Case Unsolved

If I die, please remember me.

I have no legacy, nothing of value to my name. I’m not rich nor will I ever be. If I do go can I ask you to take it all. Take anything that my fingers have touched, my notebook that my words have graced its pages or a neckless that’s hug around my neck. It may mean nothing to you but if I lose everything then dying it not half as scary as being forgotten.

These were the first words found in a little black book within an empty apartment. After getting an inquiry from her work, police investigations found no trace of her living there. They have reason to believe that she is missing or assumed dead but cannot be certain as they do not have an exact time frame. The official statement from the head of police states- “ With her apartment empty we only have the evidence from the pages of this little black book; with this information we can determine her last days to create a timeline perspective. We can collectively decide whether she is a run away or if she is missing. As no family members have come forward, we are to believe that her family have no contact with her or that she has none.” From further inspection the police noticed that her mother and father passed away November 2019 but she does have a brother who lives along the west coast. If you have seen or know of her whereabouts please get in contact with your local police.

New York Times. June 2020

Date of purchase: December 2019

Little Black Book

Date of move in- January 2020

‘Studio apartment, 4th floor. Equipped with a kitchen hob, oven and two small sauce pans. Shower, bath, toilet and a sink.’

Plan: A single bed far left near the window, no money for tv yet, but put that on wall opposite. Small dinning table centre, no desk required. Requested for a fridge to be installed, painting to be accepted and to be able to get cleaners for the wooden floor. (if affordable)

When I came across you in all your beauty, it would be an insult to your honour to ignore you. Your pages have a glistening gold rim and a fine black ribbon to indicate the page desired. The faux leather exterior was crafted with excellent taste, having the edges rounded to perfection with a design feature placed on the back bottom. Engraved into the fabric lay the words in gold ‘Little Black Book’. To tie it all together came a gold decoration bound to the spine. Journal writing was a hobby my mother taught me of a way of processing’s my thoughts. With this new found time I can force myself to write what I can’t speak.

Weather is looking good and feeling positive with my new job.

Menacing, dark, cold sky’s to come with sleepless storms. Downpour with a chance of tearful days. Unable to wake at the right hour, never able to keep to my routine. This can change with the sun, if the sun could bring a bag of happiness with it.

I woke with the sensation of drowning, like I was being pulled under or weighed down. Testing it to if my eyes deceived me or even if my conscience had woken as it is perfectly piled, sitting on my dinning table, bathed in sunlight. Lustrous in it’s appearance but filthy from it status. $20,000. Stolen, or so assumed only from the broken window. The thief in question must have ran from the building in the night leaving no trace. My eyes can’t leave its gaze, I’m both perfectly rich and terrible poor from the mere sight of it. It feels me with joy but aches me to my core. This thief is either completely broken or just stupid. Handsome and mad, or dumb and ugly whom ever you may be please come and collect your money. Of course if you never collect it then what was once yours is now mine; can use what I may to get me a new window, a fridge and a tv, they’ll believe that not all of it made it to my apartment. You’re the criminal here, I’m just taking advantage of your perfect timing.

This was your plan, made to feel guilty. Steal $30,000, pass the blame and your never seen again; well your money will go to the police in the morning.

Drab grey smoke lined the sky and forecast of rain. No sight of my thief. I promise to not give your money away nor do I wish to spend it. Handsome stranger, mad you may be but your devil deception will never fool me. You can dress smart and you may even fuel my sexual desires but I will never surrender my love for you. However, seeing as I’ve become your safety net I’ll bargain with you. I’ll take money for repairs and money for the storage and what remains will buy my silence. With the bargain agreed, $5000 for repairs. $5000 for saving and $10,000 for leaving. I wish to see Las Vegas, the Hollywood sign. Go to Paris and London but this money is yours, never mine so you decide; but how beautiful we’ll be on motorbikes with leather jackets riding down the streets of Rue de l’Université with afternoon tea booked at three. You’ll hold my hand as we walk inside and after we have finished dining we’ll go and visit the Eiffel Tower to see the night sky. Please kiss me on my check, hold my waist and fall into a paradox paradise where money is never our issue and life can pass us by.

