Who Out Here is Consciously Evolving?
Asking for a friend :-)
I began this journey back in 2012. Unknown by me at the time, this was also the end of the Mayan calendar. The beginning of a NEW AGE. The Age of Light.
I finalized my divorce that year and moved into my own studio apartment. I was living in Germany thriftly traveling around Europe. I bought my first journal since I was a preteen and began writing...
"Hi. I am not sure who I am even writing to. Am I talking to myself? Is someone else listening? I am not sure why we do this, but here I am. Desperately seeking peace of mind and following my intuition in a world that does not honor such a way of living. WHAT NOW?"
I found a new loving interest in crystals and tarot. I became keenly interested in history, healing, and eastern philosophies. I went hard in all of these things, investing what felt like stolen time to learn and apply and repeat. I wanted to heal the world, yes. But really, I just wanted to heal myself.
I've learned that the veil between myself and the world is nothing more than a thin illusion. And to heal myself might just heal the world around me.
Even when I've been deep down on my luck, laying low in a puddle of my own tears on the floor of my cold apartment, I knew there was no other way. There was no turning back. I had to keep going, keep validating myself in a world that wasn't ready to validate me yet. In a world that expected to see me fail. I wasn't playing by their rules. No status quo. I knew that was a dead end.
Even when I wanted to jump ship and get in line, so to speak, it never worked. The hours I spent seeking a bearable 9-5 or trying to start a business when I was supposed to be healing only made the journey longer. It only set me miles out of my way, to which I had to crawl back and continue on every time. My inner GPS saying "turn around up here and go back", all the while adding time and wasting gas.
In navigating the emotional human experience I did not realize I was also setting my own rules for how this gets to look and feel.
I assumed it had to be a struggle. That I had to make grave sacrifices and steal time to heal and grow. But that's just not fucking true. It took me until just yesterday to realize...
I get to feel the full range of every emotion, and still live in my true abundance. I do not need to get somewhere special to live and experience this world.
My soul is here to expand in this sensory emotional 3D experience on Earth. How that looks and feels is up to me.
I am allowed to feel angry at the world and appreciate it's abundance at the same time.
I am allowed to BE exactly as I am.
I am allowed to meditate by day and drink wine by night.
I am allowed to do yoga and dance.
I am allowed to feel orgasmic ecstasy in any and all ways without shame.
I am allowed to change, grow, and heal while honoring that space for others.
The point is to live. To express. To feel compassion and love for all things. To see God in all things. To value and honor my soul's journey. To be empowered.
So for anybody out there on this journey, I just wanted you to know I feel you. I honor you. I value you. And I deeply thank you. For you are the quiet light warriors bringing us all to an elevated space of consciousness that we all deeply desire. Stars on Earth.
I love you. Make sure you enjoy this life. I know I will.