The Secrets That We Keep - A Confession To My Mother

Setting The Scene of My Vocal Mother's Day Confession Challenge

This story is tor The Mother’s Day Confessions Vocal Challenge presided over by Vee Rivera, Britni Church and Emily Meagher which you can find more about here.

My Mother died in 1990 of a heart attack and stroke which she suffered at Christmas the following year at the age of 49. She went from being young and vivacious to an old almost bedridden woman overnight, she was like a completely different person physically when I saw her in hospital, but her mind was still the same as we spoke and I held her hand.

I still talk with her often, or maybe I talk with her memory but I feel like I am talking with her when I do.

Part of this is that she taught me to read before I hit primary school, she and my dad ( who is still with me) had a lot of common ground in music (hence using the Mud song "The Secrets That You Keep" as the lead in to this story, a favourite of ours) but also a lot that was anything but common ground and I had a very good upbringing resulting in a lot of the fact I am who I am today, so if you like me you owe some thanks to her.

My Vocal Mother's Day Confessions (There Are A Few)

The first thing is something difficult, but I have disowned my brother even though he was your favourite, because of his cruelty to you you and my dad and a lot of other people. I tried a couple of times at reconciliation but he just then sees that as an easy touch to take advantage of people, but he is very at pretending to be a perfect friend until he reverts to type.

That’s out of the way.

Next up is at school I often took days off and then when we went back we had to take a letter of explanation. I wrote a few of those and forged your signature on them. I don’t know if the school believed me, but they never said anything and you never said anything so I may have got away with it. When I passed my “O” and “A” Levels you congratulated me and said “You Can Only Do Your Best” that is something that I have always kept with me.

Another difficult one was while you were apparently recovering from your heart attack and stroke I got a job offer in Newcastle which meant moving from Preston and taking your wonderful granddaughters with me. If you had been well it would have been just a 150 mile car journey, and my dad loves coming up here and knows that you would too. You now have a great-granddaughter, Alexis, and this is me and my dad and her, waiting for an ambulance after he had shattered his knee after falling on the way to our local Italian restaurant. He is recovering and talks about you a lot and has a picture of you in his wallet.

You supported me when I got hit by ITP and were there for me every day, and when Juliet was on the terminal ward at Manchester Pendleton Children’s Hospital (thank god she was not having any of it and is doing brilliantly today forty years on), but I still haven’t told my dad about my liver cancer even though it’s been cut out, but I am waiting for an all-clear before I tell him though I feel that it has been sorted now.

I have cleared a few things here and hope you are still Ok with me Mum

I Love You