When the whole church seen my period

I was 13 years old so this happened like almost 14 years ago to the day. However, it was embarrassing on so many levels! Why?:

-I was praise dancing in front of the whole church (praise dance is a performance where you dance to spiritual music)

-I was in a baby blue dress (oh my God it was a light color! Think of the sky)

-My crush seen it (I had a huge crush on this guy at church and I know he seen the performance because his sister was on stage dancing as well)

-It was a huge celebration (Happy Easter)

So onto the story. Easter is a huge holiday in the Christian community, especially in the black community. There was going to be a lot of special events at church that day and it was something that many people looked forward to. I was going to wear my white dress that was actually cute but age appropriate for a 13 year old. We had bought that dress for the occasion. My mom was an Usher and she takes that very seriously. Meanwhile my dad was a deacon. So yeah this was important to them as well. They wanted me to be involved in the church for a long time since they are active in church as well but I was (and still am) the type of person where I don’t want to be involved in church; I just attend and leave.

I was already involved in the choir and I always felt like an outcast wherever I was because I was a weird kid and a loner. My parents told me that they wanted me to do praise dance for Easter. I reluctantly agreed because I didn’t want to hear them ask me for one more time.

I joined at the last minute but since I took dance classes before, I was able to catch up. While I was starting to come out of my shell and began to actually talk to people, I was still a little nervous because I didn’t want to mess up. I am very clumsy (I literally tripped at my high school graduation!). Anyways, a week before Easter, our dresses were here. Yes, it was a light blue dress that was very pretty, but since I was developed for my age, it had cleavage. My mom had to do a little adjustment which made me feel a little uncomfortable but I dealt with it.

It was the day. Easter finally arrived. I had already felt a little ill and started to have a little bit of cramps but I didn’t want to leave at the last minute. I told my mom and she asked if I was okay. I had cramps, but I figured that I wouldn’t get my period until after the ceremony (I was 13; I didn’t know better). I honestly thought my body knew how to wait. The ceremony went back on, I came on stage and I was spinning around, doing the dance routine like intended. I went off, everything seemed fine, but my mother said “I need to fix the back of your dress now!” I told her, I don’t have time. I am supposed to be on stage in 30 seconds. I think my mother was trying to be discreet because she was whispering but I ran back on again. She tried to stop me and tell me, but I had to get back on immediately. My scene was over and everything seemed okay. Until my mother told me why I needed to get off stage.

“Honey, I was trying to fix your dress because blood was on the back of it”

I. Freaked. Out.

I turned around and it wasn’t a small amount. It was literally the size of a baby’s hand. The worse part, I know everyone seen it, because my mom was at the very back of the church. The girls seen it, including my crush’s sister, but they seen it when my mother pointed it out. I was so embarrassed that I cried in the bathroom. I never let people see me cry, but I couldn’t help it. My parents took me home to shower and relax. My dad didn’t know what to say but he tried to make me feel better. Some people asked why we were leaving early; some of the women in the church already knew and tried to make me feel better.

My pretty dress was ruined. I couldn’t wear my white dress at all. The whole church seen it and I am sure some of the girls not only were talking about it when I left, but probably mentioned to their parents. I thought that this couldn’t get any worse...

Until I realized that my crush and his family were coming over for dinner. This was planned for weeks so it wasn’t something last minute. I was already nervous but after the ceremony, I was mortified. I had on my gym shorts and a big t-shirt. The fact that they were coming over and we couldn’t cancel. I had just wished that I could escape the world. When they came over, you could tell they knew but were just going to play along. My crush said he thought we did great. The dinner wasn’t so awkward afterwards, but everyone was wearing their Easter clothes while I looked like I just left gym class.

It has been so long that this had occurred. While it still haunts me, I can easily say that it no longer traumatizes me. I decided to share my pain and to let people know that yes, while this is an embarrassment, it was not the end of the world for me. I hope that while you empathize my pain, you also had a good laugh!