Republican Marriage, A Cruel & Unusual Punishment

Marrying a Republican is the worst decision you will ever make in your life. It's pure hell and torture, a decision you certainly will regret making.

I'm joking. Everyone knows marriage is hell regardless of political affiliation.

The type of Republican Marriage I'll discuss in this article is an old execution method used during the French Revolution between 1793 and 1794 by Jean-Baptiste Carrier .

All About Republican Marriage

Republican Marriage was a form of punishment used when couples committed crimes together.

Each person would be stripped of their clothes, tied together, and tossed into a body of water to drown. Jean-Baptiste often tossed couples into the river Loire.

Other Execution Methods

Republican Marriage was one of many ways criminals were executed before human rights and more humane execution tactics came along. Reading this list, it seems like one of the least gruesome execution methods.

Other torture and execution methods used historically include:

Boiling Alive

People were boiled alive centuries ago.

This execution technique, used in Asia, England, and other countries, brought a gruesome end of life to the condemned people. The criminal was stripped naked and placed into a large pot of water or oil that was gradually heated to boiling point. It took about two hours to execute someone via boiling.

Ling chi

Also called a “death by a thousand cuts,” Ling chi was an execution method practiced in China starting in the 10th century and used for more than 1000 years until it was banned in 1905.

This method of execution involved the criminal being tied to a post. Bits of his skin and limbs were removed one by one. In the final act of death, the executioner cut out the criminal's heart.

Breast Ripper

A form of torture used against women accused of crimes like blasphemy, adultery, abortion, and even those accused of being witches, the Breast had four claws that were heated, then latched onto the woman’s breasts.

After attached to her breasts, the executioners would slowly twist and then painfully rip them from her body. Women who did not die were left severely disfigured.

Kneehauling

A type of punishment used only against sailors, kneehauling involved the individual being tied up with rope and dragged underwater from one end of the ship to the other.

The barnacles on the ship’s keel often cut the sailors as they were dragged from one end of the boat to the other. Sailors generally drown or died from internal injuries, although some survived and were left with lifetime injuries and scars.

The Dutch navy created this method of execution during the 16th century.

Scaphism

Unquestionably one of the most painful, sadistic execution methods ever, Scaphism was a punishment used by Persians who trapped the criminal between two hollowed-out boats and force-fed them milk and honey. That doesn’t sound so horrific, right? Well, the milk and honey caused diarrhea which also became trapped between the enclosures. The Persians then smeared the inmate with more milk and honey to attract bugs to them. The bugs would bite and eat away at the person who eventually died from infection, exposure, or dehydration.

Head Crusher

Head crusher. (2021, January 25). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_crusher

We saved the worst for last.

The Head Crusher was an execution tactic just as gruesome as its name sounded.

After placing the large device over the victim's head, a chin strap was snugly fit around the victim's chin and a bottom bar. A screw under the bottom bar was turned until the device came together to compress the skull.

Each turn of the screw tightened the device a little bit more until the victim’s skull was completely compressed. The victim’s teeth would break out of their mouth, some would even splinter into their jaw. The device squeezed the victims’ eyes out of the socket and forced out the contents of their head.

I guess the electric chair and lethal injection aren't so bad if we look at execution methods used throughout history.