more than ten minutes to digest this, let alone comment on it.

Let's creep to the creep. To build off one of the themes from "Lost in the Woods," "Vinyl" also has a theme about about letting go and the dangers of not doing so. With so few words, proper use of repetition, and the slow-burn that it is, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that Em Starr had crafted such a unique blend of horror.

One word prominently sticks out to me, "chasm." It's used elegantly and sparingly. Even without the story, this word already has a negative connotation. One thought of that word conjures up distance and a deep darkness that awaits below if one does not successfully cross it.

As we continue reading we're greeting with earthy elements. Before the end of the story, much like a "Vinyl," they come full circle much to the audience's shock and dismay. Stuck with a thirst for nostalgia, Kasey (hold up, is that a music pun? Like, Kasey for music cases?) listens to her and Aaron's song, stuck on a loop. Even after being brought out of it by Belinda, she desires to return to her trance. It's the hope, unveiling, denial, shattering reality, and return to hope once again that makes this story so creepy in such a harmonious way. After reading it, You could literally go back up to the top of the story and re-read it again. It's like when the giant caught Jack and so Jack told the giant a never-ending story, escaping once the giant fell asleep.

For so much to be packed in so little is sheerly astounding. It keeps me going back for more like a "Vinyl" on repeat.

I should really get back to finding out what I'm missing when it comes to a creep factor, cause this quickly turned into a story review. My apologies.

Those three stories that I have just mentioned have an excellent creep factor and all three of them are written by exceedingly talented writers. The sense of eeriness is so prevalent it's like an unknown entity breathing down the back of Your own neck while You're reading their works. It's as if the stories have come alive themselves. That's what it means when an author writes a story so well that it leaves a feeling of impact on the audience.

As the audience when You go looking for something to send a chill down Your spine what factors tend to grab a hold of You and seize You firmly in place?

As a reader have You ever read something so genuinely creepy that You felt like Your fight-or-flight response kick in? Did Your survival instincts suddenly get activated? Have You ever needed to just suddenly need to leave an area or be surrounded in the presence of others to remind Yourself that You're safe?

As an author, how do You instill creep factors and a sense of eeriness into Your own works?

When it comes to "Perspective" does it genuinely creep You out, or does it fall under a "Meh, just another sci-fi Cthulhu wanna-be?"

In "Perspective" what did work and what didn't work? What would You have changed? What did You like? What did You hate? How would You have written it? Hell, does the thumbnail even work for it? Does the title and subtitle work together?

What would be useful for increasing the intensity solidifying "Perspective" as a good horror story?

Maybe, just maybe, I'm asking a bit too much? Who knows? I sure don't. That's why I turned to You in the hopes of seeking help to write a better, creepier, more eerie, horror story.

Sincerely,

Thavien Yliaster