Seoul Searching

“Dad’s home Kimberlee!” Ahnjong cheered, looking through the peephole of the front door where terror awaited outside.

“Attic, NOW!” cried her Omma in hushed panic. The calm knocking at the door escalated to a banging. “LET US IN! LET US IN! WE WILL LET OURSELVES THROUGH.” Ahnjong Gwan gathered her child sobbing. She ran to the attic door, grabbed the string to snatch it open, tossed little Kimberlee into the attic, and cut the string. Ahnjong wept a prayer in Hangul. “WE WARNED YOU MORE THAN ONCE.”

The door shattered. Ahnjong fell to her knees, surrendering. “Are you aware squatting is illegal? We received reports of suspicious characters, possible aliens. Can you produce some identification for yourself? Is anyone else here?” Her mother rocked and wept. “Lady. Didn’t you hear me? Show proof of residency or I'm taking you in. Hello? Understand me? Do you even speak English?” he violently condescended. His task force invaded every niche of their home with flashlights and cameras. Their badges read “ICE Officer.”

Her father suddenly appeared, groceries in hand. “Sir, let me see your hands!” “ Why? What is this? We haven’t done anything wrong. I know you don’t have a warrant.” He looked at his badge. “Wait a minute, You're not even a real cop! Who called you?” He asked, stepping closer. The burly ICE officer drew a gun. “You’re not supposed to have that, dude. Look this can’t be serious, We were just going to make some dinner-” “Who else is here?” he Interrupted. “Huh? Nobody... seriously. Just me and her. Is it money you want?” He reaches for his wallet and the officer introduces him to an inevitable fate.

Ahnjong heaved in agony. “I NEED TO SEE I.D!” The officer belts again.

Kimberlee watched them execute her father from a eye-sized-hole. They handcuffed her mother and drug her from the family room.

The tears she collected bathed her during the years she spent in fear. All 15 years of her life were spent building this shelter. Should something happen, she was to wait for safety in the attic and never leave. Wait for her Archangels.

A bright white light awakens her. “hello?” She called. The door had been opened. A looming figure reached into the attic. She focused on a familiar woman. She’s fragile, yet with wise features. She spoke softly, comforting her. With little coaxing, Kimberlee crawled to her.

“What are you?” asked Kimberlee. “Are you like me?”

“Call me Niniane.” she bellowed, arms extended. “Niniane? That means-” “Sister? Yes. You’re not alone. Call me your sister.” Kimberlee embraced her and shared a moment of sorrow. “Does Omma come back? Where did they take her? I'm scared Niniane. Don’t you think they’ll come back for me or you?” Kimberlee questions. “You and Omma are different. You’re a natural born citizen.” Niniane coddled her, and softly caressed her hair. Kim thought they looked alot alike. She closed her eyes and took in her smell.

Niniane asked her to wait outside while she gathered some of her old belongings. Kimberlee didn’t think of anything from the old house as special, so she didn’t take a single item. Niniane comes out with a big box. “Are you ready?” She bellows.

A 1992 red Toyota Corolla with deeply dented doors and callously cracked windows sat idle in the driveway. “ You can take a bath at mine if you’d like. How long were you up there, Kimberlee? You look okay. I bet you’d still really like a bath, hm?” Kimberlee sat rigidly straightforward. “Or how about some food? Are you hungry? I could take you out... um, like I said you look fine. Have you ever had Mcdonald’s? Maybe not junk now, you need something nutritious right? I don’t know...-” “Anything is fine Niniane. I don’t want you to worry because I’ll worry too. I think It’s best if I- or we um... well. I’m hungry.” Kimberlee was already feeling paranoid. She wanted to hold onto the excitement of meeting her sister.

She looked into Niniane’s eyes. She felt invincible at once. “three-thirty-three!” yelled the cashier from the counter. Niniane quickly broke eye contact and scooted out of the booth they shared. She scurried to the checkout and left Kim to feel alone. Kim looked at the brown liquid in her cup. Niniane said Coca-Cola was the best soda to exist, and she trusted her.

She sipped through her straw and winced. It’s disgusting, thick, and tasted like syrup. She spat it onto the table. It tasted nothing like what she described.

Niniane powered back to the table with food in mouth and hand.

“These fries!” she cried and opened the bag toward Kim to offer some.

“No thanks. If it's anything like that soda, I'm going to leave sick.”

“ it’s the opposite! Salty... crispy... mmm Kim if you don’t want any just say and- “

``''What took you so long?” Kimberlee interjected.

Mouth full, Niniane was baffled.

“What?”

“How could you leave me in an attic for two years? I was terrified to stay, to leave. A big sis- well at least I think if I were a big sister, I would’ve helped immediately. I guess I've never been a sister before, I could be wrong. Um. Niniane, can I call you Nia? Who are you?”

Her eyes bulged at Kim. She shamefully sunk into her seat.

“I thought they took you.”

Silence.

“Kim. I really really thought.... Ahnjong was serious about making sure we always had a safe place, but I wasn’t sure. She called it heaven, but she meant the attic. I haven’t talked to her since...” Nia became emotional.

