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Turning Fat During The Pandemic

it sucks.

By ChantelPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
Turning Fat During The Pandemic
Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

Everyone's worse nightmare or maybe it's just mine... but I've gained over 10 pounds since this pandemic started and I hate looking at my body now. I was once a track and cross country girl who always looked good in a bikini and could pull off bralettes.

By Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Now I just feel fat and disgusting when I look in a mirror and see what I've done to my past self. I look at old photographs of the fit, beautiful younger me just 2 years ago. The girl has clear skin, is physically fit, and is actually happy with who she is and where she was at.

By Kalegin Michail on Unsplash

Now not only have I gained 10 pounds, but I also got mask acne and am no longer as socially connected with friends my age.

I feel like I am in a rut and I want to change! But how?

I have just started a remote job, my first one during this whole pandemic. And I must say, I really miss working with people in person. Now I understand what everyone meant by how hard it was for them during the pandemic.

I had a quarantine boo who actually left 6 months ago and I've been relearning what it is to be myself and I don't know if I like it.

By Jakob Rosen on Unsplash

I'm used to occupying my time all the time and have even looked to craigslist to fill this void. I did a research study for some extra cash, started a cleaning side gig, and am planning to work a farmers market for the first time.

I had an interview with people who work at a management company for staffing and that is actually the job I wanted prior to covid.

Before Covid, I was always the friend who would find unique events to go to with her friends. Covid may have made that side of me die down for a bit, but today was one of the first days that I remembered her.

The one good thing Covid has done for is force me to save. I am in a much better financial stand point then I would have been had covid not happen. For that I am thankful for.

By 金 运 on Unsplash

At the moment I am trying to decide what I want from my life.

I have an old lover who we agreed to see where we are at the end of the year to see if we would like to be together.

But if I didn't decide to move with him when I had the chance 6 months ago, what makes me think I will be able to in 12 months?

I tell myself that the reason I didn't leave was because of financial reasons- but the reality is if I really wanted to, I could have.

I just didn't want to pay rent, gas, ect. This year alone I was able to grow my investment account by 25k since December and that was because I decided to stay when my lover left.

I relearned what it is to be alone and altho I still feel lonely when I come home to myself at night, I am more comfortable in it then I was when we first ended things.

I've learned to go about my day without contacting him. And I've learned that I can really hate dating sometimes.

By Maxim Ilyahov on Unsplash

Honestly I only put myself out there during vacation because that is when I feel like it is necessary. Tour guides who have been born and raised from that city know all the best spots that I wouldn't have been able to find on my own.

I still think about them. I constantly have random flashbacks to my previous life experiences- is this because I am not enjoying my own at the moment? So much so that I must transport my mind elsewhere to avoid the current moment?


About the Creator


I range from social justice issues to sexuality articles, all depends on my mood.

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