How do narcissists behave?

In positions of power, narcissistic behavior is often present. Some seek power for positive reasons, like personal growth or helping others, but narcissistic individuals desire power for the status and attention it brings.

Vulnerable narcissists can be reserved and entitled, easily threatened or offended. However, over time, the dark side of narcissism emerges. They act selfishly, making unethical decisions, and may display dishonesty or infidelity. When their self-image is challenged, they become resentful and aggressive, causing suffering to those around them. This behavior is classified as "narcissistic personality disorder" , affecting 1-2% of adults, more commonly in men. It is not diagnosed in young people as self-centeredness is considered a part of normal development. Traits associated with this disorder include a grandiose self-view, lack of empathy, entitlement, and a need for admiration. These traits dominate their lives, leading to significant problems.

Imagine using your spouse and children for attention rather than caring for them, or rejecting feedback and labeling others as wrong. Narcissism has a strong genetic component, although specific genes are unknown. Parenting styles and cultural values also influence narcissism. Parents who idolize their child promote grandiose narcissism, while cold and controlling parents contribute to vulnerable narcissism. Cultures that emphasize individuality and self-promotion tend to have higher levels of narcissism, as seen in the United States where narcissism has been rising since the 1970s along with a shift to a self-focused society. Social media offers more opportunities for self-promotion. However, there is no conclusive evidence that social media causes narcissism. Instead, it allows narcissists to seek attention and social status.

Can narcissists change their negative traits? Yes! Psychotherapy and practicing compassion towards others can help promote self-reflection and caring for others. The challenge is that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder may struggle to continue working on self-improvement. For them, self-reflection is difficult when it reveals unflattering aspects which they would rather not confront.

The distinctive traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be rather unpleasant, making interactions with individuals experiencing NPD confusing, frustrating, and even hurtful. Those with NPD often overlook or dismiss many of these traits that contribute to their unlikeable nature. Here are nine signs that may be indicative of narcissism:

1. Instead of actively listening, they become absorbed in their own opinions. If you've ever felt belittled or ignored by someone who had no basis for doing so, you may have encountered a narcissistic trait. Their perception leads them to believe your input is unimportant, causing them to tune out rather than engage in meaningful conversation. Conversations become platforms solely for presenting their own ideas, which they consider the only ones worth acknowledging.

2. They tend to engage in infidelity within relationships. Narcissists perceive their qualities as superior and believe they deserve someone extraordinary. This attitude, when brought into a relationship, can lead to destructive behavior such as cheating. According to psychologist Katarina Valentini , narcissists struggle to form normal relationships and often wreak havoc in their partners' lives, finding a sense of empowerment in betraying and causing grief.

3. They incessantly seek admiration. Narcissists exude arrogance and conceit, appearing confident, but their need for constant admiration persists. The delusion of entitlement to adoration leaves those around them emotionally drained, as narcissists thrive on being placed on a pedestal and worshipped by followers.

4. They handle criticism poorly. Narcissists believe in their superiority and infallibility, reacting strongly to perceived criticism. Responses may include yelling, tantrums, or other unreasonable reactions when they sense someone is challenging their views.

5. They exploit others without remorse. Narcissists lack empathy and are unwilling to see the world from others' perspectives. This absence of empathy enables them to exploit others without feeling any guilt or shame, manipulating people to fulfill their needs without regard for the consequences on others.

6. They belittle others. Narcissists, considering themselves the best and brightest, respond negatively to evidence suggesting otherwise. They aim to assert their superiority by dismissing others or resorting to personal attacks, belittling and intimidating to maintain a sense of dominance.

7. They perceive themselves as more attractive than reality. Narcissists cross the line between a healthy self-image and delusion, believing they are exceptionally attractive despite any imperfections. This perceived superiority in attractiveness serves as justification for considering themselves too good for everyone.