who i am

I’m a little shy but I can’t not join Kayleigh’s challenge https://vocal.media/confessions/get-to-know-me-challenge. I’m not even sure who I am so it’s gonna be fun trying to explain it to y’all but I hope I can do this.

1. I’m a gym rat.

My relationship with food and my body has always been complicated. Working out has not fixed me but it has definitely quieted my body dysmorphia. The gym is my safe place, my dance floor, and where I challenge myself. My day is not complete without training. To me, movement is joy.

2. I love love that hurts.

A lot of my poetry is about falling in love with the wrong people because that’s all I know how to do. I think it is because I do not get along with ordinary. Nothing in my world is vanilla. I love hard and I love deep. The extreme amount of passion that I have often scares people away.

I am not afraid of darkness; I hugely prefer it. I am most creative when I am hurting so I allow people to hurt me. I hope to learn to connect with myself even when I am not in pain.

3. I’m a car girl.

I drive a car with a manual transmission and I am MADLY in love with it. I don’t know much about cars, I just drive them and test their limits 😝. A perfect day is speeding down the highway with all of my windows open while I crank dubstep at ear splitting volumes. I can change my own tires and oil, I absolutely LOVE getting my hands greasy and black. I’m learning how to ride a motorcycle right now and I can’t wait to get one of my own.

4. I’m Jewish and proud.

Even though I am no longer religious, I love my heritage. I speak Yiddish and Hebrew fluently and celebrate major holidays.

5. I’m a caffeine addict.

I drink my coffee very black and I drink lots of it.

6. I love fashion.

I enjoy expressing myself through the clothes I wear. Getting dressed is an art to me, and I take it (too) seriously. My bank account hates me, I swear.

I have a very distinct style. Most of my clothes are black, red, or white. Jewelry must be silver. I like leather and chains and biker jackets. The mens’ section is where it’s at ;).

7. I don’t know how to calm down.

I feel like there’s a storm in my soul. I thrive under chaos. Calm is an unfamiliar feeling I do not know how to embrace.

8. I have really cool tattoos.

It’s part of my whole self expression endeavor. No, I don’t regret any of them (yet). I got my first one when I was 18, a little heart on my 4th finger. I haven’t stopped since.

9. My favorite place is the ocean.

Home is where the heart is and mine is with the waves. There’s something about the sound of the ocean and the dance of the waves that makes me feel understood?, somehow. I went surfing once and it changed my life. I hope to explore that passion more in the future.

10. I am studying to become doctor.

It doesn’t really fit with my whole “free spirit” personality but I really hope to be a doctor one day. Biology helped my fall in love with myself and I want to help other people discover that.

I appreciate being part of such an awesome community of creators. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me and showing my poetry so much love. I love you all 🫶.