The insecurity in my eyes

I have come across a good number of persons who do have a problem of insecurity and I thought I’ll address it in an article even though I think most of them won’t get the opportunity to read this. Regardless! For those who will get the chance, I hope this can make a change in your life for the better and help you feel less insecure.

Our insecurity journey begins at a very tender age, when we are kids we feel insecure about everything we do because we have no knowledge of what we are doing, so we look for security and reassurance in the eyes of our parents to validate everything we do. This is to say that insecurity is nothing new and mostly comes from the fact that we have doubts about what we are doing. Somehow, looking in the eyes of others and getting an approval nod or the lack of a disapproval nod reassures us and sparks confidence in our minds.

You are always going to feel insecure

Unless you know everything there is to know, you are always going to feel some level of insecurity, there are always going to be doubts in your mind. I don’t think there is anybody on the planet who can claim they know everything or can even learn everything, so for those things they don’t know, they are always going to have a certain level of insecurity at the back of their minds.

The problem comes here because of how we express our insecurities, some express it through their facial expression which is always seeking for validation, others express it through aggression by taking the offensive against anybody who questions their knowledge, yet again others try to rather blame the other person. There are different ways you can express your insecurities, but what you shouldn’t do is deny them. Its very hard for some people to even admit to themselves that they are insecure, talkless of not knowing something, some people would rather make a mistake than ask for help.

Never say I don’t know

Ignorant is the last thing any of us wants to be, saying I don’t know feels like capitulating, it's like you’ve given up and you accept your weakness. Nobody likes that feeling, and saying I don’t know is the last thing we want to be saying, especially when it's something which impacts your life directly. This is so because despite having parents, teachers and educators, there are still so many things we have to learn by ourselves, things which are evident for others, and yet we are still oblivious to us, we learn them through observation of others and social clues.

For example, nobody taught you social norms, you learned them by observing others, so admitting you don’t know on which side of the sidewalk you need to walk feels so demeaning. In the same way we take this mentality to another level and apply it even to things where we are justifiably ignorant. People feel insecure about not knowing, history, current events, things they should have learned in school, jokes, information etc and these insecurities show up all around their lives.

Solving it through delusion

You can’t get rid of every insecurity, but you can control the way you express your insecurity, this is important because when you do it the wrong way, you tend to destroy opportunities which might have been coming your way, you also make people uncomfortable and make the whole environment feel displeasing. How many qualified candidates lose jobs because they feel insecure, how many persons have given up on their dreams because of insecurities and much more

For some persons, the way they deal with their insecurities is with pure delusion, they just convince themselves that they know everything and what they don’t know is irrelevant. This helps them approach every situation with much more confidence.

The truth is that you can fool people all around you, even with a false sense of confidence. Imagine all those generals who lead whole armies into wars where they know they are going to lose, that can only be possible through delusion since all your senses are telling you not to go. Convince yourself you know even the things you don’t and that will build up the confidence you need to approach every situation, but be careful not to lie to yourself and put you and everybody else in danger.

Solving it through knowledge

The obvious way of dealing with insecurity is by obtaining the knowledge you lack. When you are an expert at something, there is very little doubt you’ll have about that thing and people who know less about it can hardly tell you anything or make you feel insecure, so the more you know, the less you will feel insecure.

Attaining self-confidence

There is a general sense of self-confidence you can have to approach every situation with the right attitude and express your insecurities in the right manner. Think about leaders, CEOs, project managers etc, they can’t possibly claim they know everything which is happening all around them but they can’t move around oozing with insecurities, when you are the leader, everybody expects you to inspire confidence even when you have little knowledge.

I hardly imagine any president or CEO saying “I really don’t know what to do”

With the right attitude, they approach even the most challenging of circumstances with the right mindset and oozing confidence.

You don’t expect me to give you a magical solution to self confidence in just a paragraph, do you? I suggest you read some popular books on that topic and you practice alot, thats how you will attain self-confidence, thats why to be a leader you need to read alot, so as to gain all that wisdom and master all those lessons.

Thanks for reading ☺️

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