The "Pet Peeve" Edition

Two years into this and everyone is annoyed, right? What were once minor grievances have now escalated to anger inducing tantrums. I don't go out much, but I did on Thursday. It had snowed, the roads were slippery and drivers had to be extra vigilant. I saw a small car (I mean small enough that even a child could reach the roof) coming towards me and the only snow that had been removed was what the windshield wipers had pushed off. A while ago, I would have just rolled my eyes. Three days ago, I saw fit to yell obscenities (pointless, I know - no one could hear me) and flip him the bird.

Yes, I know this is irrational. I can make excuses... I mean, today is my anniversary and Monday is my birthday. This is the second year in a row that our province has been on lockdown on MY days... boohoo poor me. No weekend away, no dinner in a fancy restaurant. What is wrong with me? We are home- safe, together. Brian will make me a fancy dinner. We can watch a movie on our giant TV with a zillion surround sound speakers. All of this is better than a crowded restaurant with strangers coughing all over everything, right?

It did get me thinking, though, and I asked for people to share their pet peeves with me. I wanted to know what's sending folks over the edge these days... maybe a hundred years down the road  - in the next pandemic - researchers can use this to help when they create a vaccine to cure the emotional stress. You know, one that will turn us all into mindless cattle... going through the motions with no voice of our own.

I'm feeling a little interactive today, so I'm going to list (anonymously and in no particular order) the peeves of my readers and my own reaction to each. I encourage you to comment on a specific one, or share your own. This'll be fun... trust me! *Wink wink*

1) Negativity

Okay, I'm not sure I should get started on this one, but here goes. People - if your life sucks, change it! Stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility for yourself. You hate your job? Find a new one. You are obviously qualified to do something.. and there is a country wide staffing shortage in almost every field. Get off your ass. You have financial crisis? There are free financial counsellors everywhere...  And a few tips from me that you didn't ask for.. If you smoke a pack a day, that's $5500 a year. How much is that? Well, it's a year's car payment on something really nice! Or a down payment on a $110,000 mini-home, or a year's worth of groceries for a college student.  Are you whiny about your weight? You can change that, too... a caramel macchiato and chocolate chip muffin for breakfast every day will cost you - $4k and 40 pounds for sure..

But sanctimonious bitching aside, what good does it do you to harbor negativity? It only hurts your health, your relationships and your overall sense of self. Newsflash... if you see the worst in everything, no one will want to be around you.

2) Undeserved celebrity.

How much do you know about Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Do you even know what she looked like? Now how about Paris Hilton or the Kardashians? I rest my case. And if you don't understand, please stop reading now.

3) Stupidity

No comment

4) People holding up the line at the gas station because they're buying pull tab lottery tickets.

We've all been here. I have somewhere to be. I just want to pay for my F***ing gas! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR MONEY AND MY TIME!!! But really, people, have a little consideration. Do you enjoy waiting in traffic because of rubber-neckers stopping to check out the carnage? No - you don't. How is this any different? Except that if you make me wait another second, YOU might be the carnage. Oops. My negativity is showing...

5) Self check outs

I get it... we are spending our hard earned money, we shouldn't have to do all the work, too, right? BUT, on the flip side... things move a lot faster seeing as no one wants to work retail these days.

6) Idiot drivers and tailgaters

Well, this is where we started, isn't it? I've lived all around the country and I have to say, there are idiots on every road. When in BC, they say "Alberta drivers", and in Alberta, "BC drivers". Here in Fredericton, there are thousands of drivers over the age of 70 and 3 or 4 fairly new roundabouts that older people have trouble understanding... I'm not going to lie, It's a hazard. BUT... I've been to Beijing, so I'm not going to complain about little ole New Brunswick.

But, people, if you're changing lanes... for God's sake, USE YOUR SIGNAL

7) Knots. The person who volunteered this one has a very specific peeve... so much so that I'm pretty sure she only ever let her kids wear runners with velcro.

Umm... my friend? I have a few necklaces that could use an untangling. You up for the job? (Me... running for my life)

8) Toilet seat left up.

Okay, gents. Here is your public service message from "women of a certain age". We ALL have to pee in the middle of the night. All of us - every night. Out of consideration for YOU, we try to do it with the light off so as not to wake you. WE HATE FALLING IN!!!! And while we are at it... we would rather you not pee in the dark, men, because your marksmanship is less than stellar, if you catch my drift..

