Will I ever be someone's Valentine?

Longing for what others had

When I was in the 4th grade a girl in my class received a box of Valentine's candy from a 5th-grade boy. She was about to turn 12 was fully developed and more mature than the rest of us 9 and 10-year-olds so it seemed appropriate that she was the one. She had breasts, wore a bra and had hair underneath her arms and I saw her as the image of what would befall the rest of us in a few years.

She appeared to be both pleased and embarrassed by the Valentine's Day surprise and the entire class was in awe. I was fascinated and longed for the day a boy would do the same for me. For the next 6 years through junior high school in the 7th and 8th grades as well as my freshman year in high school, I watched as many other girls received candy, cards, gifts, and flowers and wondered if I would ever get a turn. Finally, my chance came the following year in the 10th grade.

At long last

A girl who was a junior gave me the phone number and picture of her cousin Henry who lived two towns away. She thought we might hit it off so I gave her one of my pictures and my phone number and he called me. We talked on the phone daily for a few months but never met. On Valentines Day he sent me a big box of candy and a card through the mail. Shortly after our long-distance romance ended. I was happy but no one saw the gifts but me and my grandma so there was a bit of a letdown.

The following year when I was 16 I was "going with"/"talking" to Robert and he gave me a box of candy and a faux ruby ring. He brought it to my school and I was elated and yet also embarrassed by all the attention that others were sending my way. The ring especially was causing a lot of talk and I found myself wishing it would all stop. I got the thing I had hoped for but it was not the way I had imagined.

About three weeks later while at a basketball game, the faux ruby popped out of the setting as I was clapping my hands. It fell down into the bleachers and when I found it there was no way to fix it so I kept it in a drawer. About a week later Robert broke up with me so at that point I threw the ring away.

My time has come

My senior year my boyfriend's name was Vincent and he gave me a box of candy, and I thought about how I had longed to receive Valentine's Day gifts but now that it was happening it was not the big thrill I expected. It had seemed magical and romantic when I was watching it take place with other girls. Vincent and I broke up a month later and about 6 weeks after that I met the man who would become my husband.

His name was Michael and we spent 45 years together with 40 of them as husband and wife. The first few years that we were dating Michael gave me Valentine's Day gifts he gave me a big heart-shaped box with my favorite snack, shelled, salted sunflower seeds inside. My family members who were hoping to eat some of my chocolates were greatly disappointed and I had a good laugh.

I was blessed to spend 45 Valentine's Days with my husband before he passed and there is one February 14th that stands out among all the others. It was 1985 and it had begun snowing that afternoon. Michael worked the night shift and was sleeping but as the snow continued I woke him at about 4:00 PM because he needed to get to the bank and cash his paycheck before they closed.

We lived only a few blocks from the downtown area so we decided to walk through the snow rather than drive and it was beautiful. The pure white flakes were falling so softly and silently and there were at least 3 or 4 inches already on the ground. Once we left the bank we went into a Hallmark store where we purchased each other cards and candy and he got me a single red rose that was beautiful.

We walked home holding hands in the snow and after dinner, he walked to a video store with a neighbor to rent us a movie to watch. When he returned he found me in a red and black negligee and he put on the boxers with the red hearts that I had given him earlier in the day. After the movie, we had a romantic evening and 9 months later our daughter was born. No other Valentine's Day has ever compared and I am grateful for the memory.