These notes can buy our freedom although we’ll be on the run but even if they catch us the money would be gone, they can’t charge us in any way so we’ll be free to roam another day. Let’s flee to the next city or the one over with no regrets and no living debt, we can start a new life honest and true until my dying day I will always I love you.

I don’t blame you for stealing the money, if anything I should thank you. Thank you for breaking my window. Thank you for I haven’t had a nights sleep since. Thank you for making me completely paranoid. Don’t be disheartened by my sarcasm, I only wish to lighten the mood. You’re everything to me, everything and more. Please walk through my door or even my window just so I can see your face, those blue eyes, brown floppy hair and the beard you need to shave.

If you never arrive can I call this money mine. I made a promise to never spend it and never give it up. Crisp notes, never to be used. $20,000 is just a number on paper until you arrive, we could put it aside for our children, for holidays or for our first home. A future bathed in gold and worth more than money can buy. Happy and content with the life we live without a shadow of doubt to pass us by.

You didn’t steal this for us, this is for your dying mother isn’t it, without your brother this money was the last chance to pay for her surgery. I’m sorry I don’t need to see the world, I can wait to have children. It means nothing if you can’t see your mother again.

You’re at my door. Hiding in my shadows. Breathing in my ear. You hold me while I sleep and you’re there when I wake. You’re in my dreams, you’ve taken over my memories, you’ve highjacked my life. You’re the salt to my pepper. You’re the sun to my moon. You’re my life the moment you gave me this fortune. I can’t breathe without panicking that your standing there behind me. I can’t think without thinking that you’ll never find me. I can’t bear to spend one day more without you never knocking at my door. I’m here with your money and more.

If we are to leave, start fresh I must be ready. I’ll leave my job, quit tomorrow if I knew you’d show. I’ll sell anything of value, we can use this money and just go. I’ll sell what was never mine, with this and my own savings we can make it to Tim-buck-two and back. With it all coming together perfectly in time for your arrival. I only have the bathroom to sell and the bed. I can meet you with the money so please pick a place and time I can meet you there.

You didn’t show.

Just pick a place and time and I will meet you there.

I lay waiting from nightfall to sun rise for a knock at my door.

You don’t want to come. You never showed because you know that it will break my heart. I’m fine, honestly please come and take your money, save your mother and never speak to me again.

I don’t want your filthy dead money, its worthless, worthless than the love I had for you, for our future.

Everything is a mistake if you show and take what’s yours; I’ll lose everything.

When your tomorrow starts without me and I’m not there to see the sun rise and find your eyes please remember that I spent every last moment fighting for you. Please don’t cry when you find I’m gone. It breaks my heart knowing you took so long. Your money is in a bag under the bed, please fulfil your life and leave me for dead.

Understand that I forgive your sins. I forgive your incompetence. I forgive your bad timings. I want to remember the life we‘ve lived, the moments we shared and how time has passed us by but I must bid you adieu now so farewell and good bye.

When I do die please remember me for I will remember you.

From the information found from this little black book we can decipher that she was severely depressed. She also displayed signs of schizophrenia but without a psychological evaluation we can not be certain. A thorough search of her apartment showed that the window could have been broken and fixed within the time frame. However there wasn’t any payment taken from her bank to state that she had it fix. Any fixtures that are done on the building are meant to go through the tenant and he spoke of no requests for a widow fixture. The $20,000 as spoken in this little black book was never under the bed but the investigation did find a duffel bag with $48 inside. We believe that this was what she saved when selling all her belongings. Although $20,000 was stolen in the early part of 2020 we do not believe that she was involved. We cannot be certain of the time frame that the black book was written in. From change of penmanship and rapid change of perspective and emotion we believe that each entry was at least a day even more apart. Without this information we can not be certain when she chose to leave her home. Information given from her work states that her work effort started to drop in March 2020 but she finally stopped turning up for work in the beginning of May 2020. We believe that she left her home around this time. Her bank cards haven’t had any activity since her last rent payment at the end of July 2020 as she had fallen into debt. We were able to get in contact with her brother in August 2020 but from his vague description we can understand that they lost contact after their parents died. As we have had no leads and no information of her whereabouts she is still official missing.

Police report. Case unsolved February 2021.