What Happened When I Tried Yoga

Ah, yoga...the mentally healing, body shaping, "relaxation" invoking work out that people have come to know and love. I thought about trying yoga plenty of times and even did a little beginner's poses in my living room when no one else was watching, fully knowing how ridiculous I looked. I have always been a bit of a "bigger" girl; meaning I have curves for days, especially in the hip area. When I was younger and had a metabolism that actually worked, I was flexible and could do a lot more things now than my body will let me do. I am a 28-year old trapped in the body of someone much older as I sound like a bowl of rice krispies when I stand up and frequently can't move if I sit on the floor to play with my daughter, cats or the dog for more than 5 minutes (probably actually 2 but I was giving myself the benefit of the doubt). These issues being a result of 10+ years of constantly being on my feet in uncomfortable shoes on concrete floors; not something that is too forgiving on the joints and back.

Now, after knowing that my body doesn't move the way some of these poses require and that my thighs and hips are thicker than thieves, I knew that trying to do any of the more difficult poses would simply not work, however, I let my best friend talk me into going to a Yoga class when I was visiting her. I was, admittedly, more nervous than a gazelle surrounded by a pack of vegan lions but I accepted the invite and went anyway. We started our journey by doing a pre-yoga work out in the gym first, just to get our blood pumping and stretch out a little bit. I should have stayed in the gym in hindsight. When it was finally time for our class, I had to use one of their yoga mats since I don't own one (and never will). I was a little less than thrilled, knowing that other people had been using this mat and, well, who knows how well they cleaned off all that sweat. A few of the poses required me to be nose-to-mat and let me tell you, it smelled like an armpit that hadn't been washed in a month or even been met with deodorant and my stomach churned.

I spent the rest of the time attempting, and utterly failing, to do the poses that let me stay in the upright position, keeping my nose as far away from that mat as possible. That only helped for so long though as everyone started to sweat and the scent of B.O lingered in the room. Yeah, this was not the yoga where they lit the incents and made sure everyone was keeping up; no, this was intense yoga that no beginner should ever be a part of, unless they are into self punishment and sore bodies. After about 3 hard poses, losing my balance and then CHOOSING to stay nose-to-mat because I was just done trying to be more flexible than I was and am pretty sure I pulled a muscle on that last pose, I was less relaxed than when we had started; but, wasn't relaxation the point of yoga? Isn't that why we were here?

Finally, the torture was over! It was time to leave! I jumped up faster than I ever had before, pretty sure I pulled another muscle doing so, cleaned off my mat better than it had been prior and ran out of there, shoes and belongings in hand. Outside of the B.O scented room, I put my shoes on and kind of melted into the bench, chugging the water from my water bottle and waited for my friend to come out of the yoga studio. She sat beside me, asking how I liked the class and I just glared at her with the most disdainful look I could manage through the head-spinning that I was now experiencing from the quick cool-down of leaving the hot studio minutes prior. She laughed at the look I gave her. "That bad, huh?" she asked me, ushering me up and back to the locker room to gather our belongings. "I can assure you, I will never be doing yoga again" I replied with a huffed chuckle, making it clear that I was not joking.

We collected her kids and headed out to the car, the children telling of their adventures in the kids room at the gym and the oldest having done his own workout. I was silent, I was hot and sore, and I was actually kind of upset with my friend who had promised me this was an easy, beginner's class that she had signed us up for since she knew I wasn't a yoga person. While driving, she glanced in my direction a few times with her piercing brown eyes, giving me the look she knew would get me talking and I finally gave in. I expressed my frustration and told her that I was more sore than before I went to this class that was made to "loosen" me up. She giggled at me a little bit and gave me her sarcastic apology (it could have been genuine, but the infliction in her voice said otherwise) knowing I was going to forgive her anyway. Just in case I was still holding a grudge though, she pulled off into a parking lot and pointed across, showing me where she had just brought me; and there it was, the skyline of NYC, one of my favorite places on the planet.

She knew. I knew she knew because we had been friends for so long. She absolutely knew that if she brought me to this location and let me stare at the beautiful, fully lit skyline of the city I loved so much (especially at night), I would hold no more grudge against her. I love that she knows me well enough to melt any of the anger that I may hold, no matter who it is toward. Usually, she just uses logic with me to make me understand if y anger is misguided or if I rushed to react to a situation. This though, is one thing that I will never let happen again; she will never be able to convince me to "try yoga" at any other point in my life, no matter how much I trust her in any other situation!

Thanks for reading! As always, tips are never required, but deeply appreciated. Also, sharing is also deeply appreciated! I will read and share yours if you read and share mine!