Say No To Dowry

A Dowry is when a bride brings gifts for example property, money, furniture and many more treasures to her husband’s family at the time of her marriage. A Dowry is very common in many parts of Asia and still plays a significant role in marriage. Yet although it sounds like hitting the jackpot, there are many reasons why a dowry should be abolishes as a tradition.

‘Yourarticlelibrary’ tells us that a woman who brings a great quantity of dowry to her husband’s family gives her a strong backbone, meaning she wouldn’t have the fear of an unhappy married life, all because of dowry. Really? Well if dowry provides this so-called “confidence” then why does it scar the bride’s family who had to sell themselves to ensure their daughter did not suffer any problems after marriage? However not everyone had parents who will do everything to make their daughter’s married life a success. Many poorer areas in Asia perceive daughters as an invaluable and burden. If a girl is born, then the family perceive they will have a bad future as they see girls as weak and boys as strong and the money earners for the family. Due to this preference of having a boy rather than a girl, it creates an imbalance sex ratio as an abundance of poor families get rid of the existing baby girl. Another reason is that girls are assassinated by their own parents just because they leave the family with burden as they cannot afford dowry when the time comes for marriage. How cold-hearted as these families who kill their own daughter? Does she not deserve to live a life? To all those whose guts are filled with greed, think again before asking for dowry as it might lead to serious consequences.

Similarly, abuse is, astonishingly, very common for an Asian person to face during their married life. Would you get up and hit your daughter? No? then don’t think of doing it to a woman who came to your house with a little or no dowry because someday it will be your daughter’s turn which will lead you to thinking what you did wrong. There are many type of abuses a women faces and these include wife burning. Whether you believe it or not, it happens and many doctors in India say that it is very common for a wife burning case to come to their hospital. Wow. But why does no one speak up? Fear? Or are people too afraid or shocked to believe it actually happens. In India a newly married woman was allegedly tortured by her husband’s family for not brining a dowry with her to their home, since they were enraged with greed and anger they vigorously dunked her hand in scorching oil. Appalling. Do you still want to demand a dowry? When the woman was admitted to hospital, she told the reporters “they beat me for not bringing 10,000 rupees ($150) from my parents and my husband forcibly put one of my hand in boiling oil and my sister-in-law poured boiling oil in my other hand”. Now say you still want a dowry! Another form of abuse is marital rape which almost seems acceptable in some societies whilst the wife is left with permanent scars from a violent husband who sees his wife as prey. In a government examination, 10% of the women who were interviewed stated that “their husband had forced them to have sex”. It’s shocking to think that humankind Condemners women for maligning the organisation of marriage. In certain societies the culprit is rarely blamed, they blame the victim who is the one suffering often in silence, as they cannot stand up and speak out to someone about this abuse. This shows that as woman don’t bring dowry with them it will lead to them facing severe consequences whether it is by the husband’s family or even the husband himself who married and promised to be there for her through thick and thin but as marriage went on more abuse was involved rather than solving anything.

Have you ever thought a dowry is more important than education? If not, then in India, people demand dowry depending on how educated the man is. Shocking, isn’t it that in the 21st century, money is the main priority over love or education. For example, if a groom has a good MBA (Master of Business Administration) then he can demand for 6 million rupees (£60283.50). however, this is just 500,000 rupees less than what an IAS (Indian Administrative Service) officer commands and yet people who are educated don’t think that dowry is wrong and should be abolished. As many demand so high dowry that many families are left with substantial debts and this often leads to parents killing themselves as they cannot pay back the huge sums of money which they borrow from banks or relatives. Sometimes, they are forced to sell their homes just to meet the requirements the groom’s family demand. Ranjit Chauhan said, “in our society, nobody will ask how qualified the bride is. They will ask what (dowry) she has brought with her”. If a man is educated, he is seen as an ideal man for marriage therefore he demands a high dowry but when a woman is educated, she is deemed as a harder option for a guy to pic her for marriage as they consider her as outspoken, different mind-set from those girls who aren’t educated. If a man does pick her, it means their demands for a dowry are likely to be higher, therefore this leads to parents not allowing their daughters to be well-educated or achieve a higher education. Seems cruel, don’t you think? Therefore, the dowry should be abolished because it means that if dowry exists then woman can’t show other of what they are capable of and how much they can achieve without a man being around them and proving that woman can be equal to men when it comes to achieving success.

The most horrifying consequence a woman faces is losing her life simply because the bride’s family couldn’t fulfil the demands for a dowry. In 2010, a staggering 8,391 dowry deaths were reported and police say that many cases lead to the husband’s family alleging she ‘killed herself’. For example, my own cousin, Jamuna got married after a discussion with relatives to a man she did not know. She was not from a rich family. The first few months of Jamuna’s marriage were fine but later, the man started pressurising Jamuna for a dowry. Soon, the marriage turned into abuse and every day she would have a new scar on her body. He later called Jamuna’s father and threatened him to either fulfil his wishes for a dowry or take his daughter back. in Asian culture, after a woman is married, it is a significant burden to take a daughter back home as society talks about the couple and it leads to society thinking that it was the girl’s fault without knowing what actually happened. Later, things worsened and the husband started having a physical relationship with his late brother’s wife to make his wife jealous. Day by day, he tortured her in anyway possible but then one day Jamuna just disappeared. Days passes and even the police could not do anything and no one could find her. After a week they found her in the most awful condition. She was found in a garbage bag. When they opened the bag, Jamuna’s body was swollen and unrecognisable. We later found out that her husband had strangled her and poised her, he then claimed she had killed herself and it was not his fault in anyway. The law in Nepal is not stable so Jamuna’s husband got out off with his despicable crime by paying money to the police and he later ran away. Imagine if your daughter went through this. Do you still support the dowry? Newspaper report that one woman in India dies every hour in a dowry-related case. Imagine reading the newspaper and finding out your daughter, sister or friend was dead! Thanks to the aftermath of a dowry-related conflict.

The dowry should be abolished as it does no one any good other the groom’s family and leaves the bride’s family in crisis as the bride herself has to face shame and abuse from her husband’s family which she thought would take her as pride but in fact they only gave her pain and horrifying memories which the bride takes them with her through her life. Despite having dowry laws which states that if anything happens to the bride within a year of her marriage then the police have the right to say that the cause of that is dowry but just 1 year is never enough for anyone to be comfortable to another family and if she is happy for a year what guarantees are there that she will have a happy married life after one year? And also the financial burden in the bride’s family as the groom’s family are filled with only greed who see nothing but money. So why wait any longer? Get up and do something about abolishing the dowry and then see how many women might feel safe when they go to the groom’s family.