The Longest Road Beside You

As I sit here on this quiet afternoon, the memories of our time together come flooding back to me. The golden afternoons, when the summer sun would dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow over everything. Those were the times I waited for you, and we walked home together. The distance we covered was so short, merely from the doorstep to the gate, yet to me, it felt like the longest path beside you I had ever walked.

I remember the gentle rains, the soft patter of droplets on the ground. I would wait endlessly, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, but you were nowhere to be found. In those moments, I felt a sense of unease, as if I had missed something important, or perhaps you had already moved on. The turmoil in my heart was matched only by the stifling sounds of the world around me.

I knew from the beginning that you belonged to someone else, but love has a way of blurring reason. It's hard to describe the emotions I felt then, the longing mixed with resignation. The heart rarely listens to the voice of reason, does it, my love?

And then came the inevitable - the time for you to study abroad in America. It was the definitive untying between you and me. I remember falling silent as you told me about how your family saw you as an obstacle to their progress. I was the one who witnessed your tears, felt your pain, and was supposed to ensure that those tears never appeared.

But amidst the struggles, I found an opportunity for myself. I came closer to you, and I sensed the affection you held for me to some extent. Every early morning, I made it a habit to wake up earlier just to message you, to ensure that you woke up to a message from me. We went for breakfast together, witnessing the dawn after waking up, just you and me.

Time passed - one month, two months, one year. I knew it was time for me to speak up, to express the thoughts that had been lingering unspoken for so long. But I hesitated. I held back.

Then came the day when you said, "I'm sorry, I can't go any further." Over the past year, I had given so much love and trust, knowing that I received very little in return. Yet, during that time, I knew that you still cared about someone else, worried about them, messaged and joked with them - all while trying to hide it from me. You said you were born to be loved and wanted me to always be yours, not anyone else's. But what was I to you during that time? A nurturer? Someone to provide what you lacked? Or perhaps more accurately, a substitute? Someone to give the love you were missing?

It's been three years since that day. Do you have anything to tell me about you and him now? Do they still love you? I know it all, but I don't care anymore. To me, you're just a memory - neither more nor less.

As I write these words down today, it's not for closure or for any specific reason. It's simply to let you know that you still mean something to me. Not in the same way as before - not with the same intensity. It's a feeling that neither fades nor blooms, without the bitterness of taste or smell. No one has been able to fill that void, perhaps because I loved you too deeply.

So here I am, at peace with the memories we shared and the path we walked together - the longest road beside you