Investigating Stinky Cases

Have you ever felt the urge to let one fly? What if there were prohibited areas and you couldn’t legally fart? It’s not a work of fiction!

A man in Austria rose slightly from a park bench and let go of a massive, loud blast of intestinal wind. Breaking wind around a bunch of cops in Austria is a no-no. Who would have thought?

The culprit was fined $560 for violating public decency or an unduly noise. The violation of public decency was for loudly blowing a bowel in front of officers. This guy must have the equivalent of a car backfire for a fart machine.

Vienna Police explained on Twitter (X). They reported that no one is reported for accidentally letting one go, but the defendant provocatively and uncooperative looked their way before letting it fly making the officers take offense with his actions.

“He rose slightly from the park bench, looked at the officers, and let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent in the immediate vicinity of the officers.”

— Vienna Police Dept. via Twitter

Cops don’t like to be farted at? Again, who would have guessed?

Farting During A Body Cavity Search

Cops everywhere are facing the occasional butt breather. It also happened in Scotland in 2019. On that occasion, the man was sentenced to 75 hours of community service for repeatedly farting at officers while they performed a body cavity search.

As a former officer, it makes one wonder what kind of body cavity searches officers perform in Scotland. The last thing you want is your finger checking someone’s insides when one roars out.

The prosecutor in Scotland allegedly reported that the offender asked, after farting three times, “How do you like that?”

Waving Farts At The Cops Becomes A Failed Test Case

Back in the USA, a man in West Virginia was taken to the police station after being pulled over in a drunk driving investigation.

The 34-year-old was accused of deliberately farting and then fanning it toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature,” the complaint read, reported by Newsweek. Ultimately, the charge was dismissed, but how would you like that on your criminal history?

Fart Joke Lands Man In Prison

Farts can empty a room. Harold Hadley was studying at the Mississippi Jones County Junior College Library and needed to go to the bathroom.

Hadley decided to write a fart joke on a piece of toilet paper. Being born in a rural area, he decided to refer to his farts as something else capable of clearing a room, a bomb. When someone else found the slip of paper, it got him into serious trouble.

An Ass Takes Down Planes

In 2018, an older gentleman flying from Dubai to Amsterdam was so flatulent his odors upset passengers and forced the pilots to make an emergency stop.

Passengers were upset enough that they asked the man to stop. When he didn’t, the pilot told him to stop, but again the farting passenger wouldn’t quit blowing out his pipes. After a fight involving the man and two people sitting nearby, the pilot was forced to make an emergency landing.

After the plane landed, the police boarded and removed the men that caused the fight, the farting man, and two women sitting close by.

Takeaways

We all do it, but where and when can be complicated. Besides never wanting to let one fly near your significant other there are times and places not to let one rip.

Police don't have much of a sense of humor. At least not when they're on duty. When in uniform, we spent most of our days trying to tolerate people, much less smell some of them. So intentionally antagonizing the cops with your noxious bodily odors might get you into trouble.

It seems clear that a fart can clear a room. Anyone who ever indulged in too much Taco Bell on a drunken night will attest to that. If you're clearing planes and they're in mid-air you might find yourself on the no-fly list. It could be worse. You could end up in the NY Times, Newsweek, or the Associated Press and listed as having the most dastardly ass of the week.