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Unwanted Words From An Unwanted Baby

A spoken account of a baby almost not born.

By YumanewPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
1

In a time of abortion bills and crazy fights against the government for women, I found out something about myself back in my senior year of college. It was 2019 and I had the random thought to talk to my mom. I called her after class and we just had a normal conversation. My mom and I did not really have a good relationship with good boundaries to not get into arguments. The thought came up to me and I said “Mom I am old enough now and I want to ask what happened to my dad?” She paused for a bit before asking me why would I want to know now. I just looked at the table before answering again. “I just thought I should know now.” She said “Well when I found out I was pregnant with you, I told the guy I was with about my pregnancy. He was not really happy about the news. He gave me two options for what to do. He said ‘I could either get rid of you and stay with him or keep you and he leaves me.’ So I decided to keep you.”

After hearing the true story I wanted to cry. To sound like a broken record, my mom and I never had a perfect relationship. We argued a lot about anything. It took years for us to even be able to talk on the phone for a long time. I am happy we can now after my constant therapy and just being separated from her. I live with my boyfriend in another city. It felt weird to me to be in the demograph of babies that were meant to be killed at such a young age.

All those years of me even wanting to track him down, to try to talk with him on why he left my mom, and my pediatrician even offered to help me find him. It was a long journey in my now 25 year span to have my dream come true. Now I don’t even want him. I am glad he left because I would have had a dad who didn’t even want me. To even hear about the truth and just now feel disappointment for that man. He didn’t even know the many years at my private school at those Father’s Day events of seeing everybody bring their dads. Every year I would ask my mom what happened to my dad. I would sit through those different stories of random men who could possibly be my father. I would tell my friends and they would get confused on what brand new story I had for them that day. It got so tiresome. I felt like a burden asking my mom about my dad.

When abortion started becoming a big topic again, I swore that if I ever got married. I would not want to have a child until my significant other and me are financially well off. My boyfriend and I have talked about having kids in the past. The goal is to be financially stable because it would be cruel to raise a child without the proper funds. I want to best life for my future child and the best dad in the world. Not all dads are wanting to make the choice of leaving their significant other during this time of need. I am still glad I had a male figure in my life. I had my uncles who would come and go, my main uncle out of the four would try to be a good male figure, my brother really did all the work, and lastly my brother’s dad would help out whenever I saw him. I wasn’t completely along. On Father’s Day I would get my mom a gift and tell her happy Father’s Day.

To my dad who never wanted me, I am glad you left. I have an amazing mom who went through so much just to keep me happy.

Childhood
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About the Creator

Yumanew

Hello welcome to my little page. I am mostly a horror movie reviewer, but I will write some different things. I am more of a beginner writer and just do hope to have good things out of becoming a writer.

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran2 years ago

    This was so touching. And I'm so glad your mom kept you

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