Why I Loved Being A Mistress

I was climbing the corporate ladder quickly at the "AAA" rated banking institute I had been working for just under ten years. Without a college education I had to work from the bottom, as a clerk, to the current position I was in as an auditor. My reputation had been built on my system and product knowledge. Which put me in numerous projects as the lead analyst. Giving me a hand up into a world of Managers, GM's and CEOs that had no clue about the inside process but knew it was something that required immediate attention and an expert to ensure nothing fell through.

This is where my name became well-known. Not only did I know the systems but I was on the project and legal calls to ensure anything that was added, removed, or tweaked within the system would not break any other risk or compliance issues that were built-in. For the first time in all the years I had stayed late, worked weekends, added paper to copy machines, grabbed coffees, or took meeting minutes for managers that made me feel uneducated and below them, I was finally feeling like a pretty big deal in the land of Corporate Banking. It also wasn't just in my hometown. My presence was being requested in our sister sites, which meant I was given a company card and plane tickets to travel frequently.

My personal life was also reaching some big milestones. My husband and I were getting ready to celebrate our six-year wedding anniversary. Our children were active in boy scouts, soccer, band, and so many other events that were not pre-planned. I loved being a wife, mother, daughter, niece, and granddaughter. There were also deep friendships I had made within the workforce that continued to grow along with my years of service. The personal cell phone I was using was upgraded to one required and paid for by the business. This was to ensure I could be reached at any moment to advise on current issues or questions Management may have.

A major acquisition had just been announced and this meant all the "top of the ladder" Managers were being demoted, displaced, or forced into retirement while the acquired bank's Management team was taking over for both banks under our name. The tension in the building could be felt by every team member in every department as we waited for the announcements on who would be named for the replacements.

My role was safe as I already was a one-off in the building. This meant I was physically in one location but my team and manager were located in a different building and state. By having me onsite it meant less travel for them and the ability to still work hands-on with the teams being audited. It helped to put a feel-good spin on the role I was in. I could proactively find risk and compliance issues within the departments and then work with the team members hands-on with training to ensure everything they were docked on was resolved.

This is how he and I met. He was assigned the role of managing all the managers in his site location and now all the managers that were located at mine. With all the changes that were made. He wanted to spend a week at the site to learn about the teams and all the managers that now were reporting to him. Because of the nature of my role, he had requested to meet with me to discuss any concerns I had or recommendations for process improvements. For me, this was just another meeting with another "Big Wig" that had no actual understanding of the processes or procedures. I was just an item on their task list that they needed to be able to check off as completed in order to reach the set goals established by their Manager.

March 26th I headed to the conference room with my printed copies of my current risk findings and recommend resolutions. I had my water bottle, notepad, and favorite pen in hand. When I walked into the conference room, the room lighting seemed to be brighter. I was thrown off a little when I realized it was just going to be him and me for the review. For most meetings the conference room table would be filled with Managers and other visitors ready to listen to me read the findings to them that could have easily been sent in an email.

He was wearing a blue long sleeve buttoned-up shirt with a matching tie. His hair was cut military style. He wore a thick gold band on his left hand, ring finger. As I walked into the room, he stood up from his chair and reached out his hand to shake mine, as he formally introduced himself to me. His hand was soft and yet his grip was firm. Nothing like the "Big Wig" I had envisioned him to be. He didn't come across as cocky, or have an overwhelming smell of overpriced cologne. His presence was warm, calming, and yet, as I sat across from him, my body began to tremble. He must have sensed it because he quickly began to speak.

He started out by telling me about himself and his leadership style. As I stared at him, the window behind where he was sitting seemed to be bright, with flowers in bloom in the grass. There were rabbits playing in the distance and the most beautiful blue sky I have seen or noticed in a while. It was gorgeous outside!

My observations of the sights happening outside the window were interrupted by him saying "You have the bluest eyes I have ever seen". Caught off guard by his comment, I simply responded, "thanks"! I handed him a copy of the printed risk findings I was ready to review and I swear it felt like time had stopped. He grab up for the copy of the paper and his hand touched mine. He didn't pull back and I didn't let go. Whatever was happening at that moment was not something I had experienced before. I found myself stuck with words to properly use and sounding stupid with every sentence I tried to form. I even forgot what my business title was and the manager's name I reported to.

The more he asked personal questions about my life. The more I became guarded and let him know I was happily married, and not interested in sharing details other than the review findings. Before I knew it, the blue sky outside the window behind him had turned to night. The building was almost empty as it was several hours past our scheduled meeting time and it was a Friday night. Everyone had clocked out and was in a hurry to begin their weekend. It had been hours and we had yet to complete my findings.

As we walked out of the conference room towards my cubicle area, our bodies were side by side and touching. As if there was an energy that was so strong it was pulling us towards one another. He thanked me for the copies of my findings and for my time. He would be flying out of town bright and early in the morning. I am not sure what really took place in that conference room but whatever it was. I felt like I was walking on air and this sense of happiness was consuming me.

I was curious as to the chemistry and feelings I had felt being near him. I searched on the internet for the compatibility of a Leo woman and Scorpio man. The results were pretty intense. So, I went outside of my professional role and emailed him my findings. I left the sexual compatibility piece out of my initial email as I didn't want him to think I was being out of line or inappropriate. I clocked out, and headed home for the weekend.