“I’m sorry Nia, I didn’t mean to make you cry just... I really lived in an attic, you know? You don’t.” sighed Kim.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have left you. I should’ve checked on you sooner. I was afraid. I thought they were watching the house. Can we please talk somewhere else? This is all wrong. There’s so much to explain. Kim, I know you’re upset right now, but please don’t be with me. I tried with you, I just... Can I take you home? You did say you wanted a bath, didn’t you?”

“ Calm down. If you worry, I worry, remember?” Nia took a deep breath. “There is nothing more I would like than to go home.” Kimberlee exhaled.

Kimberlee sat in the bathtub with her knees to her chest. She breathed the air of the off white walls and faux marble floors, feeling empty. The psychological damage She succumbed to began to set in. She was truly traumatized by something that only ended hours ago. Besides that, she had no friends, no other family besides a shady sister, and no concept of everyday ordinary life. She was homeschooled and hidden. Taught only how to hide and wait for the next hiding spot. Raised in fear and trained to ration. She goes to bed with these thoughts, praying that she can be introduced to normality.

Breakfast greets her. The music her sister plays was Omma’s favorite. They sat and ate in happiness, but Kim is considering Nia said she wanted to talk the night before. She finished her food and then lowered the music.

” What did you need to tell me? Last night at the food place, you said ‘can we talk somewhere else?”

Nia’s gaze fixed on Kim’s feet, she became tense.

“Omma left a safe for us in the house for emergencies.”

She pulled it out from under the table and opened it. Inside there was a mostly charmless bracelet, a small mirror, a prepaid phone, and thick envelope. She handed it over to Kim

“There’s a lot to explain... I wasn’t going to tell you at first baby, but you deserve the truth.” She paused with closed eyes. Kim opened the envelope, and a little black book was inside compressed with a huge wad of cash. She counts it the best she can. $20,000 in all United States one-hundred dollar bills.

“When I was 16, I unexpectedly gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in Buffalo, New York. My big sister helped me migrate to the states from South Korea and promised our parents we would bring the family later. I was supposed to gain citizenship and set up roots for my siblings. I worked as a live- in house cleaner when my water broke on the job and I passed out. They rushed me to the hospital. When I got there, they registered me as a Jane doe.”

She began flipping through the book. Baby pictures of Kimberlee fell to the floor. Nia grinned from ear to ear, hastily picked them up and proudly showed them to her. There were photos of Nia and Ahnjong together on a boat dock with bags, happy.

” With no proof of I.D. or residence, the police had what they needed to take me back to Seoul. Hell, I barely spoke English. I panicked. I gave my baby to my sister and hid out. She was safe. She got her Work Visa and nice job, a stable home in a nice neighborhood.” she began crying.

“When those ICE agents came in, they were profiling her! Maybe they thought she was me. I know they’re looking for me. That’s why she didn’t say anything Kim. Not because she didn’t want to protect you.. She wanted to protect me. She wanted to make sure you could always be with your mother. She was supposed to raise you, but they took her away from us. But that means we can go back home together.”

Kim frowned.

“I was always with my mother... Omma raised me to- I'm confused. Are you saying... wait, so you mean I have another sister? We have another sister?”

“I mean- well Kim, No. Well, technically you do have another sister, she’s just not here yet. You were an only child before I found you, but now I’m pregnant and we are together. Oh! There's really so much to explain, and I can’t make this easy to hear for you Kim, but I’m your real mother and I'd like if you came to Seoul with me.

Kimberlee sat paralyzed. She didn’t know what to think. If her mother was on a work visa, why did they still take her away? Her brain was dismantled. She shook her head firmly. Something wasn’t right. They owned their home. They weren’t suspicious. Why would someone profile her mother?

“They were looking for you?” Kimberlee asked between shaky breaths. “Like how? Could you be more specific? Why? Did you do something wrong?”

“ I’m illegal. “

“Yeah Nia, but you were hiding. Why would they still be looking? Our neighbors loved us! Even if it were you, nobody would’ve called the police. This doesn’t make any sense.”

Kimberly realized where she knew Niniane from. About 3 years ago, she showed up on Omma’s porch demanding they all return to Seoul with her. Ahnjong worked hard for what she had. Just because Nia messed up didn’t mean she had to drag her down with her.

“You told them she was you. You called them.” Kimberlee shuddered. Nia stared guiltily.

“Kim.. let me explain-“ “ you told them she was you! My father is dead because of you, my mother is-“ “I’M your mother!” cried Nia. “I’m your mother” she wails painfully.

Kimberlee began laughing. “So what, you think you’re gonna show up in my life after everything you’ve done? This is your grand idea?” She chortled.

Nia fell on all fours. “Please just give me a chance! We belong together.”

“You’re insane.” Kim grabbed the prepaid phone and dialed 911. “I want to report...” “Kim what are you doing!?” A righteous smile spread.

“...suspicious characters. Possible aliens.”

When the flower sprouts, will it question the soil which surrounds? A flower is granted an unfair advantage. The comfort of one stern root extending deep into the earth’s crevices. To simply be a rooted rose.