9) Cracking knuckles

You know who you are... and you aggravate us all. Trust me.

10) Strangers walking too close beside or behind you

So this has been less of an issue for the last two years, but really, people. If you're not my partner or my dog, get the fuck out of my bubble.

11) Superiority

Yes! We've learned this year that the workers who really matter are those ones (some of) you used to look down on. What do you need to survive? Food, health care, gas... who do we need the most? Farmers, store clerks, gas station attendants, custodial staff! Let's go back to *cringe* High School for a minute. All those jocks and cheerleaders looking down on the nerds? Who's laughing now? (It's the nerds... in case that passed you by)

12) Grammar

This one was VERY popular. Some examples: "Should of". That's should HAVE, brainiacs. "Alot". It's TWO WORDS PEOPLE. "Irregardless". This one is particularly annoying to word nerds because IT IS NOT A WORD!!! "Can I?" I don't know - can you? You MAY...

I have a thousand or so that I'd like to add to this, but I'll narrow it down. I know the dialect of certain regions plays a part. Here in NB, there are a few terms that drive me batshit crazy. "I seen". No - I HAVE seen. Or I SAW... "I seen a few cows today." NO YOU DIDN'T... because that doesn't mean anything.

"Some" used as an adverb. "That dog is SOME cute". Shut up - you're annoying me.

The worst, though... the ones that make me want to scream... are the new LAZY terms that people have picked up from social media. "This!" followed by an image or a meme... really? Is that all you can come up with? Did you forget how to create a sentence? Do you have a descriptive thought of your own? Apparently not.

And my number one, most hated lazy phrase is.... "Because, (insert word here)". A photo of your dog being weird. Caption "Because dog". A photo of the traffic circle mentioned above and a clusterfuck of drivers not knowing what to do. "Because Drivers." A line up outside the grocery store in the freezing cold "Because Covid". You all suck.

And... for my friend who feels the same way, I feel it is my duty to let you all know that the plural of Fish is fish. The plural of Deer is Deer. If you don't know, feel free to ask.

13) This is getting long, so I'm going to consolidate the workplace peeves. Pay attention, because apparently multitudes of people hate these:

• Whistling at work
• Taking the last cup of coffee and not making a new pot
• Filling up the dishwasher and not turning it on
• Taking the last treat and leaving the empty tray for someone else to clean
• Keeping communal cutlery and cups in your cubicle
• cutting your nails at your desk - DISGUSTING!
• Not cleaning the microwave after your spaghetti explodes

I know there are lots more... but these seem to reign supreme in the "why my colleagues drive me nuts" category.

14) Bad manners and even worse behaviour. Again, I'm lumping a few together... in case you're getting bored.

1. Claiming responsibility for someone else's work. That is anything from your boss taking your ideas, to strangers stealing your intellectual property and marketing it as their own.
2. Not picking up after your dog. Do YOU enjoy stepping in someone else's dog shit? I think not.
3. Handicapped people with permits parking in a handicapped spot and being judged. Really? It's not like you could have used that spot anyway. Why don't you just be thankful that you don't walk with a support aid and go pound sand.
4. Not thanking someone, especially a stranger, for doing something nice like holding the door for you, letting you cut in line etc. C'mon people, are manners a thing of the past? Did they die out with our grandparents?

Well that about sums up the input from the peanut gallery, but I'll add a few of my own that no one else mentioned.

Pulling out your phone when we are doing something together... having a meal, watching a movie, conversing... Back in my day, people in your presence took precedence over anyone trying to call. You need to look something up? Do it later when I'm not halfway through a conversation with you. And, some of you might not know this, but you don't actually have to answer your phone every time it rings. We have voice mail - and the ability to call someone back after our appointment with the bank manager - or  putting the car in park.

Being late. If I'm having a get together at 7pm and I tell you that it is at 6pm, you know that you are the one who is most unreliable.

Liars. Seriously - tell me the truth now so we can sort this out. If I find out down the road that you were fibbing, I'll be a lot more angry...

Spam/ Junk Mail/ Targeted ads

Doing everything online... I hate the phone, but I'd like to actually order my pizza from a human once in a while. Yes, my age is showing.

Noise. Yes, I'm ancient... but I also don't want to hear your Skidoo at 10:30 at night. Have a little respect for your community.

I have a thousand more, but we want to hear yours now. Please share.

Sincerely,

the grumpy old bag down the road. (me)