My mind is filled with memories of them. And I can't prevent it. I take a stroll down the street and all I see are memories we made, like us going to that grocery store near his place for our late night cooking experiments. Or that restaurant we tried after our beautiful hike out in the coast. Or when I see a pomerianian and think of their dog and how needy they were for me.
I miss their warm hugs when I would arrive at their place. The kisses they'd give me before every time they left the room. I miss how thoughtful they were despite when I was on my worst behavior. I miss everything sometimes.
It's hard to see how our relationship was with my rose colored glasses- because I know according to my diary that there was also sometimes where I would feel immensely bored with them. And wish that they were more exciting and freeing. I always had to bring that side out.
I like to think that we worked... But honestly I can't remember clearly. It's been 6 months, almost 7 now. I know that I still think about them daily and they tell me they do too.
How does one know the difference of missing someone simply out of boredom or missing them for who they were as well?
I miss college life and living with my friends. I want to do that again, but also living at home and having free rent has been amazing too. I've saved so much and was able to actually allocate my money into investments and other places to meet some financial goals.
I'm always inbetween spending money for the experiences and saving for the future. It's probably the one thing that always stops me from following my heart.
Whether we like to admit it or not, relationships really depend on finances. If one of us or both do not feel financially stable, then the relationship feels the effect of that.
We had cheap dates for the most part. And I enjoyed all the places we spent money. I loved when they asked me if I had eaten, I just thought it was sweet.
Maybe it would be nice to be able to read someone's mind- especially when they are terrible at expressing how they feel.
I'm a hypocrite cause their actions have all pointed to caring for me, and yet when I can't hear it verbally I get upset as well. Why does it feel as if I need all of the love languages to be happy. Why do they make us take a test to pick our favorite when I genuinely want all of them?
Do I even dream to live in a home? I know I want a family, and I wish that I could have an untraditional one as well. One where we could take our children abroad for a couple of years to learn various cultures and languages.
I would love that. I don't want to be stuck in one area. I wish that my parnter could travel with me. If I stay with my quartine boo, I don't think it would be possible. He likes or only knows hand on labor. I wouldn't be able to bring him abroad and have him still keep his job.
Working remote has its perks that I am excited to use when I visit Hawaii with a friend. But how does it work if I decide to move in with my ex quarantine boo? Paying rent just sounds so dreadful sometimes -- but also I miss them and want to try to work things out.
I've been dating for 6 months to find no luck ! And that is unheard for me- given there is a pandemic so I guess I have an excuse. And I am also working from home, so meeting people has proven difficult.
The ones I meet, I seem to just not like. They either aren't interested in me enough, or they are too interested in a way I don't like or appreciate. It's never a win win.
If the universe decides that I should be reunited with my quarantine boo then I'll accept it.
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