Why Men Don’t Cry in Front of Women

“I want to be protected and cared for.”

This is what Mike’s girlfriend said to him as he broke down in front of her.

Just because a man is acting emotionally vulnerable, it doesn’t mean he can’t protect or care for you. Men are allowed to have emotional moments, and that doesn’t make them less of a man.

Mike continues, “I certainly get overly emotional at times, but I would drop everything — emotion and thoughts — just to protect and take care of the people in my life… I still cry when I’m happy or sad. But I try my best not to make the people I love worry, so I hold it in if I can.”

Before I continue, I feel like this content needs a caveat: These are merely experiences of two men I know personally and should not be taken as an in-depth study of women’s reactions by large.

Also, shout out to Hank for providing most of this content. Hank was kind enough to share his collection of experiences crying in front of women over the years.

At the age of six, Hank started to realize the burden of being born a male. He shares,

“My mother would not tolerate me crying as a child. I thought it was unfair since my little sister was allowed to cry whenever she wanted. It was infuriating how she would fake cry to get what she wanted and how I would get disciplined.”

Hank talks about his experience in school,

“I was a really sensitive child. I recall a lot of times when I bawled my eyes out in front of everyone in class. And every time I did, I was chastised by almost all my teachers who were all female. No one comforted me, and the other kids would avoid me. I was told to leave the room or stand in the hallway until I get over it. It was lonely. I was a kid with undiagnosed ADHD. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do things right like everyone else. I had to try really hard and I would get overwhelmed, and that’s when I’d cry. No one was there for me, but I managed to move on each time.”

These were Hanks’ childhood years. Now that he’s older, he shares that he no longer cries, especially in front of women.

“I mostly recall negative experiences whenever I cried in front of a woman. I have not cried since then. It’s a logical choice considering all my life it’s never resulted in a positive outcome. But if I had to be honest, it’s not just logic that’s stopping me from crying. It’s just now I am physically unable to do it.”

“There are countless times when I feel like crying. But it’s been so long since I felt like anyone would care, so I just brush it off.”

It’s depressing having to hear these men talk about their experiences and how they can no longer be vulnerable with the women in their lives in fear of being judged and ridiculed. Things need to change. I don’t know how, but talking about it is the first step.

Share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to know what you think.

And if you have any solutions to offer, your suggestions are more than welcome. There are some communities for men that offer emotional support. But for areas that doesn't have these kinds of communities, I suggest opening up to close friends that offer safe spaces. Be strong!