wildflowers became the magic of my life.

Scrolling down the internet, somewhere along the lines I saw "Beautiful wildflower grows untamed" and that hit me. I have always admire wildflowers and have always love to sing and write about them but then again I have always loved to write about the things I am not. Wildflowers became a part of my life, perhaps a comfort zones. Something about their free and wild spirits have comforted me whenever I felt everything was too much to handle. She is so stubborn that no matter how chaotic it is she has managed to bloom in the middle of nowhere and in her own way. She has never failed to amuse me. I knew I admired them from the very start but everything started to change when I began to realize how different she was from me. Wildflowers to me has always been intriguing story that has stirred the start of my 20's and that's not too long ago, just some months. So, to be precise I would say wildflowers became a thing in my last teenage year. She was always so strong, spirited, free and wild but I, I was just a girl living behind the facades.

I think some people really deserve awards for the facades they have been living with. I mean there's time when we have to put up with everything that's going on at work places, classes and gatherings even though we don't really understand half of the world and how it work, at least not me. I know some would say I am too young to to do so but then again its generation Z, of course. As a person I was it was really difficult to fit in and when I barely did, I felt like a side character that rarely makes it to the screen. Well I guess just because we fit in doesn't mean we always belong there. And then there was wildflowers who didn't care where she grew, she was always full of lights, smiles and all that graces. One fine morning in the fields of spirited wildflowers, it suddenly hit me that I should be happy that I was not the main character of some discussion that I am not even really fond of. It took me a great deal of anxiety, couples of random embarrassment and in some cases manifestation of every source of energy I had within me just to figure out an 'erg' that seems to be in common. As a matter of fact I had to go through a little lethargic procedure to finally realize it was not my thing, at least not the genre I liked.

Wildflowers can't be controlled because they grow in uncultivated soil, in those hard and bumpy places where no one expects them to grow. Well that explains why they can't be tame, they were never meant to be. And here I was trapped by the uncertainties, becoming what people wanted me to be and the person I was not. I was more then their assumptions, gossips, do's and don'ts. In fact by their standard I knew I was not perfect and to be honest perfection is overrated. By their standard I was too naive to do anything about their calculating smile but too smart to figure out or too average to fit in the circles and to be honest I still don't get the idea of circles but then it is what it is or I had too much humor to explore or understand , I had too much to say or nothing at all, or too lazy to be lazy if I must add and too much living in my own world and much more. Despite everything I realized I was life with endless strings where the enchanting flaws flowed, supernatural beliefs lived, and of course boundless messy chaos existed and I must say messy chaos are the best. They are the deal, they brings out the life of your soul and that's how you know you are living.

Now once again I stand on the same field of wildflowers, among them I feel free, spirited, warm and just like them and I have also learned that we can be happy with someone but we don't necessarily need someone to be happy. We just need to lower our gaurds and let everything be absorbed.

To the wildflowers, wildflowers that became the magic of my life and life to my soul. I will live just like you and just like me.