It is an unexpected, silent, violent, act of savagery on the unwilling.
My eyes flickered open like a light switch. My hand curled around something soft and fluffy, looking down I see a pillow. My senses register that the soft material below me is a bed. I begin to search the room in blind confusion, then it dawns on me. I’m in someone’s bedroom and I shouldn’t be. Courtney and I were at Dianna’s then we left and went clubbing at her cousins’ bar down town. We didn’t drink, Dianna made sure of that herself. Wait, where is—
“Looking for someone, beautiful?” I whipped my head around to meet the voice. A male silhouette sat beneath a window that let in the only light in the room. I had to squint to ensure that the figure I was seeing was in fact a male; he had lengthy curly hair and his physique was rather thin. He sat on what appeared to be a couch—probably a futon—with a girl slumped across his lap.
“What am I doing here?” I asked my voice coming out horse and more frightened than I intended.
“Relax sweetheart. You’re upstairs from the bar.” He slid down further into the couch. I caught the movement of his hand as he began stroking the girl’s back. From the moonlight, it looked as if her top were white, a thin material like a bohemian blouse with bell cuff sleeves. She wore shorts and Egyptian sandals with…
“Courtney?” Her name left my lips in a slight whisper. Recognition came easy of my friend’s big curly brown hair and her butterfly tattoo on her right ankle. My eyes found where his should have been, “You-” I started to move off the bed, but my left arm wouldn’t budge. I felt the cold circle of metal around my small wrist before I looked up and saw my hand cuffed to the bed post.
I turned back to him intently, my eyes giving away every ounce of fear that I felt in my heart at that moment. Holding a finger up to where his lips must be he said, “Ssshh.” The music from downstairs still blared loudly, screaming for help wouldn’t do any good. I looked back at Courtney who appeared to still be out cold. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I haven’t touched her… yet. I only have eyes for you.” He picked up Courtney and laid her gently down on the futon before moving toward me.
He stood at the foot of the bed with a smirk on his face from what I could make out, as if he were watching the funniest thing ever.
“What is your name?” I asked trying to contain the tremble in my voice.
Sucking in a breath of what sounded like pure pleasure he said, “You wanna know my name? No, girl I’ve lead her has ever asked me that before.” He began leaning over the end of the bed and I began to back away from him. I heard him chuckle to himself as he ran his hands up my legs, under my dress, and up my thighs until his hands rest on my hips. I cringed at his touch. As he climbed up on the bed he yanked me down towards him making me whimper at the pain of my wrist fighting against its restraint, but he didn’t seem to care.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Please, don’t do this to me.”
He snickered and locked me between his legs and I tried to squirm free, but that only made him tighten his hold on me. His eyes racked over me as if I were a piece of meat he was about to devour. His lips came on me hard and with my free hand I found him, disgusted with the taste of this man’s lips on my own. He made a trail for my neck and I groaned in opposition as I tried my best to jab him in the throat, but he caught my hand and slammed it down into the covers. His hot breath left my neck and moved downward over my breast, past my stomach, then he just stopped. He was off me in an instant. He was up laughing to himself and looked me in the eye as he undid his pants.
For the first time, I noticed his eyes were blue, like the sea. How dare those blue waves belong to a monster like him! Why would God bless him with such a thing? I looked away and sucked in a breath of fresh air and curled up on my side in a fetal position. I held my free hand close to me as I tried to calm my breathing, while the rest of my body shook in agony and anticipation at what he would do next. Anger burned in my chest at the fact that this was happening me. I have done nothing to deserve this and who was this savage to wreck me the way he was doing right now?
He grabbed something from the night stand before gaining his position at the foot of the bed once more. “Condom or no condom?” He held up Trojan branded square. My jaw set, I looked from the blue wrapped package to him, tears stung the corner of my eyes and I blinked them away. “Why don’t you let me go?” My demand clear through clenched teeth.
He laughed once more, “You didn’t answer my question, sweetheart.”
“I said let me go!” I yelled, bouncing toward him as I pulled at my only restraint.
He didn’t budge. “Tell you what. I’ll use the condom, but if you start to act too naughty or resist me too much, I’m taking it off.” My eyes didn’t leave his, and I remained silent. This was so wrong.
The tears came, and I let them fall. “I hate you.” I whispered beneath my breath.
“I know, they always do.”
The ravage began and I kept my eyes closed so tight that they hurt. I tried to think about other things as this man continued his assault on my body. I looked over at Courtney at some point, she was still out of it on the couch, and for a moment I wondered if she was going to be alright. The tears never stopped coming, but I kept quiet. Rape was one thing… but the last thing I wanted was to bear the child of a rapist, to bring a baby in the world in that way was taboo for me. Then it happened. He pulled out for a moment and then slammed back into me, I could tell this time was different around. He’d done it several times before, but his time I felt him. And that’s when he exploded inside me. Air left my lungs as I began to sob silently to myself over what was happening. Before I knew it, I was fighting him off me and screaming at him to stop, but he held me down, not caring about my refusal because he’d done his damage now and there was no point in stopping.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he removed himself from me and got up. I stared at the ceiling, I just knew my eyes were red and puffy, but I didn’t care since I was incapable of crying more tears. I shut them wishing I could remove the dirt and grim I felt throughout my body. I curled on my side, moaning against the pain thinking, ‘How could he?’ An image of Jason flashed through my mind and I shielded my face from him with my filthy hands. What would he say when he found out? Would he love me anymore? He would leave me, find a new girl who wasn’t as damaged and gross as me, one who he could enjoy life with and go to college with and live out that successful, jubilant life we had planned.
“Goddamn, baby, you’re tight and good at what you do. Wanna go for round two?” He laughed grabbing a bottle of probably water—no alcohol seemed more his style, from a mini fridge I hadn’t noticed.
“Go to hell,” I muttered through my teeth.
“Alright then, I could always go around with your friend here.” He said grabbing hand full of Courtney’s hair and shoving her face against his uncovered crotch.
I raised up. “Don’t you dare touch her, you filthy animal. Leave her alone!”
He held my gaze and smiled, “Okay then, sweetheart, you wanna go or not?”
I looked at Courtney who after all this time was still unconscious. Whatever he gave her was heavier than whatever he had given me and once again worry filled my stomach. Courtney had never been with a guy like I had, she was waiting, and I respected that of her. I admired that of her, really.
“You know what? Your friend it is.”
“No, stop!” Courtney cherished herself, she took pride in it and there was no way I was going to let this bastard ruin what she had been protecting for maybe her future husband. Tears filled my eyes as I saw my best friend unconscious at his full disposal. “Let’s go another round.”
He smiled then dropped Courtney’s head, leaving it to dangle off the side of the futon. And again came his second assault… that I agreed to….