Ocean's 2 and a half
The story of two thieves on a boat.
Takad and Spoons were two partners in crime. On a remote island. They call themselves the dynamic duo's who can steal a six-pack of beer at a store and go unnoticed. They would drink beer and barbecue every day by celebrating every completed mission of stealing beer.
Their three wall house that provides a living space of 10x10 feet near a small running stream provided the best hideout and a place to party every day. They would drink every day and cook food while discussing their next mission plan on how to steal beer.
Their world revolved around beer. If you need labor from Takad and Spoons, you would pay them by buying beer for them. If they needed energy, then beer was their energy drink. If there was a big fiesta, they would be the ones who would crowd around the cooler so they would be able to grab a can or two quickly. That was their source of income.
One day. Takad was scoping out a corner store and Spoons went inside to score a steal by 'five fingers discounting' two six-packs in his backpack. His role was that he was backpacking around the island and he was the best hiker in town. So he was playing his role perfectly. Thinking that the cashier of the store would not know him by his face. Even though Takad and Spoons had always been in the store many times. The cashier was playing her role also. She was playing oblivious to the fact that these two crooks will never find a productive lifestyle to support their habit. So, she did not care at all if they stole two packs of beer or not. More likely, she felt pity for them that they would plan elaborate missions just to steal beer.
Spoons entered the store and went to the back of the store where there was a lot of beer and water bottles housed in the fridge. Then, he heard someone talked to the cashier at the front of the store. "Hello Ma'am!" said the hiker. "Can you tell me where is East from here? I'm trying to hike to my friend's house that is by the airport and all I remember was that he has a house by the airport."
Spoons' ears perked up and he hurried back to the front of the store to see an actual hiker. So with his quick thinking, he used the situation to his advantage. "Hey, sir! I know the way, I'm a hiker too!" The hiker smiled and thanked Spoons for being a fellow hiker. Thinking that Spoons knew the hiker's code he was grateful that a backpacker would guide him to his friend's house. So Spoons took the hiker and they started hiking towards East where the airport was.
Takad saw Spoons with the hiker and he already knew to stalk in the jungle until they find a way to steal money for beer. While on the hike, Spoons was talking with the hiker and the hiker mentioned that he was a backpacker from Australia and he was here on vacation to backpack throughout the island. Also, the hiker told Spoons that he was renting a bungalow next to the beach on the west side of the island, and that was the reason why he was hiking towards the east side of the island to see his friend. Spoons realized that there was a big safe in the suite bungalow next to that beach and he knew that there would be a lot of cash for beer!
So Spoons signaled Takad with the 'go away' signal. The signal was waving away behind the victim, signaling that there's a better option. Takad and Spoons knew each other so well that they had these rhetorical hand signals that only they would understand. So Takad, who had been stalking them for a long time, returned to the shack to wait.
Later that evening, Spoons arrived at the shack. Takad was already there and he stood up and yelled, "Where have you been?!" Spoons was already drunk. Spoons started explaining in a drunken slur that the Australian hiker thanked him for guiding the way to his friend's house and the hiker gave Spoons money. Spoons explained further that he was thirsty and the first thing on his mind was the brewed elixir of beer. So before he went to the shack, he stopped by the nearest store and bought two six-packs of beer and drank all of it to quench his thirst. Spoons concluded that he was too drunk that he was stammering on the path home so he took small naps on the way back to the shack, and that was the reason why he took so long to return.
Takad was infuriated. He told Spoons, " You owe me! For stalking you guys and you told me to go back home so I did. I haven't eaten, drank, or even showered. I thought you got the score of beer. Instead, you drank it on your way here!?" Spoons replied," Sheesh man! I got a back-up plan. We can steal the safe by a stolen boat, bring it here and we can try to pry it open as much as we can because no one can hear us making all the noise in this jungle." So Spoons and Takad went to steal a boat late at night by the harbor on the east side of the island.
Spoons found a boat with the key still left inside. "Takad!" Spoons said. "We got the boat, are you ready?" "Yes, Spoons!" They got on the boat, it was a twenty-minute ride until they mounted at the dark harbor next to the expensive bungalow on the west side of the island. It was late and only one security guard was making his round throughout the bungalow property. The west side of the island was very safe. It was the main city of the island, and thievery was the only nuisance on the west side of the island. The bungalows had no doors so anyone could enter.
So Takad and Spoons snuck easily to the suite bungalow and saw the little red light of the safe. They carefully carried the safe. Takad and Spoons tried their best to hold their grunts by lifting the safe. The safe must have weighed 250 pounds. Yet Takad and Spoons could still manage. The creaking of the harbor was not loud enough and the sound helped suppress their subtle movement to the boat. Because the harbor was made of wood and the splashing wave moved the harbor's floorboards. So the natural creaking noise helped Takad's and Spoons' stealthy exfiltration.
"Takad ready?" Spoons said whispering. "On my count, we drop the safe in the boat I turn the engine on. You hop on and we leave as fast as we can." "Okay." Takad whispered back. "One...Two...Three".
POW! The safe fell on the boat and broke it in half and sunk. Takad and Spoons ran back to the jungle and they botched their mission.
About the author
I was born and raised in Guam. I was one of those kids who can speak English and Palauan. I joined the US military at 18 and finally found a plot here in Yuma, Arizona. I am now a student at Arizona Western College.