I found myself thinking about him often that weekend. I couldn't wait to return to work on Monday to see what his response was to the email I sent. I worried if I would be in trouble for sending such a personal email to him. In the moments after our meeting, it felt okay and wasn't something I even questioned. Days later, I arrived to work earlier than normal. My hair was curled and I was wearing a spring dress. I felt more confident than usual and wanted to look my best.

As I eagerly logged into my computer I nervously waited for my email to load. He had responded to me! In fact, he had done so in the early hours as he boarded his flight. I guess I forgot he had access to work systems on his phone. He found the email to be fun and very informative. As I found myself smiling ear to ear... an instant message popped up on my laptop. It was him! "Good Morning, Montana"! I wasn't certain as to where he was currently located so I simply responded "Hey, You, Good Morning"!

Our instant messaging conversations took up most of my day. Most were work-related questions and others were not. Either way, I was looking forward to hearing from him. During project calls, he would call me out for updates or ask me to provide recommendations. It was fun as no one had any idea of the friendship we had begun. When he had breaks from meetings I would head to my car to call him. As he was in a different time zone, he would call me on his way to work, and I would call him on my way home from mine. The hours we spent talking were the highlights of my day. I couldn't get enough of his leadership advice, personal growth suggestions and schedule 1:1 time as his onsite visits began to become more frequent and for weeks at a time.

You wouldn't hear me complaining about the additional time.

The first time he and I met after work, he took me for a drive in his rental car. I showed him where my parents lived, the high school I went to, etc. It was great to give him that perspective of who I was. When he parked back at his hotel and got out to walk me to my car. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I was wearing heels and he was still taller than me. His embrace felt so secure.

He suddenly wasn't the Manager of the Managers at that moment. He was my best friend. When he pulled me in even closer towards his body and leaned forward to kiss me. I had no reservations. At that moment, on that sidewalk in the middle of my hometown... it was just him and I! Our bodies as tight as they could be together and his lips caressing mine. His tenderness was matched with my shyness and nothing mattered to me at that moment. I didn't want him to let me go. Our bodies fit so perfectly in the embrace. I couldn't wait to see him again. As I drove home I couldn't help but smile. There was something so powerful, yet so taboo. I knew it was wrong in every way but I was too far in at this point to walk away.

I couldn't nor did I want to!

The next morning I was at work looking my business casual best. I knew there were several meetings I was scheduled to attend that he was leading. Walking from my car to the front doors of work, he was too just arriving but was with a group of other Managers he was traveling with. They all said good morning to me and we walked inside together. Knowing he and I kissed the night before and yet, no one else having any idea, was a different kind of rush than I had felt before. He was so handsome, with a brilliant mind, a fresh perspective, and had a presence with the team members. He was well-liked and everyone looked forward to him coming to town.

I also did too, but for other reasons!

Now his business trips included taking on top secret dates. Our soon to be favorite noodle place. The impromptu road trips filled with so many inside stories. Ones created and only known by us! I will admit there we a few moments that initially felt bad to my core. Those moments when he would have to make his nightly check in call to his "room-mate" aka. His wife. With his hand on my thigh, he would look away from me as he would say his "I love you's" to his family. His real life.

Those reality bites left marks.

In the shape of red nibble marks on the inside of my inner thighs. My world had become consumed by fantasy. I no longer was living in the state of mind of professional business woman or devoted mother and wife. I was focused on the next phone call, text message and dates of his scheduled business trips to my home town!

I knew I was falling and at a fast rate of speed. He knew it too. I will never forget the phone call from him (standing in a busy airport) to tell me that he would let me go. It was important to him I understood that he was not going to keep me. At some point I was going to need to start reliving my old life. The way it was before him. "I will let you go, I will watch you walk away in the arms of another guy".

I will never forget how badly my stomach turned. It was a horrible feeling that stuck in my brain and gut. I instantly was reminded that I was nothing more than a home-wrecking, slut! Gah!

Maybe it was my innocent nature or being a hopeless romantic to my core. Whatever it was... it had me believing him and I could be much more. It took months for this to pass. To not cross my mind or have me overthinking everything again for the millionth time. I reached a point it no longer was an issue. If you remove a problem from the equation, it makes the answers simpler. Less complicated.

I was nothing more than a mistress.

Well, if I no longer had to play the role of "lady like" girl friend or even have a chance at being the next wife. This meant I could live out the role of the sexy, secret, other woman. The one that could blow up his phone and his mind with over the top sexy pictures. So raw and reveling. Unlike any I have taken before. To know when did come to town next he would always be excited to see me. Eager to ravage me with his build up of mental images.

I still had my best friend to vent to and share my life with during our daily phone calls. I still had my mentor behind the scenes to help guide me to becoming a Manager. I had dates that were planned out by him with our favorite foods and places to eat. I had the best of everything with him. Without having to deal with budgets, household problems, or his lack of presence with his new role within his family. I didn't have to deal with any of the harsh real life realities. I became his escape and he became my fantasy, Both of us living in a world consumed by secret dreams and passions.

It was then I realized I truly loved being a mistress. His lover. His secret everything. I loved it all. Every inch of him.